How to Divorce as Allies, Not Enemies | Allison O’Brien | TED

Ending a marriage doesn’t have to mean ending a family, says communication expert Allison O'Brien, who navigated her own divorce without lawyers or mediators. She introduces a framework for ensuring a divorce remains peaceful, supports children and creates a new family dynamic that nurtures everyone involved. (Recorded at TEDxBoulder on September 14, 2024)

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[andrewlevas]

I used three rules. One, never discuss your relationship with your spouse with the children, even when they’ve matured. Two, never use the children as a weapon against your spouse. Three, never use the children as spies in the house of your spouse.

[memories-iu]

It's better to be a single parent without marriage than divorce.

[travelingtophe]

Well put. I wish my parents would have watched this 45 years ago.

[patricksnyder]

How about a talk on how to STAY MARRIED

[ArunKumar-bplo]

need both parents to understand & matured enough

[StrongButAwkward]

It's a good strategy if you and your spouse are both good faith partners in a divorce between two people who worked together but don't any longer.

The problem is lots of marriages aren't that. When one partner was emotionally/psychological manipulative and abusive and used the other person and not only never showed real guilt but tried to rewrite the relationship into a story of their own victimization... Well it's not a situation where any of this advice about forgetting or sharing blame or moving on is at all applicable, much less helpful.

[drumbum.]

One needs to know; and be able to differentiate, between friends, enemies, allies, opponents, and adversaries. Sometimes the likes of which can change in (less than) the blink of an eye.. .

[sooma-ai]

Communication expert Allison O'Brien shares her experience of navigating a peaceful divorce without lawyers, using three key concepts: a vision for the future, emotional agility, and a commitment to listening. She emphasizes the importance of prioritizing children and maintaining a positive family dynamic post-divorce.

[sunilchoudhury]

It is easy when you are a narcissist benefitting from the divorce.

[tereasia]

I DEEPLY regret not getting a lawyer!!!!

[LiveWire_Guy]

For the same irrational and emotional reasons that women initiate the divorce is the same reason the female uses the children to hurt the father. The health of the children is subordinate to the woman’s need to punish based on their unpredictable emotions. No fault divorce is the problem.

[GalaxyExpress-hqqb]

Good narrative, and I get your point. I also had a peaceful breakup, so I definitely know what you mean. But don't you think you and I were the lucky ones? It's a lot easier to be a good actor if the opponent is a good actor.

[gheangel_quinn]

I’ve got things I must do today. Things which involves the beginnings of a few teachings by dishing out some of their own Med’a’Sins back to them!

[sinnguyen]

how ex husband and currently husband can stay together which see her presentation, appreciate it.

[ZNLBailey]

Marriage is an outdated social construct from a time where it was necessary. It's not anymore.
Giving someone so much power over you and your life is such a bad deal in so many ways.

[SitolMohanty]

I don’t know if I should be recommending this book or warning people about it. The things it teaches are not for everyone. If you’re comfortable living in ignorance, do not read Vibrations of Manifestation.

[luis_discovery]

That’s nice and all, but why did they get divorced? If one of the spouses cheated on the other, good luck getting the other side to say “we’re good friends and he’s sitting right there” 😂

[cheatings-st]

I am a trangeder author. This just inspired me to his video inspired me to create a new video about family issues. Thanks to the whole community for your support, I wouldn't have achieved anything without you!

[erminm]

Imagine having your marriage talked at a Ted😅women

[JoshTerror]

Or maybe, just maybe. Don't get married in the first place. Simple