'Regretful Parents' Are Going VIRAL. Here's What I Think

Parents are going online to complain about how much they hate their kids. Here's my response to those parents.

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[chernagast]

Adult babies are are not qualified to raise infant babies. I made dumb mistakes and had my first at 17. I spent my entire pregnancy researching how to care for babies and train and raise them. I taught my children 'no' and 'stop' by the time they were 6 months old and crawling so that I could stop them from getting hurt. My mother had a FIT, telling me that I couldn't teach my children until they were THREE. Ignored her. I could take my 18mo old baby into fine dining and they were QUIET and well-behaved. The wait staff could not believe it. 7 years later the restaurant STILL REMEMBERED US. I made the conscious choice that "No, I WILL enjoy my children", and it made a HUGE difference. I had fun with my kids because I decided to, and because I wanted them to be safe, able to learn, and able to regulate their own emotions and behavior.

[calvinsmyth]

I was in a long line behind a woman with a five-year-old son. He was quietly behaving. They talked together off and on. Then he took her hand and gently began swinging their hands together, smiling and looking adoringly up at her. She told him it shouldn't be much longer. He said, "I don't care, " then kissed her hand and said, "I love you." I thought, wow, that woman is doing something right. She is the type who should be a mother. What a loving, well-behaved child he was!

[MichelleNovalee]

I like Jordan Peterson’s rule, “Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them.”

[LaynieLashes]

From a female perspective some of this may be untreated post partum depression. I felt no connection to my daughter for the first 3 months, I was in a fog, I thought I hated being a mother because I had never felt worse. It was the depression lying to me. Once I focused on healing everything changed. My daughter is the best gift I’ve ever received. I cherish our bond.

[Greywolf-]

This is what happens when a society promotes narcissism as a cultural virtue.

[timgomolka]

Maybe the child that went mute did so because she picked up on her mother’s distain for her.

[heathermcdougall]

I had my children, as an older mother. They were really wanted and totally loved. You have to accept as a mum, especially, that having children will change your life. However, you always have to be the grown-up and YOU are in charge, of discipling your children and more importantly, civilizing them. If this is not achieved by age 4, it's unlikely things with your kids will get any better. They are NOT your friend, and massive conflict is inevitable with younger toddlers as they are total savages.

[SM_]

To be fair, parenting isn’t for everyone. If social media existed in 1920s, I can assure you that people would be writing the exact same thing.

[janeyrevanescence]

My father walked out on us and said to my younger brother and me that it was because he realized he wasn’t cut out to be a husband and father. I think he regretted having kids.

Several years later, Mom and I were talking about past regrets and she talked about her pregnancies.

Mom had a rough go both times. She suffered from HG (severe morning sickness, the same illness Kate Middleton had) and ended up needing hospitalization for dehydration and malnutrition several times (anti nausea medication wasn’t as good as it is today). She also got sick with typhoid fever when pregnant with my brother (we were living in Mexico at the time).

I asked her if she regretted having us. She said, a bit offended, and said “Absolutely not. I would go through it all over again if I was given the chance to.”

And that’s when I gained a lot more appreciation and respect for Mom. She was the one who endured more than my father. And she decided that it was worth it.

[duanemorrison]

I’m willing to bet that 99% of the women saying that they hate their kids would be trying to keep custody if they got divorced. 😐

[Leslie_Knope]

There are SO many people who should not be parents who ARE parents. Try to remember that the next time you say to someone, "You're selfish for not having kids." I know I don't want that life. Do what is right for YOU, because you will have to live with the consequences. Those kids will suffer the most.

[teresa_chan]

This is why society needs to stop pressuring women to have kids and BELIEVE them when they say they don't want to have kids.

[sconartist]

They’re describing their children like stray cats that just showed up at their house..

[wetwingnut]

The moment I held my newborn son I realized that my world was not about me anymore. I am a professional engineer. I've designed many large buildings and other projects. Nothing I have ever done has been as rewarding or important as the children I have helped to create for the world.

[kristinpruett]

A dcotor told me the same thing 12 years ago when I said my child slapped, hit and spit on me in public. She said I was just a terrible parent. Fast forward 10 years. My oldest was finally diagnosed and with autism. Thanks to my pediatrician I really believed it was my fault and spent years and years reading parenting books to fix my "terrible parenting." For mothers out there struggling...make sure there isn't more to it. It was 10 years too late for me.

[ag]

I have three children, ages seven, three, and one. It is not easy, and they are very needy. On a bad day They scream. Almost all day, fight like cats and dogs. I am constantly tired and I have not had time alone with myself or with my husband for almost two years. I am constantly cleaning, cooking, or yelling more than I would like to admit, but I am also laughing, learning, and teaching love, kindness, and compassion. It is not one-sided either; they have taught me patience, forgiveness, and selflessness. I have been humbled too many times to count. On top of that, I have chosen to homeschool. I have struggled at times, but I have never regretted my precious gifts from God. I believe that many of these women who feel this way are broken and hurting, and the only one who can heal them and put them back together is God. Time is short, and the time for salvation is now.

[jessymontclair]

I think a huge blame is social media. If my baby was crying and my for you page was full of people on vacation, clean homes and perfect outfits, I’d probably get depressed. We all gotta get off our phones and live the life that’s in front of us.

[RyanJ]

Your kids, 1 and 3, took away everything you enjoyed?

No they didn't. You brought them into this world. They didn't take anything away from you. You made them. You are not a victim.

[toastcurry]

Im grateful for the parents that are openly talking about regretting children. Since I was a child people around me kept telling me about how having children would be the best thing I ever would ever do and that it needs to happen and that I will only be happy as a woman once i have children. I have always known that i in fact did not want children and the parents talking about these regrets solidify my decision to not have children. Its important for people to be honest because having children is not for everyone. I would have been one of these miserable parents if not for their warnings.

[beastie]

Sounds like some serious long-term postpartum depression that was never recognized and left unresolved. This is very sad.