Magical Memory

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A quick video about the significance of memory in Hermeticism
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I've been having SUCH a hard time meditating :( With it being such an incredibly important part of learning/studying/practicing the occult, it troubles me greatly. I'm a single mother of 2 small children, having left an abusive husband via a traumatic divorce and the memories HAUNT me :( They invade my every thought.. Besides buying books on how to meditate, would anyone have any advice, for techniques on how to win this horrific battle? Thank you I LOVE you so much Martin, such an inspiration to me.

bellzTolled