Turning 30 | Life Lessons I Learned In My 20s

I turned 30 recently, and with that has come some reflections on what I learned in my 20s - especially in light of the questions I've received over the last few months about dealing with self-doubt, self-reflection and the confusing questions in life. In this video, I'll be sharing the most important lessons I learned as well as some of the challenges that I had.

*Contact and Goodies*

Timestamps:
0:00 Introduction
1:21 First Lesson
4:22 Second Lesson
7:47 Third Lesson

[eason]

In the Asian community, you can only be a lawyer, doctor, accountant, or engineer. I graduated college and worked at an oil company pursuing the 6 figure salary career that some of my friends wanted. About 2 years into the job, I decided to follow a different path, so I returned to graduate school. So far, I have worked in healthcare, renewable energy engineering, and military flying. You don't know what will happen in the next 5 months let alone 5 years. When hiring managers ask me about my vision for my 10-year plan, I genuinely would stop and resist the urge to ask them their own questions. Hang in there and stay strong my friends. If you knew exactly what your life will be like, would you still want to go through it knowing so well that you can't change a damn thing? Would you still look forward to living your life if you knew your whole life story?

[leeroyjenkins]

I seriously have so much respect for you guys sharing these deeply personal thoughts and views into the world. To a lot of viewers it may just seem like "content", but a lot of Em's lessons she's shared takes an incredible amount of introspection, humility and maturity. We see a lot of generic advice on the internet but to break down our own walls in the challenges we face is one of the toughest things we face. Kudos to you Em for your absolute bravery for sharing these aspects of true self for us to learn from. Wanting you guys to know that your lessons do not fall on deaf ears

[RudolphManor]

I recently turned 33 in June and I'm blessed to be here. 💯

[ngcy]

All the best to you Em. Im in my 12th year of practice. The first 9-10 years were very tough on me, physically and especially mentally. There were very dark days. In the early days, I wished a bus would run me over on my way to work so that I could have a reason to stop working. I remember hoping that I would go into a coma so I could just sleep and ignore the demands made of me.

I was like you, always relying on external validation to feel good about myself. I had quite a "tough love" childhood, was a straight As' student. I did not love myself. I was obsessed with what clients, colleagues, bosses thought of me. I constantly ruminated over people's comments. Any negative feedback would send me into a spiral.

What changed for me was - I became a mother. Then I realised, I needed to fix myself. My work and the toxicity in my work environment then were taking a toll on me. I could not let that go on for the sake of my family.

I quit that job, even though I was promised a partnership track. In my new job I realised instantly the environment again was not for me. Changed job another time, this time choosing the job based on culture and values, as opposed to money and prestige. In the meantime, I started building my own network. I also started seeing a therapist who was a tremendous help in unwinding many of the psychological issues I had been facing, tracing them back to my childhood. Also, most recently, I've been exploring Christianity (which I abandoned when I was younger because I felt it didn't help me reach my goals), learning to rely on God and learning Jesus Christ's unconditional love for me.

Now, I'm still a work in progress. I am definitely happier and more confident. Instead of obsessing over career growth, I'm focusing on my character development. I still face stresses but they no longer sink me.

[omgsharpies]

Thank you for posting this Em. I'm 27, about to turn 28, and in the midst of shaking up my career in a way that I didn't expect would happen even a few months ago. A lot of what you said resonated with me deeply.

[minsabrinali]

Em IS much more Em and she is glowing with that maturity and ease.🤍

[christinaphan]

I just turned 30 as well and am a third year associate in big law. These videos you both create are so therapeutic and I feel you so much. Thanks for sharing and putting this together❤️

[DilsJourney]

This was the video I was waiting for! As 23 year old whose just started my first major job in London, it can sometimes feel lost in terms of what to do. Really valuable to hear what you learned and it will no doubt help me navigate through my 20s

[cls]

Thank you for sharing all your thoughts about quitting law practice. I wish I have your courage. I'm into my 24th year of law practice as a litigation lawyer. I used to enjoy it but now I dread it. You just turned 30. I'm 50 and all I can say is that not everyone has life all figure out. I thought I did but now I realise I need to reexamine certain assumptions and re-learn some lessons. I am learning even now that the ability to adapt and change course is very important. I am the process of resetting and your videos is a source of encouragement for me. Learning a lot from them. Keep up the good work!

[ericzheng]

I'm also in my late 20s and decided to switch to a 100% new career, so I can totally relate to what you said. To be honest, I'm kind of scared because i don't know where this is going. But what you said about the anticipation of the future somehow just gave me some faith. Thank you!!

[kristie]

I'm 31 and going through my bar now... just discovered your videos a few days ago and really resonate with what both of you speak about. I really like legal practice, but I'm pushing myself so hard just to get work done and it's really impacting on my health. Makes me hesitant if obtaining qualification is even "worth it". Thanks for making your content!

[danielho]

I like that you are being introspective, which is very hard to do so

[qianying]

The transition between scenes is so pretty and smooth! Thank you for such great video and content . Happy for your decision ❤️❤️

[kara]

0:55 I love that part!! I think this is one of my favorite videos from your channel, it's so relatable. I feel like a lot of people in the 20's/30's/40's are still figuring out their life but because we grew up with the idea that adults should have their life together, it feels contradictory to admit that we don't know what we're doing even if that's the truth. I love how this video is allowing conversations like these to happen because I'm sure there are thousands of people experiencing the same problem but because very few people discuss it openly, it becomes something that is just swept under the rug. Props to you for going against the conventional path to find a more fulfilling path. I'm sure you'll do great in whatever you pursue!

[MichaelGrode]

I love how you changed the scenery for each lesson and sprinkled little clips throughout. I appreciate the detail you went into for each lesson while still being concise. I know I will be revisiting this video in the future for a reminder if I need it, especially for the third lesson. I hope to reach the same level of self-confidence that you have Em. Thank you for being an inspiration.

[samho]

Love this video so much, agreed with you fully on leaving comfort zone because of the unknown and uneasy factors, having the courage to go on is not easy; BUT SO GLAD YOU DID The tradition way is good but doesn't mean YOUR WAYS isn't, no need to always follow marriage, good job, have kids, have home and then Can't wait to hear what's next for Continue to support Enjoy your break!!!!

[anguswang]

As an entry-level Legal Associate, I highly appreciate your guys' great efforts to make the informative and thought-provoking videos and they are just super helpful in terms of my career, especially the situations when I felt extremely helpless and did not know what I should proceed. And BTW, videos created by you guys, at the very least, in my opinion, deserve more views and followers! And you guys' accent and way of speaking remind me of the time when I was preparing for my TOFEL examination, which I missed a lot! Anyways, thank you guys so much for this candid and honest sharing, and watching every video is more like attending an enlightening lecture.

[Avant]

Excellent video! It has prompted me to do some self reflection as well, seeing that I will be turning 30 later this year. I love that you are so honest and true with your feelings and I’m grateful for your videos.

[mangocaramelz]

Wow I've just turned 30 this year as well and have recently quit the finance/accounting industry that I've been in as well due to parent's expectations. It's been a tiring 10 years. & I know my story is just way too common among asian families. I still struggle sometimes with the internal dialogue and shame of us millennials being 'entitled' just because I choose to quit a job that doesn't sit well with me. At the end of it all, I'm the one who has to bear the realities of my decisions of working a job that consumes me . I've learnt to have the courage to accept what works for me and not judge myself for it even if society does.

[Eroll_Fingal_Groote]

I appreciate you sharing these three lessons with us; I find them to be quite encouraging.