Separation Anxiety: Does your dog go crazy when you leave? Here's what to do!

[onlyonecannoli]

Having owned a dog with separation anxiety for 13 years (which two separate vets diagnosed as the worst case they had ever seen), I believe I have some first-hand knowledge of what works and doesn't work. First, let's translate this into something more relatable. Panic attacks...we've either heard of them, had them, or know someone who has experienced them. A friend who suffers from panic attacks once told me that she felt like she was dying during the attacks. Now imagine what your pet is feeling each and every time you leave home...welcome to separation anxiety. Separation anxiety is just a panic attack that your dog suffers each and every time you leave them. They come in different forms with varying degrees of stress, but make no mistake, these are doggie panic attacks.

Here is a list of what to do:

1. You need to make sure that your dog is thoroughly exercised. A tired dog has less anxious energy at the time of exposure to the triggers.

2. Watch for your own type of triggers. For example, walking around while grabbing keys, wallet, purse, jacket, etc. are cues to your dog that he/she should start getting anxious. You must desensitize your pet to these triggers. This takes time and dedication, so plan ahead before having to leave the house. Add an additional 30 minutes to your routine. During that time, pretend that you are leaving. Grab your keys and jacket, go to the door, open the front door, then close it and go sit down somewhere else in a calm fashion and remain there (reading, etc.) until your dog relaxes. Then repeat a few times at different intervals. Then start exiting the front door for a minute and then return. Ignore your pet at all times during this process. Your dog will come to you all happy to see you at first. Resist the temptation to acknowledge them. Each time increase the amount of time that lapses before reentering your home. Be sure to keep your pet guessing by leaving the third time one day and the fifth time another. Keep switching it up. That will keep your dog guessing and unable to ascertain when you are actually leaving. Be patient, this may take weeks before you see major improvements. However, if you stick with it, it will work! Your dog will stop getting anxious when you leave and when you return. As time goes by, begin reducing the time that you include in your routine before leaving until you just leave without any warning.

One important note...be sure you are calm (to the extent that it is possible) whenever leaving home. Dogs can literally read your emotional state by sensing your hormonal response to stimuli. If you are stressed and anxious...they will be too. Notwithstanding, keep in mind that any unexpected event may provoke an anxiety attack and you will then need to once again reinforce the routine. If your dog begins to regress, take a step back to examine what you are doing. Then begin the desensitization process once again. Even if your dog is not regressing, it's good to still do these exercises from time to time to reinforce the good behavior. Conversely, if your dog continues to regress, you need to look in the mirror as you will most likely be the cause of the regression. Sometimes we fall into patterns of behavior that inadvertently send signals out to our dog. Low energy/calm routines are the best ways to keep fido relaxed.

3. DO NOT GIVE YOUR DOG loves when he/she is in an excited state. Similarly, DO NOT OVERDO the loves. This is perhaps one of the hardest things that I had to learn. Our instinct is to shower our pet with love. However, this is disastrous with dogs that have separation anxiety. You need to give them love, but only when they are calm and in small doses. If they become too excited, you need to back away until they calm down. If they begin to regress, you need to take an honest assessment of how much affection you are giving your dog. It seems counter-intuitive at first, but you will recognize that your dog will be happier and less anxious with fewer huggies and kisses from you. If you ignore this advice, you will be unwittingly reinforcing their anxiety.

4. When coming home, DO NOT engage your pet for a good 15-30 minutes. Come into your home and go about your business completely ignoring them. He/She will be hyper-excited, so it is critical that you don't reinforce this behavior by giving them loves at that time. Wait until they are calm and then give them some brief attention and go about your business.

5. You must take steps to ensure that your dog is not always in the same room as you. Some dogs with separation anxiety exhibit velcro behavior. That is, they will be right by your side at all times. They will lay at your feet at any given moment if given the opportunity. Others will lay in different parts of the same room, but always staring at you or sleeping with their head aimed in your direction. It is important to not encourage this behavior and you MUST put your dog in a different room and/or out of your sight so that they can learn to become relaxed outside your field of view.

After many...many trials and failures, I came up with a formula that worked well with my dog. It minimized the anxiety to an acceptable level and the episodes of destruction and injury greatly diminished. However, they never went away completely. Just like you don't cure autism, you don't cure separation anxiety; you just learn to work with it and make your pet's life as enjoyable and stress-free as possible. I know that even after years of conditioning, an unexpected knock at the door, a strange noise, etc., when away from home can trigger a response. Such is life when owning a dog with separation anxiety.

As long as you fulfill their needs before your own, you will have a happy pet.

P.S. I know some will ask about medication. I went that route for short while but abandoned it after realizing that the only way to control the behavior with medicine was to use it at levels which greatly diminished her quality of life. That was a tradeoff I was not willing to make. Anti-depressants like Clomipramine did not work for us and neither did benzodiazepines like alprazolam (Xanax). Though not particularly successful in my case, there are some reports of the successful use of medication and behavioral modification (as described above) to help control the anxiety. Each dog will respond differently. Unfortunately, my dog was not a good candidate for this approach, but it is worth taking a look at this method if your dog reacts favorably to the medication.

[kevnar]

My dog literally crashed through a window trying to get to me when I left without him yesterday. Poor pup cut his nose. Now that's extreme anxiety.

[QuotingCourtney]

I could cry - thank you Zac! I’ve watched this video maybe 5 times in the past year as I’ve dealt with my babies extreme separation anxiety. I’ve tried big areas, his crate, I’ve tried kongs, CBD, thunder shirt, pheromones - EVERYTHING and nothing worked... UNTIL I rewatched this video this weekend and realized the key ingredient I was missing was to put him in a separate room (one he can’t see me leave from and is comfortable in). THIS HAS HELPED TREMENDOUSLY! He’s happy and calm and so far (knock on wood) his constant crying is little to none. So grateful for this advice! After a year of struggling I can finally leave the house again without worrying myself silly.

[ACrzBrz]

Omg, my dogs is the same, he follows me everywhere "every step you take, every move you make, I'll be watching you"

[ekklesiast]

That's exactly what I did with my sheltie. He was starting crying and barking immediately I leave the house. So went out just for 1 second and got back instantly. Then I went for 2 seconds, then 3, and so on up to 10. 15 seconds, 20 seconds, etc. Yes it took a few hours to teach him to wait calmly just for 20 minutes. But at the end he understood that I'm not going forever and that me leaving and returning is not a big deal.

[uuk]

HI, I have a dog with severe SA too, but it has gotten a little better with years of training. in my opinion the only way to treat this condition is to do it step by step, very slowly. Make sure your dog is in a calm state o mind. (Like go for a walk, let it come home, settle down: then it's time to train). First you can just put on your jacket, pick up your keys or anything that you normally do when you're about to leave, but then not actually leave, just take off the jacket again and go back to doing what you normally do. Do this exercise at least 3-4 times a day. When your dog doesn't freak out cause of this anymore (like after a week or smth) you can go a step further and try opening the door and closing it again, without going anywhere.
In a few weeks you can probably go outside for a few seconds, then minutes, after a few months maybe half an hour. It is important not to pay any attention to your dog while you're training! (Coming and going shouldn't be any big business at all, if you compliment your dog a lot for just managing to be alone it can think being along is quite scary). This is the way! Patience is all that you need - it is very difficult but completely possible. My dog can be alone for about 20 minutes now without starting to pant, run around and howl. Yay.

[c.elenavela]

Just got a new puppy and his anxiety gives me anxiety. I can’t even go to the bathroom without him freaking out. My kids take turn sleeping on the couch because he needs to be with someone. He is an 11 week old Siberian husky. I hope this video helps me a bit. Thank you!

[wonderdoguniversity]

Nice intro to SA, Zak! I'm a Certified Separation Anxiety Trainer (CSAT) and sadly hear a great deal of misinformation out there. Thanks for shedding true light on this topic!

[saigiridhar]

What have we done to deserve such loving creatures? :'(

[desireebecker]

My dog has EXTREME separating anxiety, if I go to the bathroom for like 2 mins she'll be screaming and clawing the door and the way she screams make it sound as if she's being abused. Same with if we leave she goes ballistic and I can hear her crying all the way from my car.

[EvosAndMakeup]

This video is so helpful! Thank you! My Belgian Malinois has SEVERE seperation anxiety. The things she's destroyed have cost much more than anything I have bought/paid for her the past 2yrs I've had her. And she's very loved and cared for, so essentially, she's caused thousands of dollars in property damage. Multiple times. I've tried everything, but absolutely refuse to give up on her. I even moved houses, got her trained as a therapy dog, and have all her papers. It's just very frustrating, as it gives ME anxiety to leave her at all, especially because she's so big, and I'm so tiny. No one else has the patience with her like I do. Before I got her from the pound, it was clear she had been abused. Huge gash missing from her tongue, and road-rashes on her leg. But she has the most beautiful soul I've ever seen! I know she loves me with all her heart, but it is frustrating to pay all the money for everything she destroys, complaints from neighbors, constantly ruined kennels, jumping fences taller than a grown man, constant barking, worrying about her, etc. I just want her to have the best life possible!

[nataliet]

i’m 16 an just got a 1yr old german shepard lab mix & i have to train her all by myself. these videos are helping me SO much !!! thank u 🙏🏼

[uwu-nrmh]

This would be significantly easier if I didn’t live in an apartment

[tarasorresrex]

I work at a doggy daycare and boarding, and there’s this dog who screeches for their owner the entire time. I usually spend the entire work day just petting him, holding him, teaching him to sit.

[cocobluebellathegermanshep]

Im impressed with our 5month GSD, we simply told him that we will be back and
He is good wd it

[wizemind]

I got a dog two weeks ago. Her name is Emma. I work from home but there are certain days where I have to leave the house for 4 hours at the most. She definitely has separation anxiety even if I leave for a second. She's a mutt so I'm not sure what breeds she has in her but she's very affectionate even around my 3 year old. Her last family I was told abandoned her so I wouldn't be surprised if the anxiety stems from that but I'm going to start doing this exercise with her now. She listens pretty good during other training so I don't think this will be too tough on her but thank you so much for showing people freely how to be patient with their animals. It's so important to remember that they are curious of life as we are and that if they are able to be patient with us we should show them the same respect.

[naturegazer]

Anyone new here scroll down to lengthy comment below.
Fabulous detailed tips from a viewer that gives you steps to take.
You definitely want to read those tips

[Hannah-pnrj]

We just adopted a 7 year old pup. Not completely sure what he is, but they told us a jack russell mix. I recorded him today when I was away for about 30 minutes. He howled a bit, cried, etc.. When we get home he is always kind of whining and Super excited to see us. We are both teachers so I am trying to get him used to us being gone as much as possible!

[thrb]

Anyone else's dog started running around after hearing the dog whimper?

[rajaniaswani]

My dog Barks and whimpers like crazy when I leave her alone. Even if I sit in front of her when she is in her X—pen! I think you should make a video about that,