The One Subject You Really Need to Study: Your Own Childhood

Our schools teach us about trigonometry, the 100 years war and the properties of atoms - but they too often forget to address the one topic we really need to understand in order to make sense of our lives: ourselves.

FURTHER READING

"There is perhaps no greater priority in childhood than to acquire an education: it’s in the early years that we have to push ourselves with special vigour to learn the lessons, and acquire the experience, that will help us successfully manoeuvre around the pitfalls of adult life. By studying hard and intelligently, we’ll have the best chance of avoiding a middle-age of confusion and resignation, regret and sorrow. The clue to a successful adult life – we’re repeatedly told – lies in childhood education…"

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Gabriella Marsh

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions

[theschooloflifetv]

What could you learn by looking at your childhood? Let us know in the comments below and be sure to turn on notifications to ensure you don't miss our next film.

[technicholy]

I realized that my parents cared more about what people thought of them as parents rather than how we actually turned out as adults.

[vonsopas]

"He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still." Lao Tzu.

[billbrasky]

It's staggering how many people have the same lonely, fragmented, and emotionally stifled childhoods as one another.

[manarhazel]

" the older I get, the more that I see. My parents aren't heroes. They're just like me " older by sasha sloan

[topgtom]

So adults are just big children who are afraid of exploring their subconscious

[Cocobird]

I read a lot as a child, and that's where I found my role models. When I was ten, I decided that there was something wrong with my parents and that it was up to me to bring myself up. It was healthier, I think, than trying to trust them.

[dianet]

"It is always -strangely- preferable for a child to think of themselves as unworthy and deficient than to see their parent as unstable and unfair." Whoa. :(

[s.]

I've been slowly realising how insane and emotionally void my own mom is, and how manipulative and possibly codependent/narcissistic she's been for many years. It's incredible how we don't even notice the abuse because it's our normal. You believe you're what's wrong in the family and that you're the insane one until you grow up and start reflecting on the many occasions you've felt unloved.

[mrloop]

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom."
– Aristotle

[mochiwaffles]

I used to think I had a perfect childhood growing up in a middle class family...until I learn about attachment theories and after taking a good look at my anxiety issues that’s been affecting my relationships my whole life, I’ve finally realized my parents had been highly critical and emotionally controlling, and my dad actually suffers from anxiety himself.

As a child I believed my parents were the best and that they were perfect, and I had to do my best to please them, but so much internal pressure was built up I eventually exploded and later resented them. There’s this period of time where I just wanted to avoid contact with them at all cost because talking to them would trigger my anxieties. Now that I know the root cause of all this, it really isn’t their fault.

But self love is the answer, parent yourself, nurture yourself, love yourself. The love is within you.

[kinofcosmos]

When I turned 19, I became more aware of a lot of things. I start to notice the traits that I hate about my parents are actually the traits I also acquired from them and apply them to my life. It’s sad how our parents are supposed to be the role models but sometimes they not knowingly teach us their negative traits and later on as we grow up, we tend to not notice it as we become like them.

[thecastle]

used to believe my childhood was amazing. it was fun being a kid outside the home but inside the home it was emotionally empty. ugh and it affects you forever...huge anxiety issues

[haydenmoore]

No one:
This channel: your childhood was shit, but don't worry so was everyone else's

[ogeo.]

I'm 15 and I've known these things for years. When you have parents you can't talk to (and for a while, my sister, before we came closer), you grow up fast. I used the internet, logic, critical thinking and self-help books. I've had to overcome a lot of things on my own and formed some bad habits along the way (I don't share/open up, not myself around people, anxiety, fear of doing things/standing out/ making the wrong decisions etc). But it's a work in progress and I know I'm getting better.

[thoughtstormjournal]

Our childhood years are so important. It's too bad that many of us spend so much time recovering from it.

[ahmedjamal]

A close friend of mine was going through depression (with overlaying anxiety). He started therapy a year ago, and from what he tells me about it, the topic they work on the most with his therapist is his childhood. Somehow, most of his current mental problems link back to his childhood and his parents behaviour. He is much better now. I strongly suggest therapy to anyone who is going through a similar experience, it really does work. Good luck 🤞

[jeremymenning]

Me: I think I'd like to be a happy, well rounded, human being with healthy relationships.

My childhood: OK Boomer.

[soapmctavish]

So we spend 25K hrs with our parents by age 18 ...It's a miracle I didn't end up in a mental institution.

[citizenmattify]

My dad was emotionally distant when I was a child, but I realise now it was because his father was the same. He didn’t know how to break the cycle, he didn’t know how to be any different. He made sure I always had books to read and I thank him for that, but I do wish I knew more about him and that he would have opened up. Now I’m the father, and I’m struggling with the same with my son. I’m trying my best to break the cycle but I don’t always succeed. But I’m hoping that because I acknowledge the fact that I’m not perfect, that I do try, that I will do better. I’ve just bought 2 journals, I’m writing my life’s story in them and my ‘wisdom’ to pass on. If I don’t succeed in being a more emotionally available parent, I hope my kids will read the journals one day and understand who I am better. But my plan is that they will not need them in order to do so. I will break the cycle and I will do better. Peace out to you all, my father died a month ago. I don’t know how to grieve properly yet 😢