A Message For Partners Of Enmeshed Men

A Message For Partners Of Enmeshed Men From Dr. Ken Adams

[thelmacurry]

My boyfriend had a prostate exam scheduled. He chose his mother to accompany him. His mother even went into the room when he was getting examined. I ran and never looked back. They are sick.

[LeoDragonite]

My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years. The enmeshment was bad! I felt like a 3rd wheel when she was around. Moving away really helped. Our marriage healed over time. I also had to have numerous conversations with him about his Mom. I expressed how I felt, no matter how negative it sounded. It finally got through to my husband and the last 3-4 years his eyes have really opened. His rose-colored glasses have finally been removed. I'm so grateful!

[sharon]

I no longer suffer from the desire to hang around and try to help anyone with these kinds of problems. Its enough to heal and love ourselves from our own abuse, I dont need to go thru this with another enmeshed adult man who doesnt see how his behavior hurts.

[SeraphSong]

I lived 22 years of hell dealing with this. Took my soul and my smile away.

[jenyahwehsal]

My boyfriend dumped me he was obsessed with his mom...called her everyday....the first thing he did afterward was to take his mom on a trip...Im glad its over

[irishmarie]

I ended a long-term relationship with a 40+ yr old man who was completely enmeshed with his mother. He would literally morph into a little boy (body language and voice tone), whether in front of her or over the phone. It was a bizarre thing to watch. She enabled his tantrums and his inability to cope with any bad thing that happened in his life. She would call during our dates (early on) and he would talk to her daily, sometimes multiple times a day. We went to couples therapy toward the end and when his mother’s behavior was brought up in a session, he flipped out and refused to say anything negative about their lack of boundaries with each other. When I learned that every woman he dated broke up with him, it all made sense. This man can’t be good for any female but his mother.

[eurekaelephant]

I have recently given up the struggle of being a second priority to him. I felt alone before, so i figured this way, it is better to be single and alone, with a chance that may change, than to always be in that relationship feeling emotionally and physically unsupported until day dot. The selfishness of these emeshed families and their overall lack of insight, blows my mind. What a rollercoaster ride.

[tiffanykim]

I literally fled with the clothes on my back six days ago because the love of my life chose his narcissistic mother and family.

[jesuslover]

My ex husband suffers from this. Mother is deeply rooted in him as a partner. I believe this dysfunctional relationship with his mother developed a female hatred/no respect of women. He has a 30 year sex addiction and lost everything. Lost his wife, home, kids, money, friends and family. His family took him back with no consequences and I became the enemy. It’s so sad. Sociopathic mother and narcissistic father created this horrible situation.

[diannetimpson]

I insisted my husband and I go to marriage counseling, and we did. But it went no where. Why? Because he had to report to his mother after every session so she could tell him the counselor was trying to break them up. She even called the counselor and told her to "leave her son alone". He stopped going. But the mother picked out another counselor for her and her son to go to (like husband and wife) to get me out of their relationship - as if I was the "other woman". Divorce.

[davidwhooo]

As a formerly and recovering enmeshed man, I have found your content and books to be very helpful in both identifying and recovering from my enmeshment. Thank You.

[MeenNBee]

The suggestion to see a therapist is damn near impossible when they emulate their mothers feelings about therapist and getting therapy.

[Muggins]

Hahaha, I am married to a man who used to be very enmeshed with his family and constantly called upon to solve their problems and do things they were capable of doing for themselves. His guilt and feelings of obligation would never allow him to say no. It lead to me being constantly left holding the bag with our home and relationship and kids and my subsequent depression and anxiety, forcing me to rely on MY family, to do the things my husband should have been doing. His family would then constantly criticise me to him for relying on my family too much and not being able to do it all by myself when they couldn’t even handle their own lives without assistance.

I’m so glad it’s not like that anymore, but the resentment from them taking my husband away when I needed him the most still stings,

[TheRealLarissa]

So true. I get treated as though I AM his mother frequently...and he doesn't even recognize it.

[leeboriack]

God help the families of enmeshed men and women. The enmeshed man's mom resents the triangulation presented by her daughter inlaw. Sad!

[gojiberry]

I'm an enmeshed daughter and I was curious about this subject from the male's POV. Thank you for your video

[ElisabethKanyer]

So creepy and I’m dealing with this right now. The mom was doing things like buying her sons baby wipes and making sure he had them up until 35 she also made him sleep with her in bed claiming he was scared, until he was 13. She needs major help and now he’s 40 and so does he. So bad. It’s ruined us.

[kawaiisenshi]

This!!!
This has destroyed my past relationship
And is now a red flag 🚩 for a potential relationships
Thank you for specializing in this!

[rc]

This is my dad. My dad would send all his money to his mother and abandon the family time and time again. He would leave us with nothing. No food or sufficient amount of clothes or money for rent. Even after she died he is still loyal to her memory and the existing family of Origin. This help me understand why I end up with men like this.

[ssam]

This was like a curse in my family. Gave it into the hands of the Lord Jesus Christ. Things are beginning to change. That's the best way you deal with it.