DUMMY: What happens if you call her DUMB?

This girl has my kind of energy. This is an aggressive communication style, not for everyone, but if you ask me, relationships are better when you can create and release tension without fear.

[mariokarter]

Men will insult each other and not mean it.
Women will compliment each other and not mean it.

[jessejordache]

"If you say something good and you mean it bad you're... probably female" HAHAHAHAHAH that's fantastic.

[carlospomares]

It's like two best friends who always give each other a hard time but they both know they don't really mean it

[dmitritelvanni]

The worst thing is when you say something neutral and completely impersonal and she takes it as bad. Every. Single. Time.

[TheLlamaHaze]

I saw the title and said to my wife, "hey, stupid" and she cried. It works!

[idonomaeatomoku]

I find all my problems with women magically disappear when I never speak to them.

[garybicknell]

That type of banter is exactly how male friendships work. We say something hurtful but known to be untrue, the recipient rolls with the punches and camaraderie is deepened. It's an inversion of the girl's "We're all 10's" lie with exact opposite reasons.

[ragnorosis]

Gotta have some level of baseline, and she's gotta have decent self esteem for it to work well.

[crockettlauncher]

It's also reminiscent of male friendships. Those generally feature a lot more fake negativity. It is very comforting because when successful, it proves that both parties are so mutually confident in the relationship that they know that any insult cannot be intended seriously. If there's any chance that it is serious, that means you're not close enough to know for sure.

[jaye]

The only problem I can see with this is if she is OK with it at the time, but then gets mad at you and changes her mind after the fact, and things go south from there, which is a real possibility in this day and age.

[muffinlordghoti]

You also can't overdo it, which is easy to do. At the end of the day words have meanings, and if you make a habit of saying mean things, one day you'll be on the outs and let one slip and and that'll be hurtful. Also, meanness is grating over time. Like getting a back-scratch is nice, but if the scratching continues until your skin is ribbons, that's not catharsis, that's damage.

[TonyB]

"Am I toxic?"

God save the Queen.

[dudejoe]

If you call her dumb, you get smarter.

[charlesdavis]

So true! The best reactions I ever got from a GF is when I said something “bad” but in a good way. It made her melt.
She knew I was a good guy, and I said it with half a grin, “Damn it, Joan, you’re pretty bossy!”
First of all, it was a bit true. Second, she knew I was a good guy and I was safe.
Third, I think it reminded her of some childhood trauma, but she was able to experience it in a good, safe, teasing way, which was very “healing” for her.
It has to be spontaneous. It’s a timing issue. If you miss the moment, then don’t do it.

[SecretMarsupial]

If it goes wrong, just tell her its a

[americandissident]

In the past, I’ve dated a total of 8 women, and gotten close with 2-3 others. I’ve noticed that out of those 10 or 11 women, the ones who were fine with this type of banter were the ones who only had a sexual connection with me. There was no long term future between us. That was probably 8 or 9 of them. The other few who I was pursuing with the possibility of making a long term relationship, they would have been offended by this. They were much more mature and had many great qualities compared to the other girls. I think that little bit of extra maturity that disallowed the insulting banter made them more fit for long term dating. I ended up marrying one and she’s the best woman I’ve ever met and love her very much. At no point in our relationship could I have ever called her dumb. Nor would I ever imagine doing that.

[bigmikeobama]

There is a question. This question is "What do women want?" Men need to learn that the right answer is "Who cares?"

[mccg]

I said " whats up flattie" she blocked me.

[shadowhawk]

Listen my guys, I'm about to drop some gold for you. Tell a girl-
" You know what your problem is, that you're so pretty no one ever tells you to shut up."
If she likes you, she will melt. if she doesn't... well you know.

[bolt]

Teasing: Because you're showing you are so confident in your position above her that you are not afraid of any negative reaction she might have. Women don't want to win, they want a winner.