Jem Veda Livestream #4 - 'Top 10 principles for your emotional mastery' + Q&A

Jem Veda Livestream #4 - "Top 10 principles for your emotional mastery" + Q&A

[Valentina_Rae]

1. Know how you feel
( Sensations in body )

- be conscious about it

2. Judge yourself less

• Negative/ Uncomfortable emotions can teach you a lot about yourself

- about yours triggers
- things that upsets you
and why thelt upset you
- why act in a certain way

• By judging yourself less, you hold space for yourself
- you stop being perfectionist

• By not holding space for yourself you're fighting yourself all the time

• Humans are infinite imperfections as in we're not perfect
- we have to accept our imperfections
- perfect is a construct we've kind of come up with

• What is perfection?
- it's just a crazy standard that we try to set

• Look at yourself
- face yourself without judgement

• Self deprecating builds the habit of judging yourself

- it also bleeds into, when you're experiencing the emotions you don't wanna experience and you'll be judging yourself for those emotions
- it gets worse because you're like i should be better than this

3. Accept your emotions

4. Separating emotional reactions from emotional prolong ( these are very different )

• It's not about always about the reaction you have

- you're gonna still get triggered by things
( It's not about being triggered by things it's about how long are you triggered/ how long are you stuck on it )

- people with bad temperament, when bad things happen to them they fixate on it through time

- Accept emotion, understand that it's there but take measures to move on beyond it

• When you prolong things this is where you
- hold grudges
- keep revisiting it
- you don't get over this situation

- it tends to be a sign of lack of a maturity too

- just because someone is older doesn't mean they're mature

- they're factors to why the person is the way they are HOWEVER we don't want to relate age with maturity only

• We want to make sure that these negative emotions doesn't

or

This rumination of the situation that happened of the reaction doesn't get prolonged across many hours/days/ weeks

- it builds up more frustration within you

- the emotions we keep practicing, it gets easier to practice those emotions
- so if you wanna be joyful, you just need to practice it more
- you don't need to wait for anything to feel a good emotion

5. Take things less personally

- there are so many factors to how one behaves but it's not always you
- sometimes you're dealing with the person's past / cognitive biases / prejudgment / associations.
- you may look someone they got bullied by, you can't control that. Vise versa, you may look like a friend of theirs.

- you have to stop looking at human interaction so myopically

- it's not always a personal attack how someone responds.
- but let's say someone responds in a way that you're not ready to hear, YOU SHOULD STILL STAY GROUNDED IN YOUR APPROACH WITH THEM.

- it's one of the biggest mistakes people make is
when someone reacts very negatively and they wanna always give it back at the same level.
- it can escalate things worse.
- you can de escalate the situation by staying very grounded in your frame.
- don't let them move you out of your sense of reality by falling into how they come across.

• EMOTIONS CAN BE A PENDULUM THAT SUCKS US IN
- the emotions of somebody else

- it can be strong emotions of a given person that sucks you into that and then you're battling that pendulum with your strong emotions and now it's a fight.

- ALWAYS REMEMBER WHAT PEOPLE GIVE US DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE TO GIVE IT BACK in that sort of way.

- sometimes when you get calm they get calm down also because what's there to be mad at so they kind of look silly when they're still mad.
- some people may still stay mad.

6. ACT DESPITE EMOTIONS

- Emotions are great signpost for where we're in a given situation
- sometimes you don't have time to analyse your emotions and stop everything

• Sometimes you need to act despite your emotions
- get into the discomfort

[christinetobiasz]

this is the type of stuff we should have learned in school.

[Valentina_Rae]

27:45 10. You can create emotions before an event happens

[nekogagarin]

Could you just writte it in a list please??