AMATEUR WORDSMITH | 2024 REMAKE | 1,000,000 SUBS SPECIAL!

In 2016 I released the very first video on this channel. A (very bad) song called ‘Amateur Wordsmith’. The description was as follows:

“Here's the first track of the new channel! It seems lots of rappers like to rap about their rap skills. I thought I'd do the same...
Massive thanks to Rude Velvet for the beats and to Paul Marke for his editing assistance!”

My descriptions tend to be a bit more long-winded nowadays, so bear with me…

Thank you so much to everyone who has subscribed to this channel – all one million of you! Hitting this milestone is obviously a huge achievement for any YouTuber, so I felt like getting a bit nostalgic and completely remaking Amateur Wordsmith. This has been way more involved than any of my remasters I’ve done before on the channel. It’s less of a remaster, not even a re-make, more of a re-imagining. What would a song I made a decade ago sound like if I made it today? There’s an all new beat, rewritten lyrics, and a shiny new video – all inspired by the original, but all (I hope) massively improved!

The red furry coat and striped blazer are the same costumes from the original video, but you might notice there are a few new ones, as well as some new costumes, and costumes from videos past. In fact, this video breaks the record for most costumes we’ve ever used in a video! Twenty-Eight!

I hope you all enjoyed this little bit of self-indulgence, and if you watch to the very end, you might see there’s more to come. The 1 million celebrations aren’t over just yet! But don’t worry, we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled nerdy gaming content soon.

Thanks to all of you who helped me get here!

All new Stupendi-Merch NOW AVAILABLE!

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Check out the full Stupendium originals playlist for all of my original songs!
STUPENDIUM ORIGINALS:

THE STUPENDIUM ON SPOTIFY:

THE STUPENDIUM ON iTUNES:

Lyrics and vocals by The Stupendium
Video by The Stupendium & Lizzy CJ
Shoot Coordinator: Lizzy CJ
Production assistant: @LawlessMarshall
Costuming by Phoenix Sterling
Guest appearance by @LawlessMarshall as the tailor
Track produced by @OxygenBeats
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The Stupendium is a musician, animator and content creator, creating weird, wonderful and usually incredibly nerdy songs and animations. Join them on their journey to obscure, niche internet stardom! They have some pretty decent videos, wonderful facial hair and a great sense of discomfort describing themself in the third person.

[TheStupendium]

THE STUPENDIUM 1, 000, 000 SUBSCRIBER STUPENDI-COIN IS NOW AVAILABLE AGAIN!

LYRICS:

Seems a lot of rappers like to rap about how good they are at rapping?
I’m better than I used to be
But I’d still hate to be dishonest with you…


VERSE1:
So, hip-hop's a new hobby I'm attempting
But there's a hiccup that needs circumventing
A niggle in the middle of the job of my dreams
And that's a lack of practice when exploring the themes
I can't rap about bitches and hoes, riches and clothes
Beating up and leaving stitches in foes
I'm not familiar with those - and it's an issue, I know
'Cause they're thematically what rappers seem to spit in their flows
Without the clout, well what's that really leave me with, hmm?
What do I spout if not some needless egotism?
I'll leave you wishing you'd switched off your speaker system
Scheme of visionary lyricism? Eh... It really isn't
And I anticipate the criticism – why are the lyrics different?
And does the act of improving the rap on a track about the fact
That you’re crappy at that kinda clash? Really match your initial vision?
It’s a weird decision, well, you can quit your bitchin’
If I could be forgiven, tell me, who just hit the million?
I did – so if you could adjust your position
And sit and swivel on my lyrical juxtaposition

CHORUS:
I'm just an amateur wordsmith
You'll be indifferent the instant you've heard it
When I'm finished, you'll be wishing you'd skipped the track
So, here's five minutes you won't get back

VERSE 2:
I’d wager there’s no other rapper so fine tailored
I’ve paid for far too many nice blazers
Style’s dangerous, all my tailors sign waivers
Fruit so fresh, I'm practically lime flavoured
If my drip seems plain, I don’t got a lot of bling
Wanna talk about chains? See my pocket watch swing
Yeah, my number of cufflinks is disgusting
My sleeves hold together better than my rhyming
If you need a dapper rapper, I’m your them, G
I’m going wild across the board – Jumenji
Yeah, this scheme don’t really work now that I’m enby
But if I’m not your first choice? I’ll be your plen B
So hit skip if I ain’t taking your fancy
‘Cause I’m pretty quick but I ain’t breaking the land-speed
‘Cause I’m pretty slick but they ain’t flailing their panties
‘Cause I need the clicks but I ain’t catering to rap beef
Schemes thicc like my pen raided the pantry
Queen Vic how my bars flame up and fans weep
Niche mix like I’m feat. Statham and Lansbury
Feet pics? You see me making a Fansly?
You know I actually prefer the original, run it back
‘Cause I’m pretty quick but I ain’t breaking the land-speed
Oh, you’ve got a plan B? Heck, I’ll be your plan Z
I’ll be waiting in the Q - John De Lancie
Just another white ‘guy’ dressed up in a nice tie
Thinks their rhymes are quite fly but it’s nothing you ain’t heard before
Flipped the drive-bys for lyrical fine dining
Green on the mic – pique your appetite? Herbivore
Know that the juiciest flow’s squeezed out of oranges
I make salads from the leaves of thesauruses
Abecedarian, apprentice, aspirant, admissible
Acceptable and adequate and average, more or less

CHORUS:
I'm just an amateur wordsmith
You'll be indifferent the instant you've heard it
When I'm finished, you'll be wishing you'd skipped the track
So, here's five minutes you won't get back

VERSE 3:
I got the sauce in the pan, so just let me cook
So that my mum and my nan can pretend it looks
Like they’re pleased I escaped from the desk and books
And my degree’s not a waste of the debts I took
Rap’s bonne vivante? Or whack hack – a crook?
Perhaps my songs just haunt like I’m the Rapadook?
My lines go on and on just like a babbling brook
Fishing for compliments without a catchy hook
The fact that this is my job’s actually mental
‘Cause chance is any mic drop’s accidental
Hit my street cred limit and my flow-verdraft
And if I’m making paper then it’s only crafts
Yeah, I flow so white like a Grecian toga
Need on more pun here to meet my quota
The craft theme might still see me over
The only pigment here is medi-ochre
There’s never been a fella so bereft of any melanin
Attempting to be clever rhyming melanin with theremin
Or terrapins called Sheridan or trendy gyms with ferrets in
Will heaven ever let me in? I’m winging more than seraphim
Pathetically projecting just a semblance of intelligence
By speccing into eloquence instead of making any sense
Like Robin and his merry men arrested by the sheriff then
Subjected to experiments to render them American

CHORUS:
I'm just an amateur wordsmith
You'll be indifferent the instant you've heard it
When I'm finished, you'll be wishing you'd skipped the track
So, here's five minutes you won't get back

VERSE 4:
My couplets aren’t scuffed as some you’ve heard
I put a lot of care in pairing up the funny words
50% of the time? Nifty attempt at a rhyme
The other half it’s… well, it’s not
My skill with similes I really haven’t mastered
But like a massive car crash I’m slowly moving past it
Now we’re at the point I really didn’t want to start yet
Let us now revisit the obligatory fast bit

Kid from the South, pissing about
Lyrics aren’t spitting, just dribbling down
Spewing a slew musically askew
As I’m chewing up tunes and then spitting them out
Failing at fame, fairly forgettable
Shameless and vain, employing a pedestal
Quips and the flips are both varied and plentiful
Spit ‘em this quick and they’re nearly illegible
Tongue tasked with too much to handle
Bars so whack, still can’t hold a candle
Get that bag? It’s straight from the landfill
But I have now featured with Dan Bull
But if my lyrics are lacking a little
It lengthens them leaning liberally alliterative
Lining up letters, while lyrically gimmicky’s
Leaving you locked with your lexicon limited
Looking for lines that alliterate wittily
Lands you in loops in the leaves of a dictionary
Logging a litany of logical liberties
Letting the lemons elope in your limousine
Linguistic littering, lazily writ
Less likely to leave me labelled as lit
Lift up the lid and you plainly can tell
Clearly, I’m really just taking the L

Blimey, you’re still here! Wow!
Didn’t think you’d make it up until I slowed down
Thanks for humouring my stupor of a flow
You've been super and I know that you all wanna go now
Just a smidgeon of revision and some little new additions
As I fix up all the bits that the original was missing
Reenvisaging felt fitting as we hit upon the million
Thanks for giving it a listen to revisit the beginning
I appreciate I’ve kept you for some time
Without boobs or a reference to gun crime
I’ve tweaked the beats and I added some fun rhymes
But I need to concede it’s still lacking a punchline

[IronDino]

So, I tend to watch my videos in accelerated time,
But had to slow it down, when you hit the overdrive.
Normally, 1.5, I can easily comprehend,
But even at x1, you nearly sent me round the bend.
So salutations, congratulations, for hitting that one mil,
Cuz you sure look Sisyphean, getting up atop that hill.
Still you made it, and unjaded, your trek inspired more,
Now all that's left to wonder, what next you have in store.

[galladegamerletsplays]

you're the only one who can make a rap about how you're bad at rapping and make it better than 90% of the raps out there. 1, 000, 000 is an incredible achievement and you absolutely deserve every single subscriber you get. You're the one that inspired me to write my own songs. Though, not a single one is out yet...unlike you, I really AM an amateur wordsmith...maybe below that. Who knew it would be so hard to make clever puns about a deer?

[TheAdvertisement]

"Yeah this scheme don't really work now that I'm enby" SENT ME
Congrats again on 1mil Stupes!

[ArtoriaZz]

I know you read those quite often so i hope your see this, comedy wise it's a banger decision to look so scrungly in the vid, "sit and swivel on my lyrical juxtaposition" with that god awful, way too bright lighting, way too big coat, tacky rings, smolpendium on the finger and disheveled hair is absolute art. You can't get this anywhere else. We reached the peak and there is nowhere else to go.

Also lip syncing with different measuring takes is so smooth nobody kinda registered those. Almost didn't too. Just hands down impressive.

[LessThanLazarus]

Congratulations mate :)
I remember the first time watching Amateur Wordsmith, and I still go back to it every now and again.
You've earned a spot in the hearts of over a million people

[blueeytak]

Im so glad this was made. You’ve done a stupendous job as usual

[ChestersonJack]

Oh I'm a sucker for sequels and updated redos, but this is absolutely blowing me away! Congratulations on the 1 million, Stupes, I'm happy to be part of it. You're an inspiration to me when it comes to what you create, and it's amazing to see how far you've come.

[kween]

I'll give money when I have it! XD hahaha
I watched the original one and it's incredible to see how you improved over the years.

I'm not a big fan of rap, but your rap style just got me. I'm happy to find your channel :3 ❤

[seekersofthelostrpgtipsand]

Hey stupes I just wanted to let you know as anouther enby person… thank you for just being you🎉

[ethangibson]

It is now my personal head cannon that they are a member of the Q continuum that came to the early 21st century Earth and decided to make great music just for the heck of it.

[CaptainKillroy]

2016. Wow. I remember watching your Art of Darkness video and being so si enamored by it that I watched the next one. And then the next. This here is my list in no personal order.
Tune Into The Madness
No Ones Home
The Ribbon
Room for Improvement
Art of Darkness
And finally, Fiend Like Me.

There's probably a lot more but those are the only ones that come to mind. Regardless, awesome job

[slasher]

You truly deserve every subscriber you have. You are far beyond an amateur wordsmith, that's for sure. You were actually one of the ones who got me into nerdcore in the first place, and I'm happy to say I was part of the crowd during your performance at NPC last year. Keep doing what you're doing my good man.

[Ketala]

You know, I've been Unbelievably Stupid for a long time, and this has inspired me to become Impossibly Stupid. Thank you for making my life quite a lot happier. Congratulations, you have more than earned this YouTube achievement and much more. Stupendous amounts of love always,

Ketala

[jellaycompf]

THIS IS SO GOOD!! IM SO FREAKING EXCITED RN, 2024 IS 100% GONNA BE YOUR YEAR WITH THE WAY ITS GOING SO FAR 🥳🥳❤️❤️❤️

[smugdodofart]

the way the lyrics flow so smoothly while telling a story i don’t know anything about music but this is FIRE

[itsMrToast]

THIS IS SO GOOD :DD

thank you for being so word at goods.

[milly]

Oh my Lord that was incredible!! I can only dream of even being able to speak half as fast, nevermind actually rapping alliteratively!
Congrats on the 1 million subs, you definitely deserve it! 💞

[ARTSONICFAN]

Love the Fresh Prince Of Bel Air reference. Congrats on 1 million.

[bitman]

Congradualtions I Loved the original and this version congrats once again