Being Good: The Fantasy of Being Rescued and Treasured

What do you fantasize about when you are being good, saintly, dutiful? I bet you want to be noticed and applauded for doing right and being good. But sometimes if you have felt unwanted, unrecognized and unimportant most of your life, being good becomes a much bigger deal. What you really fantasize about is about being rescued from your living hell of invisibility.

The rescue fantasy goes something like this: if I am good and do what I'm told; if I take care of others at my expense; if I sacrifice myself for my loved ones, THEN they will feel me - I'll become attractive and mean something to them. They won't let me suffer ever again. I won't have to live in this tortuous world. They will rescue me and keep me in their loving embrace for ever.

That was the fantasy on which Ian in my book lived his life like so many others who from early life have felt insignificant and defeated in their attempts to be loved. They turn to self-sacrifice hoping to be rescued from the flames of burning desire to be wanted.

copyright Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D. 2022

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Are you accepting clients? This is my exact life experience