CROC: this movie altered my brain chemistry

edited by @jakeshotfriend

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[MiaVilleneuve]

that little girl saw a whole ass crocodile and was completely unfazed just said "hi crocodile" as if she swims by em every day

[HawkOni]

I love the implications of saying the crocodile “murdered” those people instead of “killed”. Croc is to be held accountable in a court of law

[TheLarBear]

Jack sounds like he might be from America, The UK, Australia, and South Africa. Like he just lived in each place for a week.

[raininess]

Wait, they set the croc up as "the most sexually aggressive of all reptiles" early on and then the croc is NOT at the strip club? What were the writers thinking?

[jklroxmysox]

The fact that the croc seamlessly moves between fresh water, the ocean, and a chlorinated swimming pool is my favorite part.

[DaemonMunkir]

the fact that baby crocs DO sound like lasers is my favorite thing

[SP-wpsx]

The crocodile did NOT want to see that guy in a while

[rsg]

i love how this movie is basically just a low-budget, croc version of jaws

[grimdarkmalarkey]

Fun archosaur fact! Crocodiles, along with alligators, caimans, and gharials, are great parents!!! They'll bury their eggs and then guard that nest until they hatch! And once the babies do hatch, the mother (and sometimes the father) will watch over them for a couple of years! They'll let the babies climb on them and even carry them in their mouth! Also, baby gators sound like star wars blasters!!!

So if you hear one going off in the middle of a swamp, you better get the heck outta there before an angry parent swims over and rearranges your soon to be corpse.

Also, alligators can climb fences. Like, they can just straight-up scale them.

EDIT: I have learned a pretty important archosaur fact from the comments! I inaccurately stated that you should zigzag when running away from a hangry primordial swamp beast, but that's apparently not what you're supposed to do! So don't do that.

[theflickchick]

Movie: *Croc*
Characters: *talk about crocodiles*
Danny: *Alligator*

[extract]

“Not until I’ve had my morning coffee!” Daniel clearly has entirely completed the transformation process of becoming a father.

[bluetongueskink]

Im a zoologist! baby crocs do actually sound like that sometimes, but only when they're specifically calling for their mum :) making that sound there as a distress call doesn't make any sense :) iirc it's mostly cuban crocodiles (not saltwater crocs) who make that noise, and it's generally an excited 'omg mum is giving us food' sound, or a 'hey mum where are you' but it's not a distress call.
the baby crocs in the footage are the wrong species as well

[SpartanXVII]

It “took” a kid. Pretty sure it ate the whole kid in one bite. There’s no dastardly crocodile somewhere holding a child in chains somewhere in his undersea basement.

[emiliamaria]

The random bad fake Australian accents really add to the experience of the film 😭

[aleenawaqar]

one month since this video came out and I'm still upset danny didn't say “my bones are getting squishy” at 7:08

[lilyjade]

I was an extra in a low budget horror movie a few weeks ago. It was a funeral scene and we were told to converse amongst ourselves about the dead guy, who hung himself. It was me and this old lady standing in this cemetery saying the same “it’s just so tragic” and “his poor family” for like 5 takes it was hilarious honestly

[Kxyla_]

A movie about a crocodile being mad at fisherman for bombing it and a movie about dancing teenagers being directed by the same person is possibly the funniest thing i’ve ever heard

[evechabot]

I can't believe Danny didn't comment on the hilarious 'pretend to be making out by moving your arms around your back' move at 6:46, major elementary school throwback

[budgetincrease]

PLEASE stop asking him to talk about Cody. He’s unfollowed him, clearly he doesn’t feel like protecting him. He’s also mentioned that he’s been staying off social media as much as possible, he’s a new father, he has more important things to do. Instead of pressuring creators that have nothing to do with the crime, we should support the actual victim!!

[trevor_r]

14:35 is so funny because the actors were clearly told "your friend just died and you're mourning him" meanwhile he's still screaming and being dragged away for another couple minutes