Verbatim: What Is a Photocopier? | Op-Docs

In this dramatization of transcripts from a legal deposition, a lawyer becomes embroiled in an absurd argument about the definition of a photocopier.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Want more from The New York Times?

Whether it's reporting on conflicts abroad and political divisions at home, or covering the latest style trends and scientific developments, New York Times video journalists provide a revealing and unforgettable view of the world. It's all the news that's fit to watch. On YouTube.

Verbatim: What Is a Photocopier? | Op-Docs

[warped_rider]

An argument so absurd it could have only happened in real life.

[kiyomiku]

This can be a great commercial for xerox, with a punch line "it's not a photocopying machine, it's a xerox."

[quelorepario]

The Onion will go bankrupt if reality keeps catching up

[ChilledfishStick]

I've watched it quite a few times, read the transcript, and researched a bit about this case. I'm not a lawyer, but this deposition is really fascinating.
I try to ignore the presentation, because it is a dramatization. What I've noticed is that every time Mr. Marburger, the lawyer taking the deposition changed the phrasing of the questions, there was always a way for the recorder's office employee to weasel out of answering by claiming that he can't recall, doesn't understand, etc. I think that the phrasing was deliberate, that Mr. Marburger wanted to give the employee an out, so he could show how the witness was willing to play games, and to milk it as much as he thought was needed. When he was done milking, he phrased it in a way which didn't allow for more games.


I know from an interview that Marburger was in fact very happy let it drag on. That he saw the value in 6 pages of games, and that he wasn't mad at all. On the contrary, this was the best outcome.

[MrShoe]

This is probably the single greatest punchline to any comedy video ever.

[JacobTheLoofah]

Two years later and it's still the bet punchline of all time

[akraut]

Sometimes I return to this video because it helps me feel better about my own sanity. My two favorite quotes:

"I understand that there are photocopying machines and there different types of them, just like there are different cars. Some of them run under gas power, and some under electric power."

And the one I've tried to work into real life as often as possible, "If you feel stupid, it's not because I'm making you feel that way."

[gwpmason]

The employee was clearly briefed by the corporate attorney to avoid answering the question in principle!

[idontwantgoogleusingmyreal]

I could easily picture John Malkovich playing the part of the attorney conducting the deposition.

[a]

This is one of the greatest things I've ever watched...

I especially love the interjection by the frustrated lawyer: "NO!? Not sure of that?"

[RandomCarrot]

Great video to show witnesses or people testifying what not to do under oath. If it looks like you are dodging a question, being obtuse or otherwise trying to be manipulative it turns the jury or the judge against your side. People really take issue with deceptive behavior, especially in a court of law.

[TheZgraham]

Can we get a series of these? This was hilarious

[BurgerSliderMan]

I come back to this every few months. Probably the best modern story ever told.

[roosterdawggwoof]

A few weeks ago I went to the courthouse to clarify a property tax issue.  The Assessor's office sent me to the Clerks office that sent me to the Treasurer's office to get copies of five pages of documentation, at $1 per page, to take back to the Assessors office and by the time I got out of the courthouse I had a $10 parking ticket for exceeding my time limit!

[NoahFroio]

OMG! That was absolutely brilliant; I was actually expecting him to say 'mimeograph'; however, that may be aging myself...

[abtin]

This is so accurate it's crazy. I've been in depos like this with witnesses just as evasive as this guy.

[SapientGalaxy]

God, I love all of the performances, but the stenographer is great. She doesn't say a word, but you can tell all of her emotions.

[LaLunaLlena_ATx]

The fact that this isn't scripted makes it even more hilarious!

[peterraven]

This is my favorite short film. Met the makers a couple years ago at a film festival.

[caw]

And in that moment, the funniest line in the world was
"Xerox."