How to Create Space For Yourself In a Relationship | Relationship Theory

Do you ever feel like you need more space for yourself in your relationship? Taking time for ourselves may seem selfish, as though we're avoiding our partner. But needing space from your partner doesn't mean, "I don't love you." In this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down and share how they balance time alone and time together to strengthen their relationship. Now you have the chance to learn easily what they had to learn with great difficulty to make their relationship last for over 20 years. After watching this episode, you'll know the selfish time you shouldn't take that damages most relationships. How Lisa and Tom balance their selfish time and time together to make their relationship work. The critical question to ask to understand why you need selfish time. You learn how Lisa talks to herself to stop escalating an argument and why it's essential to understand why you need time for yourself.


SHOW NOTES:

The selfish time you shouldn´t take that damages most relationships. [00:47]
How Lisa and Tom balance their selfish time and time together to make their relationship work. [1:26]
Two universal things everyone needs in any relationship. [1:57]
The critical question to ask to understand why you need selfish time. [2:16]
This is when Lisa needs to take selfish time and why Tom´s strategy doesn´t help her at that moment. [2:29]
How Lisa talks to herself to stop escalating an argument. [4:00]
Why it´s essential to understand the reason you need time for yourself. [4:59]


QUOTES:

“Everyone needs selfish time. I think that is universal and everybody needs time together. The balance you have to find for yourself. From my perspective, it seems extremely dangerous to want a very significant amount of time.” [1:57]

“Never have we ever got into an argument and argued and pushed each other to the point of solving it. We usually have to bring our guards back down. We have to hear the other person....It´s the separation of bringing down the guards.” [4:00]


FOLLOW TOM:

FOLLOW LISA:

[RelationshipTheory]

What relationship questions do you want to ask Tom and Lisa? Share them below!

[bluegrasspicker]

It took me 44 yrs to understand that. Thank You for sharing. Shine On Friends

[stephaniechen]

Could you guys do an in-depth video on what exactly being emotional sober means and what that entails and how to know when to bring up tough conversations? Also a video on relationship rules and a more in-depth video on what you guys mean when you talk about defining terms in your relationship

[TakeBackYourMind]

I think you just have to have a calm discussion when you're both emotionally neutral about how independent you are as individuals and how you're gunna make that work together, ideally early on in the relationship, making it clear in that conversation that your need for me time isn't a reflection of them.

[AhmetKaan]

"The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to failure."

*― John C. Maxwell*

Failures are the only way to success.

[davehelmVO]

1st by the way. I have introduced you two to someone and I enjoy using this information for the next step with my partner.

[velocitygirl]

I feel like everyone needs me time. It’s a an oxygen mask thing, but you guys are responding to FIGHTING and needing space before solving. I don’t think you answered the question.

[Dr_Kokisha]

You have an urgency to resolve problem only to feel better, because you have anxiety when someone is feeling bad, you are dependent of their emotions.
You are insecure and trying to fix it so you could now feel well when the other person feels well.
I know that problem, it is actually insecurity and anxiety, it is putting other people before you and feeling the way they feel.
Which is bad for men, because girls will feel 10000 different emotions through the day so you should feel centered and calm, not reactive and trying to fix it.
What is wrong with someone feeling bad, you cannot resolve it just do your thing and if they want to talk and clear things up then you can participate.
The fear of losing someone and abandonment is pretty strog and that is a core in trying to fix the problem right away or making someone feel better, fear.