【Oliver】 Amygdala's Rag Doll 【Original Song】

Original upload date: October 19, 2016

wow this sure was a song

i uploaded it on the same day as exorcism by creep-p! they're not related at all i just find that fun fact to be a fact that is fun

i don't really have much to say about this song from the future to be honest..... looking back on it, like, boy, that sure is a song alright, i guess,

i need to use oliver again sometime. he hasn't really fit anything i've recently made though..

--

[honeyswann]

For those who don’t know, the amygdala is a part of the brain that makes anxiety, well go do it’s thing . It’s one of the main culprits for anxiety and the rag doll is you. Sometimes anxiety can take over you and many of the lyrics here reflect the effects of anxiety and how it feels like having it. Hope this helps

[yourgal_crazyangel]

"I can't inhale anymore"
Ah yes
*asthma*

[Stop.Turn.Leave.]

Updated list of words and their meanings along with some lyric explanations:

• Iodine - the 53rd element on the periodic table. Iodine is used in medical alcohol and iodized salts.

• Inexplicable - something unable to be explained. Synonyms with unaccountable

• Unaccountable - something unable to be explained. Synonyms with inexplicable

• Vexatious - difficult to deal with and causing lots distress; troublesome, annoying

• Amygdala - the section of the brain responsible for your Fight-Flight-Freeze response. It controls emotions like fear, sadness, aggression, and pleasure; The Amygdala helps in the processing of memories, decision making, and emotional responses

• Autonomy - the ability to make informed and uncoerced decisions for yourself.

• Mutilate - to permanently damage a being (be it human or animal) to the point of limbs or parts being removed.

• Cauterize - burning or freezing a wound in order to stop bleeding or infection. This burning can be done with fire, a hot iron, or chemicals.

• Supplication - the act of begging or asking a god for something humbly or earnestly

• Ichor - the fluid in place of blood in a god; poetically used in reference to the blood of humans and animals; watery discharge from a wound

• Frontal Lobe - the "control center" of the brain. It's connected to our ability to have voluntary movement, to speak, and to problem-solve. It is also responsible for your personality, emotional expression, memories and their formation, and ability to make judgement; the part of the brain the controls high-level cognitive skills and primary motor functions.

• Mend - to repair what was broken

• Discord - the lack of agreement and harmony; chaos; conflict; disharmony

• Trypo - riddled with holes. Trypophobia is the fear of things riddled with holes.

• Tourniquet - a strip of fabric, cord, or bandage that is tied tightly to a limb in order to cut off blood circulation to said limb. It is used in emergency situations to stop life-threatening external bleeding


So how do some of these words apply to the song?

• "Iodine words" = "stinging/burning words"

• "Vexatious, my Amygdala that I can't do a thing about" could refer to Amygdala hijacking, which is when the Amygdala overreacts to a situation and causes panic and distress. His Amygdala is acting out "twenty-four" meaning non-stop, 24/7.

• "From losing my autonomy, a mutilated part of me" lack of autonomy, taken away by his Amygdala

• "From the mouth of the cauterized rag doll..." He sounds like he's closing wounds with fire.

• "Supplications to leave him alone" Either begging to himself or his mind to stop

• "Throw the nails away and leave him alone" The wounds I mentioned before feel like self-caused ones caused by a skin picking disorder, hence the holes. The nails mentioned would be his actual nails, not metal ones like the doll in the music video shows.

• "Pull my strings and swallow ichor" He talks about himself like he's a rag doll during the first half of the song until his frontal lobe "puts [him] behind [his] own strings". When you pull the strings of a doll, the doll falls apart and the stuffing comes out. The human equivalent of this, "Pull my skin and swallow ichor", makes it more clear what he's doing.

• "My Frontal Lobe put me behind my own strings" He's able to think clearer now despite the Amygdala overreacting. He's gained some autonomy back.

• "Waiting for the world to burn, waiting for the holes to close now" the fire and burning in the song might be a metaphor for guilt and other strong emotions. "Waiting for the world to burn" = "Waiting for the guilt/sadness/anger from reopening a wound to pass". "Waiting for the holes to close now" is self-explanatory.

• "The fire and I, alone again. The guilt and I, alone again." makes me wonder if the fire mentioned throughout the song is real or just a metaphor like him calling himself a rag doll is.

• "The fire burns and the rags are torn apart." Guilt/burning emotions rises and rags, aka skin, is torn again.

• "So say my limbs are torn apart and the stuffing falls out? The toy should've never been wound. I never meant any harm." Feels self-explanatory.

• "And I can't inhale/exhale anymore" could go either way. Either it's because of an actual fire or it's because of guilt and an intense emotional reaction due to the Amygdala issue.

• "Trypo-puppeteer" = "Hole-riddled puppeteer"

[ApparitionCondition]

Honestly as someone with C-PTSD, I feel like this song hits close to home with how it makes my brain operate. The constant fear, and flips of emotion from scared to angry, causing you to do harmful things to yourself or others but you feel you can’t control it.

[not-charley]

"I'll say it again, I'm only getting worse"

-My grades after months of quarantine and online school starts

[daisukirai]

"Fire burns"
Me: Yeah sometimes it just does that.

[ElliotisFANTA-stic]

The fact that exactly 5 years ago, when i was sleeping this song popped up on my tv even though my mom was sleeping and the tv wasn't on, and i see this song again is literatlly terrifying for me

[idkbro-duo]

0:32 where the doll (the one singing) says "vexatious, *my amygdala* " he words amygdala as something he has, instead of it being the name of the doll's owner or something like that. The amygdala is a part of the brain thats associated with "anxiety, aggression, fear conditioning, emotional memory, and social cognition", while vexation is "something that causes annoyance and the state of mind that results from being annoyed"

The jumble of letters doesn’t seem to be the url. Going through the sections frame by frame, the letters seem to look more like random symbols if anything.

[frownyclowny]

Fun fact: The amygdala is responsible for the Flight, Fight, and Freeze responses. And during such an event the frontal lobe -which is responsible for advanced memory and cognitive thoughts- becomes “numb” and has a harder time retaining memory and acting rationally in the moment.
Or at least, that’s how it works with me and my stupid brain.

[autism_gaming]

song:"i cant inhale anymore!"
the song two seconds later:*heavy breathing*

[ZoeyXPepper]

Oliver: *coughs*

The house he's currently inside: *Burns down*

Oliver: SHI-

[ktostam]

I feel like this song is about having an anxiety attack after a traumatic experience you blame yourself for. "I can't exhale/inhale" - during panick attacks it's hard to breathe. It's also hard to breathe if you are crying for quite a while. "The guilt and me alone again" "I never meant any harm" - guilt of the traumatic experience. Or, guilt of attacking someone while having a panick attack in the past. "Swallow ichor" - swallow tears? And the "puppeteer". The puppeteer might be trauma and anxiety taking control of your life. "1, 2, 3" - counting to calm yourself down. The begging of the song starts slowly, creeply. Then it gets fast, hard to sing. Then it's almost chaotic. Then it suddenly calms down in the very end, still fast, but it ends. The singer started to calm down, and the attack ended.

[keyboard]

I played this on ×2 speed, and my almonds have


*a c t i v a t e d*

[RiqyRiq]

My theory : The song is singing about realising that they had abusive parents.

Vexatious, my amygdala -> The doll finds the feelings of being scared worthless

The tricks and trivials of every 24 -> the doll finds their parents abusing them a game and how life is supposed to be played like that. The "game" is being played 24/7

Maybe you could turn it down a little more -> The doll getting tired of the game

All I've ever knew before were clusters of holes -> The holes represents the emptiness of life [holes are usually empty]

An eye for an eye, that's how the game works -> If the doll did something bad towards their parents, their parents will do the same back

I'm losing my autonomy -> The doll realised it is losing control of their own life

I defy the way the game works -> The doll doesn't like how life is played

it's only getting worse -> Their parents abuse have not subsided

Throw the nails away -> The doll asks the listener to forget anything happened
(the doll probably did something bad)

Supplications to leave him alone -> The doll is begging for the listener to not snitch

I don't know where the thoughts are coming from -> The dolls actions were purely impulsive

Pull my strings -> This describes the doll's parents controlling them

Swallow ichor -> The doll's parents are gaining power over them

Fire burns -> Representing the pain of their parents abusing them

And the rags are torn apart -> The doll's sanity the being torn apart

I can't inhale anymore -> The dall is slowly losing their sanity

All I ever knew were holes -> The doll thinks that life is empty and meaningless

[Courruptedkat]

He’s creepy, terrifying, and I’m sure he watches you as you sleep.



I LOVE HIM

[fish]

Oliver: I can't inhale anymore
Me trying to sing along: *I can't either, bro, I can't either.*

[haruyoi]

Lyrics　歌詞

I hide
I hide
In iodine words
It’s something inexplicable
It’s something unaccountable
I cry
I cry
When anything hurts
Vexatious, my amygdala that I can’t do a thing about

The tricks and trivials of every twenty-four
Maybe you could tone it down a little more
And I
And I
Dunno
Oh, all I ever knew before
Were clusters of holes

An eye for an eye
That’s how the game works
In losing my autonomy
A mutilated part of me
And I defy the way the game works
Between you and me,
It’s only getting worse

From the mouth of a cauterized rag doll
Supplications to leave him alone
From the mouth of the cauterized rag doll
Throw the nails away and leave him alone

I don't know where the thoughts are coming from
Pull my strings and swallow ichor
Fire burns and the rags are torn apart
I can’t inhale anymore
‘Cus all I ever know are holes

Today something changed
I figured it’s true
The frontal lobe placed me behind my own strings
‘Cus I defy the way the game works
I’ll say it again, I’m only getting worse

The dull assumptions that I’ve tasted decency
Waiting for the embers to lose their glow
And I, and I dunno
Oh, all I’ve ever seen before were clusters of holes

Waiting for the world to burn
Waiting for the holes to close, now
Waiting for the world to burn
Waiting for the holes to close, now

I can’t see the holes in my memories
The fire and I, alone again
The guilt and I, alone again
(Waiting for the world to burn
Waiting for the holes to close, now
Waiting for the world to burn
Waiting for the holes to close, now)

Say we take what had been torn apart
Say we mend any patchwork discord
Turning eyes to the trypo-puppeteer
I can’t exhale anymore

So,
One two three, and we’ll tie the tourniquet
Pull my skin and swallow ichor
Fire burns and the rags are torn apart
I can’t inhale anymore

Day by day and day after day
I’m causing trouble anyway
Pull the fire alarm
I never meant any harm, never meant any harm

Well,
Say my limbs are torn apart
And all the stuffing falls out
Let the toy wind down
It should’ve never been wound

I never meant any harm

Say we take what had been torn apart
Say we mend any patchwork discord
Turning eyes to the trypo-puppeteer
Waiting for the world to burn

So,
One two three, and we’ll tie the tourniquet
Larvae eating away at everything
Word goes ‘round, I’m the trypo-puppeteer
Laugh along, I’m spreading holes

Now I know this has always been my fault, and I can’t inhale anymore

[Beatle_Babe]

Fun fact: my friend listens to this song for an hour on loop every day to get in the mood to write very unhinged and mildly concerning stories

[TheRemixer]

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[sleepparalysisdemon.]

I actually used to listen to this song for hours when I was younger.