my first booktube video 🫣 did I read everything from my first book haul?

welcome to emmie (remastered). today we're going back in time to see what my first booktube video was like!

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[princessmary]

started tearing up when u said “she is gonna think it’s her fault” god i want to hug young emma, and also want to hug u, for u are so strong for overcoming all the challenges u had in ur life at that time. i love u 🥺🤍

[aca_]

Seeing you mourn your past self was incredibly bittersweet to watch. I developed an autoimmune disease about 4 years ago now and I still think back to the before often. It is hard to look at your healthier, happier, naive self knowing what you are going to go through and how much it changed you and your life. I think that is the hardest part. Knowing how something like that is the impetus for such personal change (but also hopefully, some growth in spite of it all).

[mairavelasquez]

yes to the video about making a TBR with your oldest books you haven't yet read 💌🐛

[AuroraJadefyre]

the creases in that Dune spine are so aesthetic you'd think they were part of the design lol

[Rarias]

“We are other, no longer what we were before the calamity of yesterday” Samuel Beckett. Huge hug for old Emma and also one for ‘today’ Emma.

[laranucifera]

I remember discovering your channel during quarantine and ended up going way back and watching all of your videos from the VERY beginning. Watching your videos was the highlight of my quarantine🤍

[benlewis]

I’m imagining past Emma living in an alternate timeline, sweltering under the hot Egyptian sun on an archaeological dig brushing dirt off of ancient bones.

[lputube]

You’re being a little hard on past Emma! She was an adorable gem! I binge watched all her videos after randomly seeing one of her first ones pop up and have never ever stopped watching. So proud of her and you and it’s been an absolute pleasure watching you grow! Love you so much! XOXO

[itsailuo]

I know how important and emotional this video was to you Emma. It is truly very hard to look back at yourself years back, and see how things changed, many of which were entirely out of your control.
You are so brave, and your bravery helps me keep going to. I am so happy i came across you, you have no idea how much you affected me, im always waiting for your uploads. Thank you, and I am proud of the Emma with us today <3

[maeiscompletelyfine]

Hey Emma, not sure if you remember me but I've been an avid viewer even before you reached 100 subscribers, I think. I've seen all your old videos. They're endearing, sincere. It was in 2019, I was fresh out of college, armed only with my English literature degree, nursing a broken heart, trying to figure out my place in the world. Fast forward to today and it's been nearly two years since I left my first job as an instructor teaching literature to wide-eyed young adults. I'm about to graduate law school in a year or so. I love growing up and loving reading alongside you! I always felt at home in this corner of the internet. Luv this community. Thank you, Emma. All the love, Mae

[Bassynater]

Only 9 min in, seeing you tear up seeing your past self and knowing the life that was to come. If that ain’t a dang feeling 🥺 you’ve created a wonderful community through reading and books so I hope you look back fondly but are also able to see your now and be proud of everything you’ve done regardless of any adversity’s you faced! 😊 you rock and thanks for kindling a desire in me to read more and more!

[danielacalderon]

You know, back then, when you told us about your concussion, I didn't understood why you felt kinda down with all the symptons. Recently I was diagnosed with a chronic illness in my brain, and now I completely understand where your pain seeing your past self comes from. But you did so much amazing stuff ever since, and thank you for being the kind friend of the internet who also likes books

[olena_]

love u emma! using first comment privileges to say.. i'd love a podcast where you go more in-depth on your favourite books or tell us funny stories about your cats or give writing advice or anything. i'd tune the hell in.

[iris-vuwk]

As always, I appreciate the candid discussion on brain injury and how it has impacted your life. I remember last year when I was stuck in bed and in a similar situation to how you were, only able to listen to audiobooks and deal with brain fog and fatigue, you genuinely helped me feel less alone. We all deserve so much compassion for ourselves, it is such a shame that so often we can only give it to ourselves in hindsight.

[eproudfoot]

Oh Emma! I completely recognize those emotions welling up. I’m a couple years older than you and also majored in English, at U of T. I had undiagnosed hypothyroidism for my entire undergrad, and it meant I couldn’t have the “university experience” that we all dream of. I felt like I was the problem instead of honouring my needs. And I really resented what I had “missed out on” for the longest time. But we all have our unique paths, and yours has been beautiful ❤️

[celescoles]

I have my blog from my high school years still online and I sometimes go back and read stuff there. (I'm 32 years old now.) I am just so happy that I didn't delete that blog like I almost did a couple of times in college. I have so much love for that girl and also it is amazing to see how much some things changed and how much some things stayed absolutely the same. I love my life and who I am right now, that's why I have so much love for every version of me that led me to current me. I am glad you could experience that too. Huge hugs to all versions of you from all versions of me!

[nickele]

You've got to start somewhere, and that was a good start! It's cool to see how much your videos have evolved, but there was already so much she did well! Sending hugs to both Emmas <3

[dreamingfolkore]

i will not allow any slander for young emma! she was so so lovely please 😭💘

[InkInsight]

Now Emma mimicking young Emma is pure fun! Let's have them together more often, haha. But seriously, Emma, even though you don't know me, you've always been there—through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I'm truly grateful to you, this channel, and this wonderful community! Here's to more power to you and everyone ❤️

[marianacruz]

alternate versions of my past self are always haunting me so seeing this and seeing you mourn for little emma back then made me really emotional, i too suffered from a brain injury and can understand how much it can affect you long term, you're really strong, much love emma ❤