For People Who Are Hard To Love

Second channel

🔰Communities

🔰References

-The thumbnail is a painting by Jen Mazza

-The narrator is Melissa Varela

-The music is this:
LO.OSE - Summer Depression

🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
GX80
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens

🔰Hard To Love by illneas

I remember feeling happy when I was folding your clothes
The shadow of my fingers tracing my unfinished dreams in the morning sun

I remember a broken candle from a past birthday,
A confetti piece from your graduation,
A picture of you with your mother

I remember you telling me to open up and heal
I use my heartstrings to stitch my mouth and I scream in artistic expression

I remember you trying to find the courage to kiss me
Just to share the metallic taste of blood on my lips

I remember that summer
Your fingers scribbling poems on my back

I remember feeling happy with the salt on my skin
It's impossible to feel ugly with your invisible ink on my body

I remember you begging me to go to therapy
While I was bending ideas to justify my ego
Thinking the canvas of life could be manipulated by the world's smartest idiot

I remember watching you petting cats
It's impossible to feel sad with a cat between your legs

I remember talking to you about the poems I never wrote
Poetry seems pointless when you know me that well
I remember laughing at your silly comments

I remember that night
Telling me that you are afraid of change
I remember when I told you that I need to distance myself from you

I remember your eyes
You looked away to hide your vulnerability from me
I can't forget that silence

You think I have a broken heart
While I'm sure I'm just a broken person

You think I hide behind my poems
While I'm trying to convince myself that I exist

You think I lost myself in the maze of my memories
While I'm afraid of forgetting how it feels to fold your clothes

[naturenerd_mk]

"Just to share the metallic taste of blood on my lips" this line is so beautiful, in other words sharing my pain and turning it into melody

[alifewithpoetry]

“It’s impossible to feel ugly with your invisible ink on my body” —- aww, I love this line so much. Beautiful poem and production❤️

[rubylock]

I’m not sure if I’m hard to love, or if I just have a hard time accepting love

[chandramoulimukhopadhyay]

To all the people who find that the world isn't loving or caring enough, here's a hug. May peace be with you.

[cookienut]

Having people who know us read the poem is worse than a stranger reading them, just like how you'd rather have an unknown person see you naked and never see them again than having a person you've always known see it. And this often makes people think that poems are big fat lies manifested by a person to manipulate strangers to have a certain view about the writer and to feel a certain emotion. But in reality, I believe, poems are just the deepest raw truth that resides in a person, very raw that it might not even have any connection with the world they live in but it still happens to exist within them. And just so, it is beautiful.

[lefortbeatrice]

✨... Existing through poems... That's another whole level of feelings...what makes us exist and maybe poems are our way to hide as well ✨

[MarshallCake]

1:12 this bit reminded me of Siken's "Sorry about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine" but this time the other person kiss their bloody mouth. Alluding to wanting to understand their suffering, share the weight of it, and maybe, kiss the pain away.

Such a beautiful poem, thank you 🖤

[gkakak]

“…thinking that the canvas of life could be manipulated by the world’s smartest idiot”. Hardcore stuff

[divinelyh]

"You think I have a broken heart while I'm sure I'm just a broken person "
Your poems will always be special to me thnx. 💜

[mkscripturient]

“poetry seems pointless when you know me that well”
illneas, this is absolutely gorgeous. this masterpiece resonates so much with me and is one of your most phenomenal works!

[greyheart]

"Those hardest to love need it most. "
From the song Fools by Lauren Aquilina

[Starletjewels-co]

"you think i hide behind my poems
When I'm trying to convince myself i exist"- the urge to cry after this line. How can you create such masterpieces!? :")

[adityainamdar]

"you think I lost myself in maze of memories " it does hit on different levels ;)

[kestrelfeather]

I'm one of those 'hard to love'. I guess that is why I live alone, writing poem after poem, singing all those sad songs, feeling like there is little hope in the world. Just hard to love that sort of being. Thanks for posting your excellent videos. Cheers!

[santiago]

"A beautiful poem that warms the heart and gives us a a glimpse of the author's mind" 10/10 _A random youtube pal_

[its_leyl.a]

I use my heartstrings to stitch my mouth
And I scream in artistic expression

That is so beautiful 🖤🖤

[StrikerCup]

“just trying to convince my self i still exist” the way this sentence burst me into tear is i am trying to live a normal life, trying to upgrade my confidence more, being happy, living peacefully, building my social ability, accepting my fate and changing my point of view then suddenly destroyed by 10 words and everything was lose because of those words.

[umadey]

The line where you said poems are your way of convincing that you exist when to others you're just hiding. I loved it so much, like you spoke what my heart felt all this time. I love to write specifically poems, they make me feel my existence and everything i feel in a moment which i don't know if i'll feel again. Its a way to secure my emotions, i say. Also when you wanna scream out your realities to the world but still hide it in a way, you opt for poems. At least that's what i think. This is why poems really make me happy. You can either know the reality of a person or just assume a different story that makes sense to you, without the truth of the person revealed, though you have read it. Its like you know the truth but still don't know it. Sorry for writing out so much, may be it will make sense to some.

[sifatbinntesaiif]

"While I was bending ideas to justify my ego"
That sentence hit me differently. I always have had so much ego surrounding me. But it is also true that once I begged someone to love me. Dear friends, never do that. Have the courage, have that enough ego for staying alone. Not everything of ego is bad.

[TheKenzVlogs]

"You think I lost myself in the maze of memories, while I'm afraid of forgetting" -- THIS.