why I quit chess

and also why I will play chess for the rest of my life probably :)

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[reidpattis]

Throughout the course of one's life, desire changes. Passion changes. Pursue those new desires. Then, if and when you do revisit chess, you'll see it in a new light and integrate that in a more beneficial way. I'm glad that you're going down the path of self-love and healing. I had to learn what you learned in a much harder way. All the best.

[RG]

Yeah, tying your self-worth to your output really makes it rough for the times your output just isn't great. I imagine it's significantly worse for people who have competed at the international level. It's good to see your health has improved since then.

[ovkxqli]

I once quit chess but when I saw hikari playing chess, everything came back. It's the first thing I learn when I was a child
Now I am playing it because I enjoy it.

[evoll]

I know exactly what you're talking about... I've also taken a break from chess and more recently from my job for those same reasons. I wish you the best, and know that you are not by yourself, many have crossed that path to get to where they are today and feel truly happy. Staying still in a bad situation is way worse. Cheers to you, to us all!

[kevinchen]

It's great thing you discover yourself so young. I went through 20s still lost and didn't find value in myself. Wish you the best.

[Claire-yzhx]

I was at the North America youth chess championship the day before with my daughter who is a player. It was hard to see how some kid broke down in the middle of a game, and some big kid cried that much after the game and volunteers had to call the parents. It’s truly hard and brutal to fight through the game for hours for kids who are only 7 or 8 years old. As a parent I only have respect for my daughter, her opponents and all the kids who put themselves out there, to fight and to be ranked. Lots of adults do not have that capability and courage. Salute!

[Loveinfinity]

Taking a break is good, dont work yourself into a depression.

[bobarmstrong]

Very well presented, of luck in your future endeavours, and I do hope the love of the game will keep you playing, at whatever level you choose. Thanks for sharing in this a bit to do this. Bob

[chetheflin]

Breaks are great. It was a great pleasure playing you as a subscriber, twice! You are a sweet soul and a joy to watch. Just keep streaming anything you are passionate about and your heart desires. :)

[jetBlues]

Hey Nemo, you're a one of a kind personality, and role model for many I'm sure- I'm pretty sure people like your authenticity, it's a form of brilliance. Keep up the great content and candor.

[denny]

As someone at the same age, it's inspiring to hear your experiences and what you can do. Having control on your life now and the community around you is equality as impressive as your chess skills. Hope you continue to grow!

[thirds]

As a fan I hope, that if you go back, you will be able to shift from goal oriented to quality oriented, it's so much healthier. Either way good luck and all the best to the biggest Polish streamer.

[KyleKabasares_PhD]

Glad you were able to recognize that you were feeling a bit burnt out and were starting to equate self-worth with success in tournaments, especially at that rather young age of 17! A lot of people wouldn’t be able to recognize that in themselves at that age, myself included.

I used to be similarly competitive with my grades in college, like how your arena was at the chessboard, mine was in the classroom. I always thought receiving the highest possible marks would make me happy, but I found out the hard way that success does not equal happiness, and I had to do a bit of soul-searching to find what mattered most to me in life.

I think with us competitive people, there’s this eternal need/desire to “prove ourselves” continuously by reaching for higher and higher achievements, which can be dangerous once we reach a certain limit or plateau of our abilities. For me, I found that just making more reasonable goals for improvement, stopping the comparisons I was having in my head between myself and others, and allowing myself to try new things and not to be discouraged at being “bad” at the start of a new skill or hobby has done wonders!

I’m super happy that you’ve decided to transition to doing Twitch and YouTube, and looking forward to all the future content!

[Piotr-weyg]

Sounds overwhelming. I hope you found way in life, that you enjoy ;)

[JacobScott]

I agree with you, it is crazy to base our worth on a game. I would go even further; it's crazy to base our worth on anything external to ourselves.

[tankoteemusic]

*I quit chess for about 9 months at one stage then got back into it. I found that I got a bit stronger (roughly 1800 to 2000) thanks to the break.*

[sayansingha]

Wow! Kudos for being so vulnerable in front of us! And best of luck in finding your happiness! ♥️

[martinblack]

I totally get where you are coming from. I got quite good at golf(lots of practise/playing and money). I got to the point of a 8 handicap. i found myself starting to not enjoy the game if i shot in the 80's. Would stew over mistakes and my competitive edge would throw me into a deep funk if i did not have 'my best' game! I learned to love the game again by throwing a few beers in my bag and going out with the lads for a laugh. The experience was not focused on the numbers....the experience was focused on breathing/relaxing, enjoying the vista of the course, soaking in nature and, once in a while, admiring a good shot. I learned to 'fall in love' with Golf all over again.

[xanbex]

"Know yourself and be free"...Lovely young woman ! Thanks 4 revealing your heart !

[makksi]

I wish you the best. Keep being that nice, sarcastic person :)