The Boy I Couldn't Save

Fajar asked us to make this video. It was more important to him than even a piano.

I hope you can feel through the screen a little of what it meant to us to be able to make this, even from such a distance.

I cannot express in words the thanks I give to the entire staff of We Love Reading (but most especially Lina and Mays), to my sister, to the government of Jordan and to every family who let us into their homes and allowed us to see their truth. We will never forget it.

This video was made possible thanks to our incredible Patreon subscribers: &pointer, A Tuttle, Ástráður Ísak Lárusson, adam lenk, Akasha Yi, Alan Camolinga, Alex boneck, Alex Papageorgiou, Alex Ross, Alex The Magical Cat, Alexander Lee, Alexander Reilly, Alf Einar Solberg, Alice LWatson, Allmightydregs, Almighty Bidoof, Amal Isaac, Ammobunny, Andrew, Andrew Beals, Andrew Larson, Anina Shaorandra, Arsalan N, Atsushi, Audrey Brown, Austin Cousineau, bajr, BattleGoat Studios, BeanoTheElder, Ben Hewitson, Benkei Paczek, Blacksun317, BlobyTwo, Bob Dai, Bradley Brown, Brenna and Peter, Brian ONeel, Brian Perkins, Bullseye89, Catherine Berry, Chien Lu Anderman, Chris, Christoph Hotep, Christopher Perrin-Porzondek, Christopher Simpkins, Cody Belichesky, Cody Schneider, Cole Skelton, Colin Miskowitz, CollapsingHrungDisaster, Colton Creasey, Curtis Shimamoto, Cynical Rhys, Daniel Sierra Matus, Daniel Tyler, David Badilotti, David James McConnell, David V, Douglas Danger Manley, Dustin Sysko, Dykam, Edward Sykes, Einar Holmedal, Elaine Kotenko, Elsilan, Emma, Eric Floehr, Erik Hoag, Eugene Pakhomov, Evan, f1r3w4rr10r, fadingnebula, fatsaxman, feo, Gabe Sockie, Ggamefreak22, Gilberto Hart, Giulian Fava, Gregory Kintz, Hollis Davis, Igor Stavchanskiy, Immanuel Rajan, J Neko, Jake Capoun, Jakob Ruder, Jan Vilhuber, Jean, Jeremy Impson, Jeremy Wheelis, Jessica Mayberry, Joe Brown, John and Tanya Hug, John Cline, John Goff, Jonathan Lonowski, Josh Hoppes, Juan Coronado, Julia, Julian Fiander, Justin Gregg, Justin Thomson, JustRus, Kameron Stroud, Karol Pilat, Keaton Keller, Kenny Coulter, Kush Patel, Kyle Hammer, Kyle Hofer, Lady Sixa, Lane & Kate Seppala, larry82, Lars Flöer, Lars Hjort Christensen, Lars Sturm, Lee, Lexi, Liam Gilles, Lilith Berkana De' Anu, Lillian Mark, Lorentz, Louis Lenders, Lukas, luketd, Marc Anderson, Martin Green, Matt, Matthew Barrett, Matthew Springer, Matthew Wallace, Max Poley, Melanie Sumner, Michael, Michael Abernathy, Michael Amesse, Miguel Martínez Chapa, Mike Frysinger, Mondoria, Mrburgerdon, Ms Tek, Muncorn, MysticCobra, Nancy Reid, Nathaniel, Nicholas Kraabel, Nick Grippo, NiordSir, NM, Noah Hawkes, Nuno Balbona Perez, Oliver Frommeier, Oliver 'Kannik' Bollmann, Ollie b, Pablo D Lopez, Pablo Rodriguez, Patrick Holdsworth, Paul Estella, Paul Hui, Peter Bjorvand, Peter Gravelle, Petr Doležal, Pjotr Bekkering, Pranav Maddula, Ricardo Machado, Rich Saber, Robert Velten, Rocky Yip, Roger L. Basler de Roca, Roger Hoffmore, Roger Wu, Ron Warris, Ronen Finegold, Ryan Breaker, Sabolc Jut, Sam Collins, Sam Rossetti, Scotty From Marketing, Sean Dennis, Sean McCool, Sergi Rincon, Shawn Wang Williams, Shikyo_The_Dragon, Shivan, SilliusSodus, Simon Bohnen, Simon Hannus, smaz ruby, Space_Chickun, Sriram Govindarajan, Stephen Bourne, Steve Sick, Steve Williamson, Svein Ove Aas, Symmetrymaster, Tedd, Theo Davis, Thomas, Thomas Paris, Tibor Galbács, Tim Barrett, Tob, Tobias B, Traxys, Ubikwitus, Varun Perumal, Vasserot, Viktor Lundell, Vitali Perchonok, Wes Mills, Whitefang, Will Mullins, Wu Jim, Xellos, Xenonfrenzy, Zach Preston, and ZZ. We love you guys!

Thanks for watching! You're clearly one of the good ones.

[fobbie]

This reminds me of when we were planning my class graduation trip. The main contender was a three week trip to Laos, or Vietnam, or wherever. It'd be two weeks helping in a village and a week of tourism.

The trip would have cost each person some $1000 - something like that. A few of us did the math.
Whatever village we went to would be helped, for sure, just not by us. Part of the trip fee was for the organization to actually help people more than a handful of highschool students would. Our presence would have been a negative - we would have eaten more food than we helped make. Math said giving an NGO $300ish each would have helped more than the $1000 each for the trip.

The math folks (myself included) used this as an argument to not go. "If we really wanted to help people" we said "then we would just donate the money we would have spent."

This was convincing enough to stop the trip. Solid math to support a more morally positive result. Instead, nothing happened. No trip. No money donated. No help provided.

I think that it's important to remember that giving the piano is better than giving nothing - that's the flipside of the math. A lot of people only help because they get to see that smile. It's not the best form of help. It doesn't do the most per dollar. But if you're going to pay $80 for a piano or do nothing, the math sides with the piano.

[HerbertLandei]

I grew up in East Germany. One day when I was very young, my family was on a trip, and we stopped at a highway parking lot. There was an Intershop, a shop where you could only pay in West German Deutschmarks. These shops were the only place you could legally buy Western stuff: T-Shirts, jeans, alcohol, chocolate, candy, whatnot. Getting Deutschmark was very expensive, people paid crazy exchange rates, like 1:10 or higher. An elderly West German couple talked with us, and then they invited me to join them shopping. I came out of the store with a bag full of sweets and the widest grin on my face. This couple didn't change my life, but they changed the way I see the world. That there are good people in unexpected places. The piano was the right choice, let nobody tell you otherwise.

[OctopusOwl]

The piano is a small temporary thing, but that memory of joy will last a lifetime. The work your sister does helps keep people alive, sets them on a path to healing and betterment. What you did was remind them WHY life is worth living. Gives them dreams of better tomorrow. Both are necessary. The quiet good and the personal.

[rorysparshott]

I have never come across another YouTuber who is able to craft videos so well, and so reliably make me literally sob from the sheer emotion of a simple fucking narration and some B roll. You're not an artist, you're probably the only YouTuber that can honestly be called a virtuoso.

Beyond sublime.

[glennac]

Sure, “give a man a fish and he eats for a day. But teach him how to fish and he eats for a lifetime” as they say. But sometimes that single fish, or that piano keyboard, can alter a life more than you can ever imagine. Would love to see a follow up on Fajar in 10 years time. Thanks Evan. You brought joy to a family that they will never forget❣️

[reeel]

This honesty is something you don't find in any other video in the internet. It's so heartwarming

[michelleh]

I was homeless from 18-20. We remember people like you. And it did make a difference.

[LiluBob]

Honestly, there are two routes to giving. There is what your sister does, and what she does is extraordinarily important. Because like you said what she does gets results and helps the most people, and makes the most permanent of results, but what you did also helps. It’s a two prong form of help. It helps you and it helps the little boy. But it helps in a different way hopefully. It helps him and there’s a ripple affect. Hopefully it will help his family because he is now more joyful, and his family sees that joy and experiences that joy throughout his growing years. It might change his life and be the start of something new that sets him on a new path. That then changes the trajectory of his life. Then again it may not. But it might color the choices that he makes in his future. You just never know. I believe in a philosophy, that when one walks through this world, always make it a little better than when you found it. Because we can’t all do what your sister does, but we can make the world a little better then we found it. And to me, that is the meaning of life.

[dungeonbrownies]

As someone occasionally close to this type of work, this video speaks to me. It's a massive thing to understand the difference between sustainable impacts and personal ones as well as how selfish it can be to be selfless at times. The deep understanding this video touches on makes me glad that you're producing content and engaging an audience who appreciates the same.

[LEFTBASS]

Truth is that everyone ultimately does what’s in their own best interest. Evan did what felt good, even if he knew it wasn’t the most effective. His sister feels better knowing she did the most effective thing she could.

Ultimately, every choice always boils down to your own wants, needs, and values. It’s always about yourself, whether your like Evan, his sister, or anyone else

[OmarLivesUnderSpace]

If you want to help him, give the money to the organization. If you want to make him happy, give him a piano. The problem is this simple: what do *you* want

[NUgala]

This will never stop being my favorite channel. I love the complexity that you share with the world. It is personal to me in a way I cannot express. Thank you, Evan

[turkrudnab]

I am a storyteller (a historian-same thing) and I know one when I see one. Telling stories is a selfless act, they simply have to be shared. You share them as well as any storyteller I know. You think you are selfish. You think these stories are to fulfill some personal desire in you. Perhaps, but I don't buy it. You need to understand how much these stories mean to others when you share them in this fashion. You are truly giving of yourself whether you think so or not.

[Seriouskai]

That piano gave him a chance to entertain others, to spread that joy you gave him. He seems like the kind of person that would do that.

[CyrynDragoon]

This came at the right time for me. I know that sounds cheesy, but seriously, thank you for this. I try to donate as much as I can to causes that will truly changes multiple lives, but sometimes... giving the homeless person I walked by a 20$ so they can get a meal that day feels really fucking good deep in my soul. I know that tomorrow that person will still not have a job or house, but at least they got a good meal today.

The world needs both types of people - you, and your sister. We need people who look at the math and try to do the most possible good with the limited resources available to them so they can help the most people. We need more people like your sister.

But we also need people who see the humanity in each and every individual they meet. People who make the world a little brighter for someone else. The gift you gave Fajar and his family leaves a personal impact in a way your sister's work doesn't. We need more people like you.

Best case scenario, your sister's work creates a better life for the people in those camps. In 20 years, Fajar has his own family, not in a refugee camp, and is a happy, functioning adult who happens to play the piano. He could not have become either of those things without BOTH types of people.

[GuntherRommel]

I don't even know how you manage to make me cry every goddamn time you want to, but you do it. Thanks, Evan, Kata, and Kristin.

[hajime]

That piano will forever mean more to him than a few dollars here or there. It will be a symbol of someone actually listening to him and he was heard. People can do amazing things. I only wish the only thing I want in life would be here now. A true friend. Being alone every single day when you just want someone to talk to, enjoy the same things or just have a comforting smile in the same room. I just want everything to be over

[isaacwhitaker]

The world is such a nuanced place that one cannot just internalize the cascading effects of every single action, but paying the world forward, and giving smiles to anyone will make it a better place.

[katethegoat]

"good isn't a feeling, it's a statistic" is such an important quote

[rottingsun]

"and I hope when you give it to him, his smile is ear to f*ck*ng ear."
the emotion in your voice as you said that gave me goosebumps- very powerful video.