What is it like having a child with Psychopathy? Ask a Parent

We all know someone with psychopathy.

But few know the truth about it. We’re helping change that… by helping you know the signs. Know about treatment options and resources. And know you’re not alone.

Lillyth Quillan was the first parent to publicly use her name and her face and say she was the mother of a child with Conduct Disorder. In 2014, she created and founded Parents of Children with Conduct Disorder (PCCD), a Facebook-based support group for parents and other caregivers of these children. Over the last six years, Lillyth has personally spoken or communicated with thousands of families. She remains as dedicated to the cause of including non-intimate partner violence in the national Domestic Violence conversation, early treatment for our children, and political action as the day she started PCCD.

Lillyth joined us on Zoom to discuss what it is like to have a child with Psychopathy.

[maybememory]

This is honestly my biggest fear in becoming a parent in the future. I can’t think of a worse situation to be in

[NorthCitySider]

Initially I wasn’t sure if she was being over dramatic but as I continued watching, I really felt her suffering. She’s carrying a lot on her shoulders.

[jlicat]

Good lord this is the best birth control I've ever seen before.

[katieandnick]

A giant sign that you haven’t abused your child into becoming a psychopath is your self awareness. Most psychopaths are never discovered because their parents literally cannot see what they are. Some people, quite literally, are born without a conscience.

[uyoebyik]

You're not alone. This needs to be talked about more often than it is

[everythingisalie]

What a nightmare for a ‘normal parent’ to do through. The wasted years for this poor woman

[AKingInYellow]

After working with troubled youth, and meeting a psychopath in said field. I do not blame the parent. You can literally do everything to the best of your ability and still have them try to kill you for literally no reason.

[sagebias]

If your child expresses callous unemotional traits, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.

[Enoughalready]

I finally don’t feel alone. A few minutes and I feel like I got more therapy and validation than I have in years worth of therapy.

[zachz]

I was the kid with psychopathy. I went to talk with a psychologist when I was in my early 20's to get better insight about myself, and he informed me I have very strong primary traits. I am 28 now. I was a very difficult child for sure, my mother never gave up on me though despite all of my misdeeds. I am 28 now, and even though my weak father crumbled under the pressure of it all unable to follow through with what the started when it got hard my Mother has always maintained her love and loyalty for me. And for that I respect her, as successful as I am now I do make her life easier through money. I sent her to Greece last year for a month for example. If it weren't for her strength I would not have been able to get control of myself and get myself to the position I am currently in, I would probably have been homeless at age 18. So thanks Mom

[privateuser]

I would like to know what happened to her son so far

[cassiebennet]

I'm dealing with this. I'm considering taking my child to a neurologist.

[stellablue]

My child is 40 now. Still hurting everyone in the family. I'm thankful beyond measure to have all the resources today that weren't available in 80's. I'm thankful to everyone who shares what they know. Ive been blessed with a lot of help and encouragement on YouTube. But until I heard this video I continued to believe that nobody really understands the cutting pain of it. I know you do! Thank you for sharing your raw heart with us. Buckets of tears! There should be far more extensive help for parents. Blessings of good cheer to you. I have subscribed.

[ivantamayoromero]

This poor poor woman. How did she manage?

[sbc]

I know a father that is dealing with a very disturbed son. He was caught trying to smother his infant sibling at 14. The dad found out his son also sexually abused two smaller girls. No remorse and 5 years of therapy did nothing to help his son. He has no remorse, remorse and definitely no accountability. Local law enforcement did nothing as a consequence but placed him with family that was without children. He is now 18. The dad is beyond devastated despite all the reports to police and CPS and no agency doing anything to hold him accountable.

[tammyhoepner]

Kudos for very difficult honesty. Bravo!

[TGIF]

I feel for this mum! I cannot imagine what’s like having this every day. I used to work as a nanny, experienced and professional over two decades. I got one job with a boy who I thought may have some kind of personality disorder and parents knew something was off since early age. I was feeling constantly manipulated and threathened, i was scared for his sister if I just looked away. Jealousy is nothing unusual but he was vicious with his sister, I was worried he would strungle her one day. I cried every morning before walking through the door that I have to spend time with him because it was my job. I felt guilty even just as a nanny for not wanting his company and also being in constant stress around him, felt like I am just giving orders and threats myself, I consciously had find good things about him other than something shallow as ‘he can be sweet on occasion’ and I could see he struggled a lot. Kids did not like him and those that very emphathetic enough were either bullied by him or parents prefered no afterschool time with him. I felt sorry for him knowing he is just a child but then he sometimes flipped and he did not have a child’s mind, I was scared. We worked on Mindfulness and it helped with some parts but it was emotionally exhausting. This was the end of my career in childcare, never again. The only thing that worked was a reversed psychology but of course, that’s not something to be used lightly. I got really upset with parents, because although they struggled too, they really just waited for a school to do something instead of going private for therapy, I felt they did not even try based on what I knew. I had no support as a nanny as an employee and we are talking few years back only, things have been available. Of course when school started reporting, it went down the hill because he had a massive outbursts, notices etc. I was happy to leave the job but I always felt we failed him because he was just a child, struggling. It’s confusing knowing he is a child but also fearing him as you would adult.

[kristakirkland]

I just broke down listening… I am a single mum of 3 and my son has absolutely broke me to pieces…. So many things our family my sweet girls have had to endure and yet I am always alone and at fault. I research and read and listen as much as I can, therapy, had to remove him from my home in June until I can find common grounds but 2nd time being removed this year. He gave me a black eye and assaulted a police officer that responded due to the fact he was so out of control… sorry to pour. Just needed to I suppose.

[danielfrederickson]

This is a woman at the end of her tether. What a nightmare that would be.

[AnaSantos-ghtf]

It' s worst having them as parents. Always is a hell, but, us, the children of these beings, we end highly damaged and web only able to start understand we were not the problem at older ages. Lot of hard work and a high price requires for sure the people around them, trapped by them.