MAGIC SCHOOLS - Terrible Writing Advice

SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS

CREDITS

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

[Nevernamed]

You know, I wish I could read a story where a "chosen one" is an old woman, learning about some prophecy sixty years late, but shouldering a burden anyway.

[Bobsheaux]

My absolute favorite line in the entire Harry Potter series...
"What could be safer than Hogwarts?"

[michellegodwin]

If this guy wrote an actual book with a protagonist named Mary Sue and just satirized the "terrible writing community" the entire time... yeah, I'd read that

[kylekairu]

Where in the hell is the love triangle!? I can't read a piece of crap book if there isn't a love triangle!!!

[laserspellhawken]

O.K, I'm starting to get the hang of writing. So what we need is a magic school set in a post-apocalypse ruled by an evil empire that discriminates against dwarves and kitchen sink elves while a young girl named mary sue is being hunted by a dark lord of the empire who turns out to be uncle in the end when he is terribly beaten by aliens.

[kawaiiPASTA]

Damn, this described so many magical school animes.

[autumnwolverton]

"Mary Sue's Academy for Chosen Ones, " eh? That actually gives me a story idea... A magic school where every student is the Chosen One of a different prophecy, each destined to save the world from a different ancient evil.

It's run by Headmistress Sue, a gorgeous half-dragon half-goddess with near-omnipotent powers and color-changing eyes who is unconditionally admired and basically worshiped by everyone who has ever heard of her... Except for the main character, who is kind of weirded out by everyone else spending every waking minute of their lives heaping praise upon her.

It's not uncommon for the ancient evil from someone's prophecy to show up at the school itself. In that case, only students whose prophecies have yet to be fulfilled are allowed to take part in the battles; after all, they can't possibly die since they have to be alive to fulfill their prophecies.

Typically, Headmistress Sue will one-up the Chosen One of each prophecy by heroically sacrificing herself to weaken the ancient evil enough for the Chosen One to just have to land the final blow, before triumphantly rising from the dead a few hours later every time.

But of course nobody resents her for all the killstealing and attention-hogging she does, and instead admires her for being willing to sacrifice her life to protect her students (even though they all know she's not staying dead for long). Nor do they even stop to think about all the horrifying problems that the outside muggle world is facing that she could totally do something about if she wanted to.

The main character stands out for having powers that are much, much weaker than that of the average Chosen One. She instead has to rely on clever strategies to overcome much more powerful foes. Most of the other students and teachers assume that she has some true potential that she will unlock in her hour of need and become far more powerful. There is more to her powers than meets the eye, but she never gains any godlike superpowers like the other students.

She makes a few friends at the school, of course. One is a boy whose prophecy says that he and a girl matching the main character's description are destined for each other. Yet she's not romantically interested in him in the slightest. He's a bit disappointed, but is still nice enough to respect her boundaries.

Her other friend is the typical bully character who always tries to mock and humiliate Sue's favorite students. She is still petty and impulsive, like any magical school bully, and it's behavior that her friendship with the main character help her grow out of, but it turns out that she's mostly doing it to take out her aggression about her prophecy. She's one of the few people who *is* jealous of Sue's power and fame, yet her prophecy states that she will eventually learn to admire Sue's perfection like everyone else. She doesn't like the idea that the kind of person she is is destined to be proven to be wrong and bad.

After a while, the other students begin to treat the main character as though she were a bully, even though her only real "sin" is not spending every waking minute talking about Sue's perfect hair. She concludes that something is up with the students and does some digging... Only to discover the terrible truth. Prophecies in this setting don't predict the world's destiny... They *control* the world's destiny, up to and including altering people's thoughts and robbing them of their free will just so that they will go along with said destiny.

Long ago, Mary Sue created a prophecy that would constantly create more prophecies with their own Chosen Ones, as well as making circumstances conspire to resurrect all the ancient evils that they would face. Sue is constantly empowering evil forces and threatening the world just so that she can look good when she saves it. And the prophecy also ensures that everyone who meets her will love and admire her... By altering their thoughts to make sure that they do.

The main character also learns the truth behind their powers. She got them from one of the few prophecies not created by Mary Sue, by a wizard who was determined to end Sue's reign of terror. She has the power to resist the influence of all other prophecies, including Sue's, and to break others free of that same influence. With her and her friends free from Sue's mind control, they might finally stand a chance against her... If she weren't still a demigoddess powerful enough to vaporize the entire galaxy with a snap of her fingers. They must overcome this ominpotent foe and her army of mind-controlled students and professors with nothing but their significantly-weaker powers, their wits, and their determination.

How's that sound?

[hannahpense]

"Even though I radiate pure evil they still let me teach here for some reason!"

That just about sums up bad tenured college professors.

[eliraeclipse]

"Hogwarts is no longer safe"

It never was in the first place. They have a chamber with a basilisk, moving stairs that moves whenever they want, forest with lots of creatures, whomping willow, a room with a three headed dog and many more.

[zenogias]

I want to see a Fantasy School story about a bunch of blase teachers drinking coffee and bitching about the students at their magical academy and the stupid bullshit they get up to. Another day, another epic battle between good and evil and, of course, a pile of paperwork for the teachers and a ton of work for the long-suffering janitor.

[axis]

For some reason thsese make me want to give writing a try. Like actual writing with research and fleshed out worlds.

[FestusOmega]

You know what would be great? A story about the school's staff trying to save it from evil but being constantly set back and undermined by the bungling attempts of the students to do the same thing.

[saarah]

The last book I read that was set in a magic accademy was like 80% of the mc being bullied and made me want to give up so bad.

[neurofiedyamato]

Don't forget the school always have to look like some impractical medieval castle because it is the most efficient method of designing a school; a ancient military fortification!

[The_Murlend]

I feel like SkyHigh did the whole what could go wrong with angsty teens having powers pretty well.

[ollalq]

"Schoolgirl apocalypse
there a dystopia no one has thought yet"
That's where you're wrong kiddo : Mahō Shōjo of the End

[Airrage]

"I will eviscerate you in fiction. Every pimple, every character flaw. I was naked for a day; you will be naked for eternity."

-how every fanfic author thinks they sound

[drbrains]

I love how you tell us exactly what to do then basically say 'NAHH SCREW THAT!' XD

[animatrix]

4:06 Um, I believe the MOST important thing is actually THE LOVE TRIANGLE.

Duh.

[thekaticorn]

Magical school: *in the middle of a crucial battle*
Comic relief character: Z A P P E R S