Dealing with a coward spouse and the narcissistic In-law!

Hello, I’m natalie a survivor of narcissistic abuse. I hope my video can help you in your healing journey. You can reach me at

@natalie-pavliscak venmo
cash app $Goodintentionslifecoaching

[perfectpeace]

My husband is such a coward, I have lost attraction and respect for him. I try my best to make things work, but he plays a major role in the cycle of abuse.

[KittyMeow]

I am absolutely baffled that there are so many wives out there going through exactly what I am…. 🙁

[deborahreaves]

My husband would rather hurt me than to stand up to his siblings and family who talk about me behind my back! I have been dealing with this for many, many years. As a result, I have set up a boundary of never going to any of his family events. I’m done!

[katelyncawthon]

I am in relief that somebody understands. This is my exact situation and it’s so painful to deal with every single day

[peggyhenry]

I’m dealing with this. He goes and visits with her sits on the phone with her for hours. As if nothing has happened. He doesn’t say anything to her. She is the other woman.

[leebergstrom]

My husband fights against me with his mom and takes her side.

[marialovesyou]

First they disrespect then “apologize “ then go behind your back and act like a victim making it seem you the bad one and you shouldn’t spoken infront of others calling her out… because she’s “older” and we need to basically shut our mouth and take it 🥴

[blitzkrieg]

A narcissistic mother SURE knows her son that she raised. She knows the power dynamics between mother and son and that she always has the upper hand. She knows this because she raised him to be obedient to her. A narcissistic mother who has a son who is highly confident and assertive, would not dare to ever abuse his wife. She already knows that she would get cut off and lose her son. I am going through this now. My mother in law has brutally disrespected me and thus, has done great harm to my marriage. My husband called her on her crap and she has REFUSED to back down and apologize to me. Therefore, this situation is festering and cannot be resolved. Meantime, my husband is STILL calling her up once a week like the dutiful, obedient son, although he tells me that he is so "disapointed and disgusted" at his mothers refusal to apologize. Well why would she? She knows that she will not be losing anything. She continues to send Christmas and Easter cards addressed ONLY to him (with no mention of my name at all) and gifts ONLY for him. He stays silent. This will continue and even escalate. His silence is his endorsement that it's ok. I think that it's not only that these guys "normalize" the bad behavior, although that is a fact. Yet, I also think that these guys (our husbands) are DEATHLY afraid of their aggressive, dominant mothers. Of course they will never admit it, but their lack of assertion indicates that they do not want to rock the boat and anger their mothers. They want to avoid the "fall out" with their mothers that would certainly occur, if they were to grab their balls and say "you know what mom? You have really hurt MY wife, who I love very you cannot find it in your heart to humble yourself and apologize to her, then you and I will not be speaking anymore. Do NOT send cards to MY house, excluding MY wife's name, or I will be sending them back to you, unopened". I am a woman and I know that I would never allow my parents to disrespect my husband. They would get cut off and blocked. I don't understand a fully grown man cowering down to his mother to the point where his wife is disgusted with him as a man. It's disgraceful. Be strong ladies. We are in this together. I know that I am not alone and I have a sisterhood of women who are also hurting from narcissistic abuse. We are beautiful. We are worthy.

Update! 5 MONTHS SINCE I WROTE THIS ORIGINAL COMMENT.

My husband just notified me that he has severed ties with his mother. After two years of constant fighting about this issue, he has decided that it's not worth ruining his life and marriage over this mentally ill woman. I give myself full credit for deciding never to back down. I became my own advocate, because nobody else would do that for me. I decided that I have human rights to be treated with civility and respect. I decided that I would make sure that my husband knew that he would need to make a choice between me and his mother if he wanted to have any peace in his life. As a wife, I have legal rights. I was not going to be bullied into backing down. I was not going to grovel to his mother in a desperate attempt to "fix this" just to avoid the terrible fights. I stood my ground. It was hard. It was painful. It put tremendous stress on my psyche and I probably look older now because of it. It's ok, because the most important thing is that I refused to ever give in to her toxic demands and her campaigin to degrade me and gain authority over me. I am a free agent. I am a child of GOD. I claimed my rights of independence and I won. I SHALL NOT WAVE THAT WHITE FLAG. I SHALL NOT BE DEFEATED! POWER TO MY ABUSED SISTERS OUT THERE! STAND TALL! DEFEND YOUR OWN HONOR! YOU OWN YOUR OWN DESTINY AND NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO DEFEAT YOU. TO DEGRADE YOU. TO HUMILIATE YOU. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU ARE BRAVE. YOU ARE

[samstone]

I am dealing with a coward spouse, and it is ruining our marriage. Thanks, you for this video because it touches on so many subjects I am dealing with.

[anotherdayjustbreathe]

In ways, depending on how cowardly or tolerant a partner is ( of someone who is abusive to you ) a partner like that, can be just as dangerous as the abuser themselves.
Anyone in your life, whether it be parent, partner, friend etc . if they ALLOW or are tolerant, of harm coming your way….directly or indirectly….in my eyes,
that is as much of a threat as the abuser itself.

[DAPHNE]

I've been in this situation for 14 years. Since the absolute beginning of my relationship with my partner. I recently started praying for the situation and boy has God moved. The situation has completely flipped and although it's still not resolved, it's more visible and obvious. I don't feel crazy anymore and I'm now just in a waiting period. Pray for peace and watch him move in your favor. Stay humble out there. ❤

[MamaTobi]

Thank you for writing this. My coward of a husband did the worst thing possible- let me and my unborn son get Covid at 34 weeks pregnant at his family’s house and I’ve still yet to get an apology. His family had a sick person take a test with no results and let me walk into that house and somehow this is my fault. I asked him to at least say that was dangerous and disrespectful and he won’t bc he’s too scared to confront his family. He’s never stood up for me in other situations too. Your video solidifies that there is no saving this. I can’t take the pain anymore. My son deserves a strong man as a dad. I am filing for divorce.

[jeanaandreatta]

The thing with going no-contact with the narcissistic in-law, WHILE your husband maintains contact with them…that REWARDS the narcissistic in-law. Having contact with your spouse (their child), and being rid of you, is the narcissist’s ideal. They WANT you to go away and to keep contact with their child (your spouse). The solution is that your husband needs to stand his ground an stand with you. The right thing is for your partner to tell the narcissistic parent that unless they repair the damage with you, they will not have access with your partner. Ergo…the coward husband. This whole situation has been extremely detrimental to our relationship. I just don’t know what else to do.

[Christinamcminn]

I sent this to my Husband. I was not sure how he would take it. But he came home and cried because you opened his eyes to the abuse he has suffered at the hands of his parents his whole life. The Narcissist Father in law even projected this behavior towards our daughter and her husband. You opened my Husbands eyes and I can never thank you enough for this video. We have set the boundaries and removed our self’s from this persons life. We dealt with him for 24 years before we found your video and it opened our eyes fully to the issue and how to handle it.

[Sarah-ftjr]

My MIL used to phone my husband on his rare day off from work to get him to do things for her. Usually it was an emergency doctors appointment. When I mentioned to him that she did it on purpose so that we couldn’t spend the day together, he did end up confronting her about it..and that’s when it got worse because she realised I had influence over him and it wasn’t always about her.

[yezenia]

My husband sees controlling behaviour as "she just cares about us too strongly" and "its because she sees you as her daughter" 😒😒😒

[debiorel]

What I did after years of this sane kind of crap was - I never went around them ever again. I told my husband he could go see them and the kids could see them but NOT ME ever again. It certainly didn’t stop them talking bad about me but I didn’t have to be around them. Just wash your hands of them.

[freetreebees]

I have no words. You are perfectly describing my life !!! For the first time I feel that someone understands me

[Kalina]

“I’m just concerned.” 🙄 “I didn’t mean it like that.” My husband protects his mother and I’m so tired of it! He is blind to her ways!!!

[anewchapter]

Spot Going through this with coward husband of 22 years and his family. The narcs get worse with age and I am so done! He has a history of not having my back in general and not respecting my feelings or boundaries and dismisses and minimizes everything his narc family does even when it has directly affected our children. I have lost all respect for him.