Why Doesn’t He Ask Me Questions?

You’re dating a guy and things are going great. He’s bright, confident, comfortable in his own skin, and overall, he’s pretty good company.

Then, why do you feel so drained at the end of every date? Maybe it’s because he hasn’t expressed one bit of curiosity about your life. So, while you’re getting to know him, he’s not getting to know you. What’s that about? What can you do about it? Stick around and I’ll explain.

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Please watch: "How Men And Women Pursue Sex Differently"
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[djotpph]

Sometimes if they don’t ask you specific questions about your life, hobbies, opinions and you start telling something you can sense their lack of attention to what you are saying, it feels as if you were telling an emotional story to a concrete statue.

[xoxobutterfly]

Reality just hit me right now. He never ask about me or what I like or dislike or even my hobbies my favorite music, etc...he is nice and a gentleman but I feel lonely still

[jomartin]

100% agree Evan I think there's nothing worse than a guy who doesn't ask about me, my life etc. For me I find it way more attractive when they show a genuine interest.

[LW-wgny]

I recently went on a first date and I told the guy when we first got to the restaurant that my daughter got hurt at work and was at Urgent Care and that I would be texting her to see if she was alright. When she texted me an update he never asked how she was, what her name was, how old she was, nothing! How do you not want to know about someone’s child? She’s an adult but still! I asked how long he was married and how long he was divorced, he answered but didn’t ask me. I see getting to know someone as a game of tennis, I ask a question you answer and then ask the same question back. Seems pretty basic, but that isn’t what happens. Such a turn off.

[BradConroy_guitar]

Dates who don't ask you questions, who don't follow up on what you say, or talk about themselves all date long, most likely they are Narcissistic and you should avoid them. Who wants to date someone that isn't genuinely curiois about who you are? I run into these types all the time on the dating apps.

[LisaGemini]

The answer is they are usually selfish! They have no interest in someone else's life. I usually pass on these people; they have no curiosity and I cannot spark it in them, either. It's like he's only interested in having a body fo sex! I just say NEXT with these people and don't befriend them. I have TONS of curiosity myself and like to have deep conversations. I have a lot of selfish family members so I'm biased about this, I guess. I don't need. more of them in my life.

[HannahLe]

Another theory is he just wants to play round. Thus, he doesn’t have a need to know you.

[TM-nbzf]

I've talked to so many people that are unaware that they do this....
It's like a passive rude thing

[sikheriawade]

Thank you! Dating a guy for the past 2 months and he never really ask me questions . I even do open ended questions but he never ask questions back or even ask his own questions but he seems like he’s interested but damn u don’t want to know anything

[pshipc]

Spot on, Marc. I think you hit all the big reasons. I have sat through 3 hour dates, listened to his life story, asked questions, and tried to join the convo only to be interrupted. Then no follow up to the date. They know nothing about me, my sense of humor, my potential as a partner, even what I enjoy doing. It's quite discouraging, but if he's not interested enough to ask, or even to let me talk, I figure he's not interested.
Waiting for the right one.
Thanks for the insightful video!

[NoMoreTears]

When I was using dating apps, I found this to be the most annoying thing ever. If you are texting a total stranger with the purpose of seeing if you are compatible enough to go on a date, I would think you would want to know a few things about them. I actually had a guy tell me after the initial "hi, how are you?", that he wasn't going to tell me his "whole life story on text".
Umm, I never even got the chance to ask a question much less a whole life story! That was a HUGE turn off for me and a HUGE red flag. I was immediately and forever disinterested in ever speaking with him again.
If there is no investment of open, honest, communication, REGARDLESS OF THE REASON, then there is NO chance of developing a relationship of any kind. I would rather be single and talk to my cats.

[HeyHollyYoo]

I love Evan's advice, and after 10 years of relationships, I realized not a single man I was with showed genuine curiosity about me and last night was just another confirmation of that. All these theories can be in play (and my female friends don't ask questions either), but it matters to me a lot and I wish it didn't. I feel alone, disconnected and objectified.

[funkyshade]

I'm a guy and the same thing is happening to me, but it's a girl. It's all about her, after 3 weeks of talking she barely knows anything about my passions, and I've tried to tell her about it believe me.

I don't think this issue is based on gender. Everybody wants to feel heard and like the other person is interested in them.

[mosgvjs]

Exactly… it’s a pet peeve and I don’t want to date someone who hasn’t figured this out. I feel like I end up being the giver and him the taker, it’s like training him what you will tolerate.

[roxanne]

Omg so right. I’ve been dating and I leave dates thinking “he knows nothing about me”. No questions - feel like they’re disinterested and that they think “what can you do for me”? Ugh!!

[sxylala]

If no " investing " questions are being asked during the dating period, they're just not into you! What's the point of dating someone, if you're not going to try to figure out, if you're compatible with each other??

[Miriam-ulke]

Men who don't ask questions are Avoidants simple. Everyone else is curious. And considering that's 25 percent of the population which grows to 40 to 50 percent when your in your 40s this is why. If you shut of your emotions you really don't care to get to know someone past the superficial and even then that can't be redundant. Stay away from avoidants and you won't have this problem. X

[Lsmih]

It's so easy to see lack of curiosity after matching in dating apps. They only answer questions and don't ask you anything. #thankyounext

[annab.]

100% This is my biggest pet peeve and turn off if on a first date they ask me nothing, they don't care to know anything about me, I never see them again.

[jsmoore]

I personally am not a fan of small talk. I like having deep and intellectual conversations. There are also times where I don't want to talk to anyone and want to be left alone. I am an introvert.