How to do laundry when you're depressed | KC Davis | TEDxMileHigh

When you're burned out, taking care of yourself (or your family) can feel nearly impossible. Therapist KC Davis gets it, and she's got a message for anyone struggling with daily tasks: you're not lazy. Care tasks, she says, are neither good nor bad — they're morally neutral. Davis offers creative shortcuts and workarounds for everything from using wet wipes when you can't manage a shower to sealing dirty dishes in a giant zip-loc until you feel up to washing them. Because regardless of your mental health struggles, you are a person worthy of a functional space.

[expatchick]

My mother had major depression during my tween/teen years. She would be in bed all day and didn't care for the house. The whole family constantly bullied her about being lazy and not being a good mom/wife. This is why mental health education is SO important for all ages and generations.

[ClavichordFan]

"But for millions of people the autopilot is broken..." I'm sitting here next to my 7-month-old baby crying as I hear these words, because I have never in my life had an autopilot for any of these household tasks. And now as a mom of two who almost certainly has ADHD, decision fatigue cripples me every. single. day.
I'm already saying thank you for this video, and I haven't even gotten to the end yet. It is such a relief to know that I am not alone.

[kwpp]

I love love love that the one woman mentioned working with her dental hygienist to come up with a solution for brushing her teeth. The fact that her dentist didn't judge but offered a solution warms my heart. My heart breaks for those who don't experience such compassion.

[karenk]

Dealing with a deep, very painful depression. I gave myself one rule: make your bed (In order to do that, you have to get out of it). Then another rule: wear your clothes (get dressed, in clean clothes - that have to be cleaned). Then: every day, do one thing. Just one. At the end of the month, you've done 30 things. As time went on, it expanded, but the principle is the same. I slowly but surely became a functional person again.
I love this lady, her insight is so compassionate and effective.

[dkxlzk]

Replace that inner voice that says 'I'm failing' with 'I'm having a hard time'. And people who are having a hard time deserve compassion. I've never teared up from watching a TedTalk. Thank you.

[GradKat]

I never realised that depression could lead to not cleaning one’s teeth, or taking a shower, but that’s where I am right now. This is a very heartening video.

[TriumphantInTheNight]

Today, I finally looked up “how to clean a room when depressed” and a discussion on Reddit led me to this video.
I’m finally taking care of months-overdue clothing declutter as I watch this video, and I’m tearing up because I feel so validated.
Thank you, Ms. Davis, from the bottom of my heart.

[Pollyanna]

“It’s not about morality; it’s about functionality.” Putting into words what I’ve been trying to say to defend a loved one with depression, for several years. Thank you so much.

[fearreavers]

I laughed and started to cry a bit when she said "to just not kill yourself today". And her mentioning of decision fatigue really hit me. For my last birthday all I asked for was a day when I didn't have to make a decision. I love looking at care tasks as neutral. I just wish the people around me thought the same.

[nenabomb]

Nobody cared for me as a child. Now I am a mother of four and have no idea who I am. Daily tasks are incredibly hard for me. I just wanted to thank you for being so open to talking about this.

[Yellow-Rose]

So happy to hear someone take depression by its horns and wrestle it down. Not having the energy or motivation to brush your teeth or shower or do laundry are the kind of things that are very real symptoms of this horrible and cruel mental condition. It's strange but depression is very immobilizing, almost paralyzing. We have to be brave and look at this monster right in the face. I'm so grateful that KC Davis knows how to talk about something embarrassing like this with such compassion and understanding.

[clairegrover]

LOVE! My Grandmother, who raised 10 beautifully loving and highly successful humans, would say "if it's worth doing, it's worth doing just barely." Morally neutral. Love, love, love.

[jessicathomas]

As a person who studied occupational therapy, care tasks are extremely important and yet my entire profession is put down all the time for focusing on those things. Being able to do the little things without it being a gigantic burden is massive and very important.

[VeganWellnessTribe]

“You deserve to be clean. You deserve to eat.” I think you just saved me ma’am. Thank you

[amyouellette]

I didn't think I'd tear up watching a ted talk about laundry, but here I am

[bennyboy]

I was doing the washing up listening to another TED talk audio only, when this auto-played. I ended up just standing still and listening, and then the emotions hit, her voice cracked and suddenly I’m crying.

I don’t suffer from depression but something here resonated. Thank you for a great talk.

[puteshestvie_drugikh]

Everyone who reads this, we don't know each other and probably never will but I wish you all the best in life and all the luck in the world.

[NessieFromTheLoch]

I didn’t know other people felt like this. I didn’t know so many other people can’t even look at their laundry piles without starting to panic. I can’t believe a talk about cleaning brought tears to my eyes. Thank you ❤

[AURORAS_ASMR]

Showering is so hard sometimes it’s hard to do basic things when you are depressed. No one understands around me especially my family

[jennenny]

I am sobbing and hugging my toddler right now, the youngest of three. I didn't think I needed to watch this. I very nearly skipped it. I'm so glad I didn't. Thank you. From the bottom of my very tired heart, thank you.