Say 'NO' more!!

It's been a long time since I just straight up gave advice on this channel with no story or sarcasm; but this was something that was on my mind a lot lately. It also felt like a good opportunity to experiment with something visually different (more quick, poorly drawn but silly and stupid-looking art).

EDIT:
There is a bit of confusion about the term "default answer" from some people, which means what your internal compass is pointing to, not that you immediately say out loud "no".
I'm not saying you always have to immediately reject everything and help no one. More kindness in the world is good; but that is also why kindness can be misattributed and misused. Doing things out of kindness cannot come at the expense of yourself and only pleasing others.

Music: からっぽのおもちゃ箱 - DovaSyndrome

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#animation #animated

[Kjrulz]

Back in the 1960's in Sweden a man asked if I wanted a pet monkey. I replied "no". I had a mundane event free life afterwards

[rankygo]

Unlearning to be a people-pleaser is an arduous and sometimes scary process but it makes you discover things you never really felt before. That said, if helping others is something that makes you feel fulfilled, that's a reward in and of itself! Just don't forget to help yourself in all of it.

[Ptichka]

This was the perfect time for me to see this video. I'm in the process of transitioning from a doormat into an actual human being, and this advice is golden. Thank you!

[YP_STR]

“Yes is a lot harder to turn into a No.”
This sentence made something inside my brain clicked. I needed this video more than I thought, thank you Mattias Pilhede.

[jabberjack]

I’ve learned that it’s easy to feel like you need some eloquent reason for saying no, but sometimes “because I don’t want to” is the only reason you need

[pando]

thank you for this advice, strange slime that replaced the real mattias pihede

[rifolas]

"So what?"

*A rift opens up in reality as existence starts to fall to pieces*

[TornaitSuperBird]

There was a video game that came out a few years ago that also talked about the same themes.

also was called "Say NO More". If you haven't played it yet, I'd think you'd like it.

[catoticneutral]

I used to say yes a lot. A lot of people I've known would act sad if I told them no, so I got used to being helpful and agreeable to avoid that feeling of disappointing others, but saying yes to everything led me to very dark places.

[GoingSwimmingly]

"Default answer is no" is honestly a good place to start with boundaries, I did there too!

I usually don't really care where I am in life so the reason I do it is to actually also give myself time to weigh the options properly lmao

[Bossfanboy]

NO, I will NEVER use this advice... Wait....

[notlunalust]

This is very accurate and helpful!!
After living with a manipulative parent for a long while, you learn how to stop doing things for them and learn to say "no".
My favourite advice is that in literally any situation, you can just leave if you don't like it!
Amazing vid, Matt :3c

[scribblecloud]

i wish people just straight up told me "no" more instead of stringing me along or avoiding the question or not giving a clear answer, its more hurtful and frustrating.

also while i do think its good to say no more for things like favors, if it is something like giving something a try or hanging out and doing something i think people should start yes more. Maybe its just me but i see a lot of people refusing to even give things a try because they only want to stay in their bubble and never try anything new

giving new things a try and doing stuff with my friends, not inherently only because i wanted to do the thing, but because i enjoy spending time with my friends, has given me a lot of lovely experiences and interests and things to love. Not because im a people pleaser but because i enjoy giving things a chance and showing appreciation, i think THATS what we need more of :)

[Nameshouldbehereplz]

My problem is definitely having to adapt to my situations constantly to the point where I feel like I don't know myself sometimes. This was a lovely video and I'm so glad I'm subscribed to your channel! It served as a healthy reminder of how to set boundaries in an understandable way while still having your usual charm to it.

[towermeower]

Sometimes saying "no" now circumvents having to say "no" with extra emotional baggage and suffering later, an unfortunate lesson of living passively as a "yes"/confrontational avoidance person for many years. Really great advice, also feeling blessed for having so many good mattias videos recently!

[MiserableLabourPhD]

I just played an indie game called Say "NO" More. Very good and very funny. Shoutout Studio Fizbin

[johngoode]

I lost my independent life a month ago and so now I’m back with my parents, jobless, waiting for a postgraduate course to start and so now I’m learning to love myself, not just lay the hand I’m dealt optimistically but love myself without validation from others.
This was advice I need right now

[capac]

i was just doing something not good, and this video popoed up with notifications. sings everywhere

[saxeladude]

1 minute in love this already. The idea of no as rude is what makes yes a toxic answer, value your integrity over your dignity and you might be a little happier and less stressed. If you're not interested in commiting why agree to do so just to put in a half effort or to ditch last minute. It's not dissapointing if there isn't an expectation of respocibility.

[Bluexx]

I can't agree more. I had a "friend" who was basically using me. Though I was fine with it, I didn't like how frequent and intrusive it become. Even if I had my own plans, or want to rest after a day of work, they'll go pressure me to do come over while saying "no pressure", "I'm just joking", and "you're just overthinking it".

Until one day, I had a plans to go a city fair. I told them basically no because of my plans. They "jokingly" said "Oh, so you choose the fair over me" with other insults as "jokes". I just snap back, protecting my boundary. They give me some sob "I thought we're friends" texts. I stop reading when I saw "I'm blocking you now".

Real friends can take no and respect your boundaries. Fake friends gets upset and throw tantrums when you say no. You deserve real friends.