Prof. Dan Gilbert -- The Science of Happiness: What Your Mother Didn't Tell You

Most of us think we know what would make us happy and that our only problem is getting it. But research in psychology, behavioral economics, and cognitive neuroscience shows that people are not very good at predicting what will make them happy, how happy it will make them, and how long that happiness will last. One reason for this is that our cultures provide us with both wisdom and myth about the true sources of human happiness. Our mothers were right about some things and wrong about others, and science is beginning to reveal which is which.

[drxcreatures]

The dumb voiceover screws up the ending. Didn't you guys go over this video before uploading?

[chronobot]

The secret to happiness is... Low expectations and legitimate gratitude for whatever you have... and not dwelling on what you don't have

[allvideoproductions]

the key is self love and a feeling of self-worth, above all else

[zrajm]

Gaah! The simultaneous translation at 26:40 did not increase my happiness!

[giajung]

[26:40] I didn’t say don’t have children; I didn’t say you’d be happier if you didn’t have them. Remember what I said was that the people with them don’t seem to be as happy and surely not happier than people without. But that doesn’t mean that if you didn’t have children then you’d be like the people who chose not to. We can’t do random assignment experiments like “you’ll have kids” and “you won’t.” [..] It may well be that people who want children are happier and once they have them it decreases their happiness [..] bigger decrease. Wanting children may be the disease that makes us unhappy [...] than it is to have them. This sounds like I have been saying something bad about children but I haven’t. I’ve been saying something bad about you. (laugh). Now I’m suddenly much more popular. Truly. Now we know the gap, the happiness gap between people who do and do not have children, is very large in some countries like mine and much smaller in others. I don’t know which; I should have looked it up before I came. What that means is that it has something to do with the way we parent children. [27:54]--no voiceover from this point

[suzieqwonder]

Prof. Dan Gilbert is a joy to listen to. He’s a realist ~ thx for this presentation!
The interruption from the translator is SHORT LIVED. Enjoy this ~ it’s worth listening to...

[donfox]

I once started to write a book on happiness. After a few days I stopped because I wasn't happy. It didn't make me happy to write that book.because I felt like a fraud. As soon as I stopped writing it I felt more happy. The secret of happiness I'd doing what you love as long as you love it.

[milad]

Key points:

🔸People think resting is the thing that brings most happiness but they are wrong.

🔸 Spending time and money and love for others is a great source of happiness.

🔸 Money (actually) buys happiness!

🔸 Marriage (and devorce too!) could bring more happinesses.

🔸 People that spend more money on experiences than materials are more happier.

🔸 A few big experiences could bring more happinesses than a lot of little ones.

🔸 Most part of the video is about children that they actually don't bring happiness (in average at least).

[PrimoStracciatella]

"If children would make us happy, we would just be investing in another selfish pleasure. Maybe the fact that they don't tells us something wonderful about ourselves." 28:43

[yanina_popova]

I have 3 kids. i have read the study about the kids making you miserable and as a stay at home mom that lives in hell i totally agree. my friends that are aged 35-38 and do not have kids look at me and say taht they are so sorry that they do not have kids then i tell them that this is not going to make their life better but just destroy it and no one believes me. along with the health, hormonal and brain changes that comes with motherhood. and after a while (round 10 years in my experience)it all comes back to the baseline happines line. and then i start to see it and i say to my self thank god i have kids. because they inspire me. my single friends complain about such stupid things that a person who watched a kid learning walking could never even think about

[diongld]

Live life by being practical, less materialistic. Keep away from toxic people. I've learned that late in life and am truly free and happier now than in my early years! False about being happier married. I was on both sides of the spectrum. I'm happier being single.

[dajenh]

I have two adults kids at 22 and 24. Yes, they didn't bring me much happiness as Dan said it. But maybe due to our human nature built in gene (otherwise human kinds won't survive for so long), they give me some meaning of life, some completeness. So yes, overall you pay a lot (do I need to prove it?) for a small and rare happiness. But other meaning could be more important and that is why most of people do it.

[newplanman]

The joy I get from having kids is watching them grow and learn what ive taught them and use that knowledge to enjoy a fruitful and successful life.

[withyoctopus]

1. Get married
2. Get rich
3. Buy experiences instead of objects
4. Many little joys are more important than one big joy
5. Children don't make you happy

[MrSasaMilosevic]

As a childless man I am faced with enormous amount of silent discrimination in my country (Serbia), so I know what does it mean when people with children think they have dominant right to to under-estimate people who are not parents.
Family doesn't mean happiness.
Not at all.
Personally, I know tons of very unhappy families, but they have very successful mask on their faces and their family photos express a perfect, but false satisfaction similar to scenes from Spilberg's movie.
But, it's only photoshop.
An artificial smile.
Do they have any other choice disappointed in reality of life? Not, of course !
So they find an additional "modus operandi" to accept situation they have to live. Frequently, they allegedly joyfully talk about families as " oasis of happiness" and "home, sweet, home". Also, they enjoy verbally insulting people without kids, trying to make their pain stronger, but not understanding they can't avoid their own dissatisfaction that exist even within their own families...

[jeromebosch]

Most important question: HOW do they measure if a person is happy? It can't be by asking them, because he goes on to show that we deceive ourselves about our own happiness.

[CarWashLeader]

The ending ruined everything ... (that voice clip)...

[TimBowers]

... about happiness ~ it's a modern problem.   if you only struggle to survive, you hardly have time to think about it.

[sheenrillo]

Why is there a voice translation towardd the end? I cant hear the talk

[marqann]

This explains why teachers love their job :-)