PewDiePie on why most relationships fail

[Pewds On This Day] 2021
Big Ed Returns With More Cringe Xd

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Pewdiepie:

#PewDiePie #Highlights #Clips

[thewannabegamer]

I believe that there is someone out there for me. But my mom had told me multiple times that in the 30+ years of marrying my dad, there have been times when there were people who she’s met who she has had a connection with. And you have to snuff it out and get away from it as soon as possible. And my dad has said the exact same thing. When you’re in a relationship, there will always be other people who might seem like the better or right option. The grass is always greener on the other side. But when you’re happy in your situation, you have to get away from those types of people. Just because you meet and find someone who’s charismatic doesn’t mean that you should stop loving the one you’re with or that you should drop everything you have because of this random person. People need to realize that commitment and communication are the most crucial parts of a relationship. I mean, one of those people who my mom met was at her work and he didn’t care if she was married and didn’t care that she had three kids at home. He would continue to flirt with her and be the best guy to her. But she quit her job immediately and found somewhere else to work because it’s just not worth it.

[rohilsatam]

I remember when he first said this and honestly was shocked because that's exactly how I felt so to see him voicing in a way what I feel felt really nice

[aki_]

No one has to take responsibility for another person shit
When you're comfortable with yourself, and love yourself, that's when you can truly be in a healthy relationship
And yes having someone to be with you, and help you with those issues is great but they don't have to fix it FOR you
I think the best relationship is when both can rise up together without dumping shit over each other life, and that's fair

[kokocute]

Everyone has shit in their lives - past trauma, unconscious toxic traits you have with your family you bring to every relationship you bring, etc. The mindset one should have before getting into a relationship is “Am I capable of handling his shit and is he capable of breaking the cycle so we don’t become toxic ourselves?” If you can work through that then you’re going to be ok. A relationship is always going to be a work in progress and a conscious commit to the same person everyday.

[itzkido]

I have the same mindset of pewds here. If you're going to be in a relationship you should at least make peace with all your problems so they wouldn't get projected onto others.


Edit : didn't expect people to argue on my replies. But yeah what I mean by make peace doesn't necessarily have your problems finished, but rather you accept that problem as something that you would bring into the table if you're going to be in a relationship.

[silverco]

I agree with him. To add my perspective, I’d say relationships fail because most people aren’t looking for love, because they don’t know what love is.

I’ll elaborate:

Some people want a partner that will fit into their idealizations more than they want to actually love a real person. Their immature idealism blinds them and keeps them from making a deeper connection to their partner, they think love is about fulfilling their fantasies, so they expect their partner to take them by the hand and allow them to escape reality guiding them towards a magic world where everything is perfect and beautiful. That makes them very intolerant when it comes to their partners flaws; once they realize that person they think they love is a real, human, mundane person, they can’t take it. Love can only exist alongside deep intimacy, and if the purpose of a relationship is escapism, then intimacy can never be built.

Others, are just too desperate. They want to have a deeper connection to someone because they can’t stand being alone, as a consequence, they overlook any flaw the other person may have. These people are looking for a way to fill the void within themselves, they’re looking for a savior, they’re not looking for love. Love is about sharing, you shouldn’t make your partner feel like they have to save you from yourself.

Love is about deciding to bravely face life together with another person. There’s just so many virtues that are imperative foundations for love such as honesty, selflessness, kindness, empathy, courage, etc. It takes two great people to make love work, because both have to bring out the best in each other, support each other, and trust each other.

[bendover]

Most people are in love with the idea of love rather than the other person.

[domo]

I really agree with this. Even though I’ve been single for 27 years, I don’t want to get tied up in a sticky relationship because of my own mental health issues. It really isn’t fair to the other person and I’m so glad pewds said this because not many people know this, it’s rarely ever talked about, but it needs to be said.

[stavros]

You'll always have issues, you're always gonna be imperfect. Work on your problems and come to the conclusion that they aint gon a go anywhere. Any problem you fix about yourself or in your life will only be replaced with another problem. Never think that you have to be perfect before you have a commited relationship but instead realise you have your faults, your partner will have their faults too and accept that. And obviously don't go putting your problems on your partner but understand you can work on them as a team and if you both actually want the relationship to continue then it will. Its just an opinion so please for the love of god just stfu if you have nothing constructive to say.

*EDIT* btw the comment section is actually really constructive and I would personally like to thank everyone in the comment section for keeping it real and thoughtful. Like I see people replying to eachother so nicely. Its an amazing comment thread to read through.

[sanegayguy]

meanwhile pewds : *travelled all the way to Italy to meet Marzia as a broke college student*

[ldarkllrevanl]

Don't project your issues onto others but a relationship where you become each other's strength and overcome your problems together is the best relationship. The problem is people want more out of relationships and don't love the person as they are, not realizing that people grow and change and you have to be aware of that.

[pepetheiii]

By going through people's comments, I think there's a paradox here. You're thinking that you're ready for a relationship when you've fixed your problems. But life is an endless run of problems after problems. By the time you'll fix one problem that's bothering you, there would be another one lying in front of you. And let's say you do fix them, by the time you're ready for a relationship you'd be 30-35.

And there's another side to this. What is a relationship about? What are the things you're supposed to do together? Cause it looks like people want all the fun part together but as soon as it comes to problems you're on your own? Well, then there seems to be a lack of communication and understanding.

Also you have to consider that sometimes you need to share your problems rather holding it in otherwise that would make a relationship look more frustrating and fake.

"A friend in need is a friend indeed"
If you don't even want to work things out together I think you're imaging a superficial state where your partner is a robot who'd able to accomplish every task independently. We're human beings. we have limitations. And sometimes it's better to sort things out together than thinking that if your partner cannot fix his/her problems, you're not "worthy" of a relationship. Cause that seems quite egocentric idea to me.

I think the main problem here is that people drop their problems/frustration on their partner. Of course that's wrong! And I think what pewds really trying to say is some people are just too much conflicted with their own problems that they are not in a healthy state of being in a relationship.

But a lot of people are confusing this with " you should be no help to your partner" or "all your partner's problems are his problems, fix it on your own" and "if you're not "good enough" for a relationship you shouldn't try to be in one". It's a relationship not a competition!

Ironically, this type of mindset would turn a relationship into a really toxic one because you've no interest in solving/understanding your partner's problems! Also there seems to be a lot of egoistic people here who think that their partner is a burden on them if they're going through hard times!

So, I think the better way to deal with this would be to categorise which problems you would solve on your own and which problems of you and your partner need to be solved together.

And with your own problems, you need to try to a certain extent but if it feels like things are getting out of the hand then you need to have a talk.

[n.nora]

I was having a long term, toxic relationship because I had severe mental health issues. I started taking meds but our relationship was already broken. I felt really guilty and decided never starting any relationship until I ‘fix’ myself fully. But then I met this person and he really wanted to help me through my issues. I told him about my past relationship and how my mental health effected it. I didn’t want to make his life harder. He was so patient with me and said that he wouldn’t mind. He still wanted to be with me. Now we are on this journey together, happily. I am really glad that I could end my past relationship, met my current bf and let him into my life. I would say don’t get too hard on yourselves. Someone can help you.

[otanuki]

When my parents married each other, everything was all fine and dandy, but after a few years of marriage my dad completely caved in. He never learned how to cook and take care of himself. He works, and only comes home to eat, drink and watch TV. While he was there physically, he was never there for me and my brother.
I always tell people, I don't have a dad, I just have an extra brother.
My mom has admitted that she has grown to detest him, but cannot bring himself to leave him because by doing so he would literally kill himself out of negligence.
It made me understand that I would much rather be single then be stuck with someone like my dad. I don't wanna marry someone just because that person needs a second mother figure to look after them.

[wm]

I personally don't feel ready to be in a relationship I'm striving for personal growth and I don't think I can handle someone else's emotional needs... it's annoying when people ask me why I've never had a boyfriend or why I don't just download tinder and get a date like no just let me get my shit together in peace

[shootie]

I don’t believe that you have to be issueless to have a relationship, Everybody has issues even when you fix them you still have more it’s an evitable and never ending.

[EdgarTheOgre]

when people say "there is someone out there for everyone" is sounds, to me, like "I'm perfect, someday someone will notice"

no asshole you're not perfect and every healthy relationship demands change, evolution, sacrifice

[alphanumeric]

I've never been in a relationship but I kind of have the same ideology about having a certain foundation laid out. With Pewds it's about yourself. My own foundation is about friendship. I feel like you're missing a step in the ladder if you jump right into romance without being really good friends

[chyny]

A lot of relationships end up failing for a couple of reasons but Pewds hit a home run with a cause that's not talked about enough. I'll give my two cents:

Love is not meant to be some sugar and rainbows experience where everything's okay and wonderful. There's a reason it's calling "falling in love" and not something like "getting in love".

Most of the time, you don't expect love to happen but when it does, it hits you and as with everything that's really good in life, there's a massive honeymoon period where you're just happy to finally have someone there. Maybe you were extremely lonely, maybe you're a very affectionate person but never had anyone to give that affection to or maybe you're just looking for the one. Whatever the reasoning is, most people aren't actively looking for love when it happens to them. The problem is that most people want it to be sugar and rainbows because NO ONE in their right mind wants drama and problems. Thing is, drama and problems are INEVITABLE, it's all a matter of how you handle those things that will truly gauge how strong your relationship is. Expecting no bumps in the road is a textbook case of insanity or blind optimism.

Now that being said, because you "fall" in love, you're never normally ready for it. Which is why it's good for you to accept who you are and make peace with all your issues (not solve them, just accept them. If you can solve them, more power to you) so that when it happens, you don't have to work on yourself a massive amount and of course, you don't project all your problems onto your partner. Once you've gotten into something and both of you understand each other's problems and after all of that is said and done, if you're both willing to accept each other, baggage and all, then you've truly found something meaningful. At that point, it's a matter of taking your partner's hand and facing life together, despite all the flaws you find in each other.

A lot of people don't understand that the best relationships aren't perfect ones. In fact, the ones that seem too perfect are often times the most toxic. And what even more people don't seem to understand is that no relationship is gonna be smooth sailing all the way through. Fights are gonna happen, disagreements will come around, emotions are gonna run high and all that jazz.

But I believe if you've found someone you're fully willing to tolerate all of those things and in fact, you appreciate them for challenging you and helping you grow and vice versa, then you've found what I believe to be a great relationship.

Nothing is perfect, ESPECIALLY not relationships. But you can get damned close. And the thing is, everyone's definition of perfect is different, so there's no golden standard to compare to.

If people spent less time wanting things for wanting's sake and instead, focused on what's truly important which is accepting themselves fully and then not expecting absurd things from a potential partner, a lot of relationships would be better off.

Just my two cents is all.

[jaketsnake]

I haven't been in a relationship in 4 years. I do really want a girlfriend but I'm pretty fucked in the head right now. I am actively going through therapy currently so I'm trying to learn how to deal with my issues. It'd be really nice to start dating again, but I think it'd be irresponsible of me to do so. One day, I'll be ready, hopefully sooner rather than later.