A Paradigm for Understanding How Men and Women Communicate - Audrey Nelson PhD

This is a simple and informative paradigm that helps to organize the primary ways men and women communicate. Men and women communicate both verbally and nonverbally in very different styles.

Men Women
Direct Indirect
Goal Process
Independent Interdependent
Content Feeling
Self Other

[JustinKenward]

I can see how this is true. For the most part anyway. I tell people that I don't care how it get's done. Just that it gets done, and done right. What ever process they use is up to them.

[TheHighlander]

In regards to your opinion on male communication; the reason we generally dont care about the "process" as you put it, is simply because we are conditioned that process explanation are similar to excuses. If i ask my male employees, "did you get production done today?" If they say, no i did not, or yes sir i did, then thats it, but if a male begins saying, oh man, my car broke down on the way out, and i had to drop off some letters, and this other etc. I see him dancing around a "no", and that shows a lack of confidence, and it portrays a fundamental flaw. Being problem oriented, and obstacle centered, instead of solution oriented. However if a woman begins telling her story, i had better listen and condone that mentality with a more gentle approach, and give her positive support to succeed tomorrow. You cant possibly understand the male circumstance in professional expression. Any sign of indirect communication is a red flag in the business world. The modern age of science, technology business theory and data processing is cold, calculative, direct, and essential to success. Im sorry, but i dont agree with catering to a form of communication that will hinder productivity in the industries it is not needed. There are other places for such things. But to condone that women should bottle up these emotional frustrations, and take them home to the husband, kids, etc, is a terrible idea. Snuff it out completely, work hard, and play harder. Otherwise it will get the better of you.

[thijsjong]

I understand the female form of communication. But.
The circling around what she means and wants to say can anoy me.
Be efficient. Please. Women are to afraid to offend or get no for an answer. Circling around what you mean what gets you rejected. Its like having to read a long legal disclaimer before getting to the content.
Mem get bored.
or Anoyed.
or Their attention drifts of.
There are more reasons if I dig further into it.
etc.
Get To The Point!

I know you are being indirect to prevent offending someone. Or feel rejected when someone says no. And all the other reasons for being inderect.
But it gets the oposite results.
Be direct. It works better with most men and some women.

Dont start a coversation with a lot of details and at the end of it how it all ties together.
State what you want to say and at relevant details after that.

Every person is different. I come from the mbti and the big 5 angle here.

I have a female boss and she is direct in most situations.