How I gamed online data to meet my match: Amy Webb at TEDxMidAtlantic

Amy Webb is the CEO of Webbmedia Group, which studies disruptive technologies and advises a worldwide client base of Fortune 100 and Global 1000 companies, government agencies, media organizations and foundations. She is a Research Affiliate at the MIT Media Lab, a Lecturer at Columbia University and serves as a Delegate on the U.S.-Russia Bilateral Presidential Commission. Amy judges many of the emerging tech awards and serves on a number of boards, including SXSW Accelerator and Online News Association. Her new book, "Data, A Love Story: How I Gamed Online Dating to Meet My Mate" (published by Penguin) is available for preorder now and launches nationally in bookstores on January 31.

In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

[phaseservices]

She nailed it! It's just sales people. Ask for what you want and go get it. Online dating makes easier then ever to meet someone.

[lorrieroemer]

In another TED Talk she said Steve, the IT Guy, ordered a huge amount of food and wine, then left to the restroom and never returned, stiffing her with the $1400 bill. This is a big discrepancy from her report in this TED Talk where she says he pushed the bill toward her and followed her outside the restaurant. Makes me wonder how much of her presentations are the truth. Otherwise, she is very entertaining. Her other TED Talk is much better than this one.

[lineka]

just about anyone who goes on a million dates and is genuinely looking for and ready for a relationship will eventually meet 'the one." I don't think she gamed the dating process, but she did create a bunch of spreadsheets that she could parlay into a book.

[iluvhopndballet]

Jesus freakin Christ, it's a pit hold down here in the comments. How easy is it for many of you guys commenting to throw dirt at this woman and attack her personal choices. Also those commenting on how "ugly" she is, have you forgotten that beauty's in the eye of the beholder? Fucking hell, can you stop being so hateful as you cozy down on your chair and spit mean comments safely from behind a screen. I don't agree with all her methods, however I found it entertaining. If you have nothing positive to say, then don't say anything at all.

[Fresh-shgc]

Is this a joke? Its so much easier to find someone when u have 100 matches in ur queue every week. Like wtf. Guys cannot do this tho.

[wariswrong]

If a man stood there and condemned women for their physical characteristics, even those they can do something about, he'd be loudly booed off the stage and probably fired from his job and unable to find another.

[Waltham]

Worst Dates:
#1: Jewish Girl, spent the entire date returning items at Nordstroms.

#2: FORMER Scientologist who turned out to be a RABID Scientologist.

#3: Phillipa American Princess. looks 8, personality 2.

#4: The Stalker. Picked a fast food restaurant. Left the comedy club after 30 minutes. Spent 60 minutes parked down the block from her ex's home (with me in the car), seeing if he was alone.

[rogerhuggettjr.]

As a guy 2 weeks divorced after a 17 year marriage I don't know if I should be scared at how singles think or happy that so many men have lowered the bar for me to look spectacular by not being a nut case.

[danascully]

I'm confused.  I watched Amy's other video and she said that Steve went to the bathroom before the bill came and she was forced to pay the whole bill herself and she never saw Steve again. HMMMM.

[WestCParallel]

I feel like people here are arguing over the wrong things and not seeing the importance of her talk/algorithm/success (or maybe just threatened by the idea that an algorithm can be just as capable if not more so than human intuition in such a deep human aspect such as love/mating).

Leaving all the personal attacks on her and her family aside AND forgetting about Steve as either a fictitious or real guy let's consider her main point of deduction: that she created an algorithm for what she valued, gathered data (whether ethical or not) about base rates, and created a formula that worked for HER in the end. What is so wrong with the idea that algorithms can be used to help individuals, especially in the heart breaking realm of love?

It seems to me that anyone who is single should not be so quick to dismiss her idea until they have tried it for themselves? If anything she is providing single people a way to actually enhance their dating lives through intelligent analysis. 

[kcampbell]

I love her point about not listening to others advice and that she had been too afraid to ask for the man she really wanted. So now I am no longer afraid. I do not want to be with a man who eats meat, it won't work for me. I will never cook that as someone's wife or buy it.

[MesRevesEnRose]

Men in this comment section are SHOOK. They feel so threatened that an "average-looking" woman had the ~audacity~ to ask for what she wanted and not settle. 😂😂

[grapiken]

I think she's used online dating in a practical way, but I also think she's been LUCKY. I would like to know how many other people have used this technique and not not had success.

[Chantwizzle]

In her original talk, "Steve" takes off and leaves her with the bill. She says he goes to the bathroom and doesn't come back.

[Qwertmeupbiatch]

She could have saved a helluva lot of time filling the "questionnaires" properly instead of taking weeks to develop a ludicrously complex system for dating essentially superfluous in nature. Anyone with a shred of common sense would know not to copy and paste their resume onto an online website. Ah well, at least she's able to forge another living from an undoubtedly nugatory book on fortuitous love.

[UneVoiePourLHomme]

What i got from this video is simple, she is a failure as a women and she used the oldest trick in the book "lying" by creating a "super" profile to con a poor man into marriage.

She wrote a book about it, she is doing lectures to further make her husband a living punch line... Can we all say that she don't respect him, and therefore she is settling and her story is more about the power of the baby clock ?

[Peaches]

Not sure where you picked up that she was lazy and didn't fill out her info, but she specifically said she did, and then researched why that wasn't working for her. I actually thought she spent a great amount of time and energy to make the system work appropriately for her.

[trevorryder]

:') i kinda teared at the end, modern day love story.

[Waltham]

I'm a Jewish guy (atheist really). I attended a party where I spoke with a female Jewish Psychologist. She did her doctoral dissertation proving that Jewish men who married non-Jewish women had a lower level of ego-strength than those who married Jews.

I married a non-Jewish woman, so I was pretty offended. She said her research had proven her point.

I suggested that her research was driven by a need to explain to her mother why she was 30 and unmarried.

We didn't talk again.

[Waltham]

OH MY GOD!

She is Lilith from Cheers!