Therapist Reacts to THE BOY AND THE HERON

How do we honor and remember those we have lost?

Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright are reacting to Studio Ghibli’s newest film, The Boy and the Heron. They talk about Mahito’s grief and journey to acceptance. Jonathan shares his own experience grieving the death of his mother as well as looking back on life without regret. Alan shares his perspective on regret and his thoughts on Ghibli animation techniques. And they acknowledge Hayao Miyazaki being a master at work, even if they don’t fully understand the work. It’s kind of trippy!

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Cinema Therapy is:
Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, Alan Seawright, and Corinne Demyanovich
Edited by: David Sant
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis

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[JaeStories]

I'm still upset that they changed the title. In Japanese, it's "How Do You Live?" as in, how do you live after loss, disaster, and trauma. That's so much more impactful than "The Boy and the Heron"

[jamieohjamie]

Fun fact: There are 13 stones. Miyazaki made 13 Ghibli films. Some people have interpreted the stone stacking as Ghibli nodding at the younger generations to take his work, be inspired by it, and create their own worlds. To me, the Parakeet King represents someone who does not carefully craft a story, but rather haphazardly tries to just quickly produce something (think, for example, AI tech bros or execs who create low-effort slop simply for money). I think that's why, after the Parakeet King fails to make a tower, the entire world falls apart.

[NecroMoz]

Parakeet man and the other parakeets are critics who were mad at Miyazaki for letting Goro try. Goro didn’t want to build his Dad’s empire though, he wanted to build his own. And his Dad’s saying that’s OK. It’s ok. Let the tower die. Build your own tower. Be your own man. Live your own life. If this wasn’t clear by the end, the moment where they harmlessly shit all over everything without dampening their joy ought to be the big clue!

[reubenhall]

Theres a lot of symbolism with Miyizaki accepting that hes irreplaceable, and his legacy truly has no successor. But people should follow their own creative paths, just as Mahito chose his own path in life. I also think that theres a lot that involves Myizaki's creative companion, Isao Takahata. Hes since passed away, but has also made an undeniable impact on the world of animation. A lot of stuff to unpack.

[junookubo]

When I was 7 years old, I lost my older brother. He got hit by a car that sped off afterwards, and didn’t die immediately. I managed to call for an ambulance with his phone, and he died on the way to the hospital. He was 18 years old when it happened, and he was a star student. He got accepted into a big name law school, and was going to study to become a lawyer for abused children. He told me that after he graduated and got situated with a job, he would get a big house that both he and I could live in. That, I wouldn’t have to do anything that I didn’t want to do. All of that got taken away within a blink of an eye. He used to always tell me; "You’re a good girl. You did so well, you don’t have to try so hard anymore. I’m here for you.". He said that as his last words in the ambulance that he died in. The first person that showed me what true love was, got taken away from me. The scene where Mahito’s mother dies in the fire, and he sees it happening, reminds me of when my older brother died. Just like how Mahito remembers his mother dying and sees it in a dream, that exact thing has happened to me countless times. This movie hit really hard for me. Thanks for covering it.

[ayabeth]

"Hayao Miyazaki is in a I'm old, I'm doing whatever the f*ck I want faze"
He's been like that for quite a while lol

[Luna-dkcn]

I love that Miyazaki always shows in his works how he hates war. And I believe that the old man is Miyazaki and the Tower is Ghibli studio, he always says that studio will die and that's okay

[abferris]

So when you guys were talking about how the mother lashing out that she hates him was a twisted version, I think this isn’t a version but part of her buried deep inside. She has tried so hard to connect, and done everything in her power to show him that she loves him, and all she is met with is polite indifference. In a similar vein of him fearing rejection, and warding himself by not getting close, this is a real vision of what he doesn’t see, the hurt and the struggle his aunt goes through trying to measure up.

[stevenmoffett]

12:00 the old ladies said that when himi went missing she came back with no memories, just a smile. She had a great experience but she couldn't remember. The grey heron also mentioned that people forget pretty quickly any experiences they had in the other world.

[andreashelley]

I love that the aunt is there too. She was probably dealing with all kinds of grief and guilt, even if she was putting on a happy face.

[cheezemonkeyeater]

"I don't know the symbolism of the parakeet king destroying the stone is."
My best guess? It's a symbol of how something the old man brought with him undid his work. He had just been telling the boy earlier that he had to be pure and perfect to keep the world alive and the boy admitted that he was neither of those things and then we get a reveal that, well, neither was the old man. I may be getting the exact details of the conversation mixed up, I haven't seen this since it was in theaters, but that was my takeaway.

Among other things, this movie was really layered.

[FishareFriendsNotFood]

I highly recommend the 'I'm an old man, f you I don't care' phase of life. 10/10, almost worth all the back pain it comes with!

[Innamoramento]

Very interesting analysis! In the original Japanese, when he warns her about her fate, she reassures him, "I'm not afraid of any fire, " and even though this might be his dreams at work, his subconscious is reconfiguring things into a peaceful and comforting alternate reality where his mom is a master of fire magic and has no fear of flames. The horror of her dying in a hospital fire is diminished by this idea that she is one with fire and doesn't fear it. Intriguing that Mahito, deep down, was rejecting Natsuko for fear he might lose her too.

[Colaschnittchen]

My grandfather died over 14 Years ago. I remembered not crying at all at the funeral, even thought we were really close. There was no sadness, no tears, no problems.

I visited his grave last week and I just started to tell him about my life and what happend since he died. It started as a joke, but once i started I couldnt stop and I turned in a sobbing mess in seconds.

Felt so good afterwards

[sundragon]

Traditionally, hula (a Polynesian dance) has 5 levels of meaning. By metaphor, The Boy and the Heron is a hula. For example, scenes involving the "grandfather" character, the tower of blocks, parakeets are elements for the Hayao & his father's level, Hayao & his son's level, the Miyazaki relationship with Studio Ghibli, the Miyazaki relationship with the anime industry, the Miyazaki relationship with the public (esp. fandom), and Hayao & himself. Everyone of those is simultaneously playing out. The film is a masterful juggling act, the most personal, and the most critical (i.e. opinionated) title of the Hayao Miyazaki's career. (It helps to understand Japanese behaviors, mythology & customs; the history of Japan; the history of Studio Ghibli; and the issues with fans for starters.)

[twitchgiggles]

Grief is love that has no place to go. That's what it's become for me. Since my mom passed away, I miss recieving her love and giving her love.

[smalltownpoetry]

An arrival episode? Yes please!!! Also a quick poem I wrote. "Sometimes, I wish my story was written with a pencil instead of a pen. To erase all the bad times, the mistakes, the what could have been. But in the end, I wouldn't trade them for anything. They made me who I am today. And to me, that's everything."

[JustAx]

the music in the intro is a cover of the trailer music to the film that is made by me. I've been watching this channel for a long while and have had great help from these two guys. especially in my relationship to my girlfriend, we've had our ups and down and I must thank cinema therapy for all the help I've gotten from all the good work they have done. And to hear my girlfriend who sings on the track in the beginning its so emotional and beautiful! Thank you! <3

[RWBYfangirl]

As a studio ghibli fan, This was my first studio ghibli movie/anime movies I watched in a movie theater and it was a good movie to see in a theaters.

[Chicoyo]

When his mom said, “I’m so lucky to have you as my son.” It made me sob because she was okay with death just because she felt lucky to have him as her son. One of my new favorite movies.