No. You Cannot Touch My Hair! | Mena Fombo | TEDxBristol

“My seven year old self learnt to tell people what I thought they wanted to hear. By the age of eight I’d convinced the other kids that my hair was made of sponge… because being black it couldn’t be made of ‘hair’.”

Through her own personal story and the hair-raising experiences of other women and girls, Mena Fombo’s TEDxBristol talk is a witty, yet compelling and sometimes dark exploration of the objectification of black women. It's an issue she has spent a lifetime experiencing and exploring, with both a political and creative lens.

Mena is the driving force behind the international campaign “No. You Cannot Touch My Hair” which has attracted contributions from people across the UK and around the world. Over half the respondents said they had their hair touched on a monthly basis by people they’d never met before. 18% said it happened every week. The vast majority described the touching as intrusive, invasive and unwelcome. 90% of those responding identified as female, and the majority were black or of mixed race origin. Some said it felt like being petted in a zoo. Mena says: “We are not animals in zoos - #DONTTOUCH”.
Mena Fombo describes herself as a British Nigerian Bristolian through and through! She is a purposeful coach, facilitator, motivational speaker, consultant and activist with a background working in the arts, the voluntary sector and educational establishments across Europe, the USA, Africa and South Asia.

She is also the founder of The OJiJi Purple Project, a Bristol based non-profit that campaigns for equality, focusing on working with black women and girls through everyday activism, connecting communities and creativity. She is the curator of Bristol’s first Black Girls
Convention.

[farisasmith]

I can't even imagine my child coming home and telling me that grown men and women made her undress to look at her! That is a horrible thing to do to anyone, but especially a child. And you can see how it still effects her. That's a lawsuit right there.

[tubbie]

I was on an exercise bike at a clinic, a physical therapist walk by, said something in reference to my Nubian Locks, reached out an touch my hair! I said immediately don't touch my hair, she pulled back in shock, like she had a right to touch me. A week or so later, the same person walked by and placed her hand on my upper back and proceed to sneak touch my locks. I was shocked! I waited until the next day, she was sitting at her desk, walked over to her; she looked as though "What is she going to do now?" I reached out and grabbed a handful of her silky thin hair. She just looked at awe at me and I back away. So far, she has not attempted to touch my hair again. I would like a t-shirt too

[AngieMusicArt]

I don’t understand why anyone would think they’re entitled to touch anything on anyone 🧐🤨🤦🏽‍♀️ I’ve been through this in my younger days and um 😐 I started smacking folks cause I felt threatened. They stopped.

[KleeQiqiXD]

One time I decided to wear my natural hair out in school. I was super excited to show it to my friends. Next thing I know a kid walks behind me and touches my hair. I freaked out and looked behind me. The kid stood there kinda frozen. I screamed at them and said, “Hey! Why’d you touch my hair!? I don’t even know you!!” They replied “Well.. your hair is sooo fluffy! I couldn’t resist!” I was clearly pissed and slapped their hand. They replied upset, “Owww! Why did you do that!?” I said “Well.. your hand just needed a slap! I couldn’t resist!” They backed off luckily.

[dontdoit]

When my mom does my hair she tells me " dont let people touch your hair your not a petting zoo"

[skyniquee]

OMG- I cannot believe I came across this, my son attended an all White school when in kindergarten and elementary. I was always at the school due to hair touching! The children were allowed to touch him. However, he was not allowed to touch their hair back. I threatened to get a Lawyer. My son would come home frustrated so much due to being told not to touch the other children’s hair. He would say mommy “they are touching my hair first “. After I went to the school unannounced-and recorded it in action. I heard it announced over the loud speaker I was in the building! That’s when things change...

[isobelle]

people are fkn weird I can't imagine going up to a stranger n playing with their hair or touching them wtf like I'm sorry but that is acc really weird

[thorisomolefe]

YouTube needs a standing ovation button next to the like button

[robins]

I feel a bit naive that I never even realized this was an issue. What an utterly bizarre thing to think it's ok to go up to anyone and stick your hands in their hair, with or without asking. I had a coworker once who had absolutely gorgeous, long curly ringlets that I always admired. So, I told her I loved her beautiful hair. Without touching it. You know, like a normal person with respect for people's personal boundaries. I don't even like it when people crowd me in line at the grocery store, I can't imagine what I would feel like if people thought it was ok to just walk up and pet my head on a regular basis. For anyone who does put up with this, I'm sorry.

[YugeYun]

I don't understand how it's not a common sense not to touch anyone in anyway without their consent. It baffles me some people don't understand it.

[queenshayla]

I applaud the speaker for raising this issue, and for reminding us of what happened to Ms. Sarah Baartman. No one should experience an unwanted touch. Period.

[gifty]

This was so touching I was moved to tears! I also believe we should add "Do not stare" to this movement. I've had people stare at me as if I'm an alien or an extinct species.

[thorisomolefe]

I'm South African and when you spoke about your shower ordeal the first thing that came to my mind was Sarah Baartman

[raconie]

"if your hair wasnt so beautiful we wouldnt touch it" EXCUSE ME? EXCUSE ME- THATS ABSURD- YOU WOULDN'T USE THAT EXCUSE FOR LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE- THATS ABSURD

[Yonnie]

AMEN 🙅🏾‍♀️ STOP ASKING TO TOUCH MY HAIR!! IM NOT A CAT.. I have had my hair touched at least 10 times since I been natural..

[MissLondonE]

When people reach out to touch my braids, I usually say "I have hair on other parts of my body....do you want to touch that too???" But I am usually told that I am being rude...well I guess I WILL BE RUDE. ✊🏽

I don't mind IF you ask and if I FEEL that it's coming from and honest, curious place (sooo...that would be people under the age of 10!)

[dakotac]

Just because I'm different from you. I'm not a pet. You may ask questions but don't touch someone you don't know.

[alanbec]

I'm a big admirer of Mena Fombo. Her clear message has deep roots showing us that racism is still with us in totally unacceptable ways. She has called us out to account - Don't Touch.

[cbryce]

As a person with a visible disability, people often "help" by pushing my chair without asking. They ask what happened to me and more. Don't touch, don't ask and mind your own business.

[yhjrtkz]

Love it. I worked as a sales associate for a few years in a place that got visitors from around the world and once a foreigner yanked my hair for my attention. I was pretty furious. More people need to be educated. Touching hair to me is like touching any other part of the body. It is ME, not YOU. Hands off.