Advice For Talking To Religious Family | Hunter-OH | The Atheist Experience 24.40

SHOW TIME-STAMPS

00:00 Intro And Announcements
04:24 Hunter-OH | Advice For Talking To Religious Family
20:02 Nat-(MX) | Ethical Problems Resolved By Theism
42:06 Ricky-(CO) | Christian Family Values And Morals
51:36 Alvin-NC | Biblical Patterns...Not Numerology?
58:48 Robert-CA | Atheism On College Application
1:02:44 Mars | God Supports Freedom Over Slavery
1:05:42 Danny-(UK) | Eye For An Eye
1:09:07 Wevvyj-MA | Evidence We Are In Apocalypse
1:10:55 Brent-CA | Struggles Using Atheist Label
1:17:46 John-NJ | Processing Vengeful Thoughts
1:29:34 G-NC | Believing Irrational Things
1:32:40 Sam-NV | Has To Be An Afterlife
1:39:47 Outro

SHOW NOTES

Hello all you atheists (and theists) out there! The hosts of today’s Atheist Experience are Matt Dillahunty and our own Jenna Belk.

Our first caller, Hunter asks our experience coming out to religious family members now that he is embracing atheism. It went badly but not the worst thing in the world, don’t make it a huge sitdown event. Also look into resources like books, forums, recovering from religion, etc.

Nat in Mexico thinks there is no way to justify an ethical point of view as an atheist and argues theism provides grounding to ethics. There is no objection to secular morals by appealing to a deity. At least we agree well being is the only rational grounding to morals, too bad we can’t agree on the definition of atheism.

Ricky in Columbia thinks people need Christianity to form the basis of a society. Actually society remains intact despite religion. Ricky can’t seem to point to a christian value that couldn’t be secular and implies LGBT people are dangerous.

Alvin in NC wrote a book about 100 provable patterns in genesis 1:1 that are way beyond chance or mortal capabilities. He then goes on to explain his proof in numerology. How do you know the rules of how to do math on the verses? This sounds like bad methodology and confirmation bias.

Robert in CA asks advice on how to talk about atheism on a college application. There shouldn't be much of a problem if it's not a religious college. Matt finds it easier to make a pro/con list and Jenna advises that if they had that kind of bias, she is not sure if she would want to attend.

Mars argues that the christian god supports freedom, not slavery. Matt points out the bible doesn’t support freedom and does endorse owning another human. Mars asks to not be taken seriously, happy to oblige.

Brent in CA asks how to get over using the atheist label when holding onto some other beliefs. Jenna points out you don't have to use any terms, you can just say you don’t believe in any gods. It takes time to work through your beliefs. Don’t beat yourself up!

John in NJ asks how to reason his thoughts of what he feels should happen to the murderer of his brother. It is understandable to have mixed thoughts about that and while we can empathize, don't let it consume your life. Looks into grief beyond belief.

G in NC asks tips for how to find out if we are using epistemology correctly. Know that you hold irrational beliefs. Skepticism is not an on/off switch and be open to changing your mind in the face of new evidence.

Last caller, Sam in NV argues there has to be an afterlife. It may seem like there should be one but where is your evidence? A gut feeling isn’t evidence and life is not fair.

Thanks for tuning in, we are so glad you joined us today. Stay safe and continue wearing masks out there.

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The Atheist Experience is a weekly call-in television show in Austin, Texas geared at a non-atheist audience. The Atheist Experience is produced by the Atheist Community of Austin.

VISIT THE ACA'S OFFICIAL WEB SITE

NOTES

TheAtheistExperience is the official channel of The Atheist Experience. "The Atheist Experience" is a trademark of the ACA.

The views and opinions expressed by hosts, guests, or callers are their own and not necessarily representative of the Atheist Community of Austin.

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[TheRealCatof]

I feel sorry for anyone who's parents love a fairy tale more than their own children. Hearing stories of christians lose their shit when a child doesn't believe their disproven fairy tales makes me feel really glad my parents were atheists.

[captainkirkmusic]

When I came out to my parents at the age of 15 I was kicked out and homeless for 3 weeks. Homeless 3 weeks age 15. My mother begged my stepdad not too. But in order to save the rest of the family from damnation I had to
Of course I went back and pretended to believe for the next couple years just to save up and move out when I was 18. Which I did.
I'm 26 now my mom divorced that guy and ironically now were all athiest and finally free and happy

[Mark]

Listening to and reading these experiences only makes me appreciate how much easier it is to go through this process here in the UK. It really isnt an issue here.

[howdoyouknow]

Coming out to Christians sure is a good way to see what kind of people they really are though, huh?

[rcchristian]

Atheist experience. Crushing moms since 1997!

[zoggdawg]

This is some good advice. Lucky for me, my parents are okay with my atheism.
Usually if I have to deal with some wacko I just ask them to explain themselves, and to provide sources and specific details about what theyre talkimg Usually they get pretty fed up. LOL. One of my friends is a pretty hard core anti sciencey theist, but he's terrible at explaining what he means and I can pick apart his arguments fairly well.

[computernerdtechman]

Some Christians are taught to be judgmental and fire and brimstone and some Christians are taught to live a life of love and forgiveness and not to judge others (as Jesus did). Luckily my parents were the latter and when I came out to them as an atheist, they accepted it and our relationship is stronger now than before. I am currently living with them now and we have an unwritten agreement that we don't try to impose our beliefs (or non beliefs) on the other. I don't try to convert them to atheisms and they don't try to convert me to becoming a Christian. So not all outcomes are bad ones. My advise to someone who is an atheist with a Christian family is to come out slowly with little hints here and there to put the concept in the back of their mind. This way when it finally comes out it is not a shock they can't process.

[jasonimports]

The best thing that came out of this was the simple mantra:

"If you care about someone, speak directly to them, don't get it second hand."

Know where you stand with each individual in your life, and know how they feel about is where truth comes from in life.

[LuckyLu]

Found your channel via Owen at Telltale Atheist. Had to subscribe.

[bct]

I don't like the idea of Atheists pussyfooting around family and friends for fear of rocking the boat.
It's self serving, even if you're doing it to protect the feelings of others.
We are the healed, and we have a responsibility to future generations to help heal as many in our lives as we possibly can.
If you are cast out by your family, that is the price you must pay for living an honest life, and that is the point of living as an Atheist.
Honesty before all else.
Rock that boat.

[fitzmullin]

I've never had any pressure of any kind put on me, for my lack of belief. I'm shocked that people have to go through such pain, in what I thought was a free country. Obviously not free to believe what you want. The world is full of a lot of small minded people it seems.

[callscreenerpaul]

My family took a long time to come to terms with my atheism. I told them at a time in my life when I was very angry, very hurt and I just threw it in their faces, which looking back was very much NOT the way to handle it. At this point we've come to a truce of sorts. They know its not "just a phase" and don't try to bring me back to the fold, and I don't point out the inconsistencies and hypocrisies of their faith when they tell me what is going on at church.

[LOwens-xfyo]

Coming out is easiest if it’s done nonchalantly, mentioned in passing in a conversation, then re-direct. It puts the burden on the other person to bring the subject up again. If pushed, agree, act bored, & keep re-directing.

As in: No, I’m not finding much interest in church these days, but I did find a new place I like called X, have you been there? What? Yeah, I guess I might end up in Hades, but until then I’d really love to check out this great ….

[geraldammons]

I would bet that there are a lot more people in your and my situation than we think. I will not give any advice, though, because every situation is different.

[anthonyweedonweedon]

'Sabbath' is the Hebrew (Jewish) name for what we call 'Saturday' in English and it is the Jewish 'rest' or 'holy day'. It runs from sunset on Friday to sunset on Saturday.

[jeffreyballinger]

My coming out as an Atheist was by natural conversation to my parents through one of my Navy experiences as an Atheist, a Muslim and a Christian (me and a couple of my buddies) perfectly got along with each other. My folks played Twenty Questions with me like, "Does the devil scare you?" or "Do you believe in heaven?" I was honest and told them about proof and the Christian means of mind control in a respectful way. After that, the subject was done. We moved on and I still have the love of my parents.

[farvector]

I came out to my family recently. My wife had a rough couple days, I really didn't know how she would come down on it. My Dad is a pastor, so I told my mom first, she told me that she was unsurprised and that it would be the same with my dad. But despite my wife getting justifiably upset, everyone wound up being as good as I think it gets. I feel very lucky.

[brittany.harden]

Thank you caller!!! I'm struggling with this same thing. My thought process has been I know how they are and how they feel why should I intentionally hurt them, especially go out of my way to do so. I love how Matt I said to do it gradually I think I would feel more comfortable doing it that way rather than hit them with it all at once. Maybe it would make the process better all the way around in my little circle. Does anyone have any advice or stories they could share with me. It terrifies me because I do love my family and I don't know what will happen. I'm scared it'll burn that bridge forever...

[ralfhaggstrom]

This whole "religious" thing is so Fucking Sick !

[aamonrex]

If you care more about your religion than your own kid, you don't care all that much about your children and not sure why you even have them. It is not possible for another real human being to agree with you about everything. They will disagree with you, they will disagree with you about religion(even if they have the same religion as you.). For two human beings to agree about every single thing is absolutely impossible and excepting such a thing is pure insanity.