Stopped from Seeing Grandchildren? Here's What to Do

HOW TO HANDLE WHEN YOU'RE STOPPED FROM SEEING YOUR GRANDCHILDREN// In this video, I talk about how to handle when your adult child is stopping you from seeing your grandchildren. Perhaps your adult child is in a bad place and your grandchildren are suffering, or you're estranged and haven't seen your grandchildren in a long time.
0:00 - Introduction
1:13 - Circumstances can vary
1:53 - 1) You have no control over the situation (except when...)
2:40 - 2) Remind yourself that your own anger can be destructive
3:10 - 3) Handle it the same way
4:06 - Look at yourself
4:47 - If your grandchildren are older...
6:04 - In conclusion
You are not alone on this journey. Even when you feel most lost, there’s always a way to find hope again.

Faith over fear, my friends.
As always, Sally Harris—Moms of Defiant Adult Kids Expert

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[gailfernandes]

How could we ever have known that the children that we loved and adored and gave up so much for - for so many years could actively hurt us in their adult lives - but this happens so often - it happened to me and turned my life and my sanity upside down - thank you Sally for making us all aware of how much this really does happen and for giving us the very best advise - so very grateful to you

[stormyrivers]

It's heartbreaking when an adult child literally uses their young children as pawns to manipulate and/or hurt those whom truly love them (which hurts the children also). Even more heartbreaking is to see a grandchild end up in the nightmarish DCS system, and all the trauma that goes along with that. To feel helpless is painful & depressing. Learning to "detach" is immensely difficult. 💔

[leslieg]

I have 3 grandchildren that I have not seen for two years. I pray everyday for them and I have bought 3 small tubs that I can write them letters and give them small gifts and cards and someday when they are older I have faith that they will get these tubs and they will know that I love them and that I wanted a relationship with them. It helps me to cope with the loss and someday it may help them to heal from the loss.

[lynnejakins]

This has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through. Not being able to see our precious grand children . I cry a lot and worry about them, where do they think we have gone. With the pandemic adding stress to our lives as well . How are they doing with masks at school. Do they have to have shots all of the things we would normally be informed about are left to our imagination . They had a special bond with us and cried when they had to leave us after visits . They brought so much joy into our lives. I am pretending to be strong and happy but it is always just under the surface, the anguish and hole in my heart.

[joycebillings]

it is trully devastating, my heart has been broken into a million bits. Its been 4 years since I last saw my son and grandchildren, and I still cry everyday.

[broadcastdiva]

These children I have are in their 30's...the entitled generation. Been a single mother and did everything for them. I knew beforehand while in therapy my son was going to do this to me. Him and his girlfriend constantly going back and forth not deciding whether I am the not interested grandparent or the grandparent that "needs boundaries" and always using my grandchildren as a bargaining tool. My daughter is about to give birth. I can see the signs already with her too. First, I find I am walking on eggshells because every little thing she seems offended. Then she told me, once her child is born she wants time alone with her and her husband. I supported that. Then a couple days ago she told me that she needs to talk to me about boundaries before her child is born. She said she doesn't want me to judge her on how she parents so she never wants to hear my parental opinion. When I had my children I respected what my mother told me on how to care for them. Oh how times have changed!

[johntuohy]

"Reminding" my daughter of anything is currently impossible as she blames me for her difficulties and accuses me of abusing my beautiful 2 yr old grandaughter. The vindictiveness towards me is boundless and as hurtful as possible. I am exasperated and exhausted and can no longer argue or defend or explain to no end and to no avail.
I keep my mouth shut and my door open and whatever peace salvageable is guarded at all costs.

[JesusChristisLordH]

Thank you for addressing this! My no contact/estranged daughter is pregnant. Some of my friends are sending her gifts and letting me know. It is great that they want to be a blessing, but it hurts. It is better for me not to be in my soon to be born grandchild's life because my daughter has been abusive to me. I would not want my grandchild to be exposed to how I am treated by my daughter and my other daughter. I do not want this child to be brought into this mess. My requests to talk and reconcile had all been ignored. We have zero communication, there is nothing I can do when I am shut out. It is humiliating to hear about my daughters from friends. I accept that I will never know my granddaughter...just as I had to accept no invite to the wedding.

[kimbers]

It's pretty awful. It's called ambiguous grief. Never ending. I talk to my son almost daily. But his wife has him terrified. She called the law on me and my other son. Of course they saw no indication of anything. The CPS case was closed as well as the police case. But here we are. No grandchildren and no relationship between my sons. Without God I could not have survived it. In the beginning I begged Him to take me home. But clearly He has other plans for me.

[lc]

This advice would never work in my situation. My son is a narcopath. He does not respect me, does not care about my feelings at all. He cannot be reasoned with. I've begged and pleaded. He normally doesn't listen to anything i have to say or read my texts. He just assumes things and runs with it. He states he is in control and no one else. He treats me very badly, has even laughed at me when I've cried. I have finally gone no contact. As Irealize he is playing games with me and isn't ever going to let me see them anymore and I can't deal with his toxicity anymore. He is using it as torture. I can only hope that someday they will want to see me when they are grown in 17 years. If they haven't been poisoned against me.

[Somelady]

I know I don’t have control but it sure makes me resent my daughter when she’s damaging her own daughter’s relationship with her grandparent (me) - for her own spiteful gain and she doesn’t seem to care.

[susie]

There is absolutely no pain in the world like losing the ability to be with beloved grandchildren… except for seeing how cruel your child (who you have deeply loved) is capable of being. I’ve been cut off Instagram, but my sister shares pictures that have been posted and seeing them looking sad is crushing.

[veronicavasquez]

I have three adult children. They all seem to take turns who is hurting me. By far my middle daughter ( 33) is hurting me the most right now. She seems to have been building resentment for last 2 years or maybe longer. Right when I got custody of 2 of my grandchildren from my oldest daughter. I have adopted them and now raising a 8yr and 4 yr. This seems to be when things went downhill even worse. She just delated me off Facebook and caught off ties. So I don't see my grandchildren her daughters now. The reason why is cause her and my son got in verbal dispute A YEAR AGO ! This didn't even involve me. She is saying by having my son over for the holidays that I am choosing my son over her and her daughters. She wanted her own date to come to my grandsons bday party or any family gatherings . I just couldn't do all that. I went to her house on xmass very strained but I saw the grandkids briefly. I cry all the time because my grandkids are not a part of the grown up drama. I honestly think she hates me ..

[NcScbeach]

I’ve tried talking and it doesn’t do any good. Silence is my new response

My Granddaughters loved me and always wanted me to see them. The oldest Granddaughter came in from a Church Christmas program and jumped up and down and said she prayed I would be there. Well I was there to pick up my purse I left and both girls cried when my Daughter In law said no one can stay the night . They both cried and the oldest is the one who needed me the most . I was able to encourage her in a way that she needed.


My heart still breaks because I went from seeing her to Not and it’s been 3 years! I don’t want her to think I abandoned her!

[noragelineau]

It took me ( a single parent ) about 10 years to finally get it. I will get to see my grandchildren when my daughter and son in law say I can. Period.
I’m 70 now and I had to change my thinking. Acceptance & stop feeling sorry for myself. I am active, love life, garden, go out, etc.
I did the following:
No guilt to daughter
No crying, no emotional outburst
Stay in wise mind, calm confident
Write in a journal
I still send gifts, cards, etc. to GK’s.
When I do see them it’s joy, my opportunity to hug and tell them I love them.
I take what I get and be thankful for that.
Yes, it hurts. Yes, I still have moments, & I make sure I live a good life. You can do this. Love is always there for my grandkids.
Now, 16, 14, & 12 years old.

[peacefulwarrior]

Its about power, control and rhe shapong of narcissim as an adult . It cruel and evil.

[shellyscholz]

I was told that I cannot speak to my children or grandchildren. At the time I had no idea that anyone was pregnant but they could have been. So the result is that I don’t even know if I am a grandmother. It’s worth noting that the abusive parent died five years ago and I am the only parent left to blame/punish.

[georgespeirs]

It never fails every time I watch one of these videos and it’s talking about a relationship between a parent and a child or parents and grandchild it’s always referred to as the mother, all of these online therapist should realize there are fathers out there too it may be having the same issues

[genxbeyotch]

I recently had to stop going to my daughter's home to save my own mental health. I've been in therapy for Childhood trauma for 5 months, and she's married into a family that triggers me so badly that I stopped eating, my panic attacks were daily and my 6 year sobriety was threatened. I was in my therapist's office having a complete meltdown 2 weeks ago, and she helped me send a message to let my daughter know I cannot babysit anymore due to my own mental health issues. Watching this video was so hard; I know I was not a perfect mom, but my daughter was/is very loved. But she responded to my message with blame/shame. I'm so heartbroken over my 3 grandchildren because now she's avoiding me. All three of them bring me so much joy, and now I have nothing to get out of bed for 💔

[whyme]

Hello first time on your channel my daughter is doing this to me as we speak. She ask me to baby sit for weeks and when i take them home she cussing me out without a thank you and block me and stop my grandkids from seeing me 😭 it truly hurts to the core i am so depressed and sad bit i cant not keep her kids for a month and have doctor appointment just got over form being down with the flu and stil had them. I feel used and unappreciated unloved as if i was wrong i have been the one who been by her side thick and thin i am so sad thank you for read and listen to me i really needed this