the most important step I took to live well - ending the negative cycle

Thank you!

When I was trying to recover from severe anxiety I found a lot of wonderful support online, but also - naturally - a lot of negativity as well. I noticed a trend of ‘acceptance’, of people claiming that mental health was something that couldn’t be improved, and that I just had to accept my situation. Now, perhaps this is true for some people, I really don’t know, but I found that believing this hindered my personal journey, stealing my ability to find courage and confidence in myself; to believe I can change and grow. Our belief in our ability to do hard things is so crucial. I simply wanted to encourage all of you to believe in yourself when faced with challenges ❤️

The root of my anxiety has always been quite negative: negative thinking patterns, despairing thoughts, worrying about the future, assuming the worst will happen, doom-scrolling, believing I am powerless. These are common feelings. As a human population spanning centuries, we seem to often fall into negative patterns and seek out negativity, to find reasons to judge and criticize. And again, I am not saying this is necessarily bad. Maybe being negative doesn’t affect you at all - but in my personal case, I’ve found it to be unhelpful. I need to balance this way of thinking with positive beliefs. How I negatively or positively I react to my external world directly reflects how I feel within. I hope this reflection today encourages you to simply consider whether or not your beliefs about yourself and the world around you are aiding in your growth or not ❤️ and honestly, I can only speak from my experience, so perhaps none of this applies to you, I don’t know, but I’m glad we can connect and share insights. Sending much love and light. lot of wonderful support online, but also - naturally - a lot of negativity as well. I noticed a trend of ‘acceptance’, of people claiming that mental health was something that couldn’t be improved, and that I just had to accept my situation. Now, perhaps this is true for some people, I really don’t know, but I found that believing this hindered my personal journey, stealing my ability to find courage and confidence in myself; to believe I can change and grow. Our belief in our ability to do hard things is so crucial. I simply wanted to encourage all of you to believe in yourself when faced with challenges ❤️

The root of my anxiety has always been quite negative: negative thinking patterns, despairing thoughts, worrying about the future, assuming the worst will happen, doom-scrolling, believing I am powerless. These are common feelings. As a human population spanning centuries, we seem to often fall into negative patterns and seek out negativity, to find reasons to judge and criticize. And again, I am not saying this is necessarily bad. Maybe being negative doesn’t affect you at all - but in my personal case, I’ve found it to be unhelpful. I need to balance this way of thinking with positive beliefs. How I negatively or positively I react to my external world directly reflects how I feel within. I hope this reflection today encourages you to simply consider whether or not your beliefs about yourself and the world around you are aiding in your growth or not ❤️ and honestly, I can only speak from my experience, so perhaps none of this applies to you, I don’t know, but I’m glad we can connect and share insights. Sending much love and light.

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[TheCottageFairy]

Hoping I can offer some encouragement and warmth in this video! It was so interesting to read about the research behind the power of finding beauty and meaning in the midst of challenges, of being kind to yourself and others, and to have a healthy sense of optimistism in regards to life, despite pain and fear. So powerful to see how these people live longer lives and can more easily find a balance and regulate stress. I’m not there yet, I have a far ways to go, but I am inspired, and wanted to send you all some love.

A therapist that was helpful to me in regards to anxiety was Therapy in a Nutshell on youtube (but there are so many others too that may fit you better!), as well as books on mindfulness and meditation. I took these insights, combined it with my personal spirituality, worked on consistency and believing that I have an identity and innate value beyond labels, and that I can overcome challenges in my own unique way. Healing and thriving looks different for everyone, what it is to me may not be the same for you. But I encourage you to try to see light in dark places, because it seems our minds and bodies respond to it in amazing ways, and work to aid us in that pursuit. ❤️

[CammyHell]

These videos are going to be such a beautiful legacy for your child one day.

[TheDreamer]

I saw a video recently about someone saying, the person you're in a relationship forever is yourself. You are always with yourself. Why are you making that an abusive relationship? And it finally made me understand the whole self love, inner child, etc thing. I don't want to be abusive to anyone, much less myself. It's really helpful to make me catch all the ways I put myself down or criticize myself or else am just so mean. I didn't even realize the habits I got into. So very slowly I'm finally trying and learning what it means to be kinder to myself, without it being an egotistical thing, without fearing that I'm "letting myself off the hook" or being overly self-indulgent of weaknesses/faults. Wishing all of us positive growth and gentle hearts. Thank you Paola. 💞

[calypso]

What I can share:
One can be friendly with people. As a customer in a store, as a hairdresser, as a mechanic, as a professor, as whatever you find yourself in whatever situation.
It comes back and warms your heart. ❤

[marykaydavis]

I love seeing life grow in you in so many ways. You are a blessing to those that share in your life's journey. The calm that you inspire, your music, your thoughts, even your holistic crafting, give me such joy. Thank you.❤

[cynthiatreynor]

You are on the right path! As a former sad and angry person, I can tell you for certain, looking at life with positive thoughts and feelings is a far better way to live. I'm not a very peoply person. But whenever I can, I try to brighten the day of others that I come in contact with. Mutual respect and kindness are so important to your inner happiness. I know that I have felt so wounded by others mistreatment of me in the past that I began to just hate on all of them. No more. I do not allow others to rock my boat and I do my best to help theirs float❤

[paultrubey]

I will be sixty one next month. In 2020 I remembered experiencing ongoing sexually abused at age nine through ten by three people in my neighborhood as a kid.
My life changed as tons of puzzle pieces of my entire life came together with lots of grieving and pain.
Your videos have been a gift to me which has helped me to be present in the moment and to rediscover my true self. Being present with simple intention and noticing and feeling grateful for the miracles of nature around me and on my farm has been a big piece of my healing. I want to say thank you. You are a beautiful light in the world.

[sallybourne]

I so agree that positivity has a huge effect on our health and wellbeing. There’s a little poem,
“Two men looked out from prison bars
One saw mud and the other saw stars”.
None of us can be star gazers all the time of course.

[Umbra_Magna]

I'm so glad you touched on the topic of people who say, "If you were able to recover, it was never really that bad." I can't even begin to remember how many people I've encountered like that on social media, perfectly content to complain about problems but suddenly becoming bitter when they see someone recovering. It's good that social media has given us a way to talk about things like anxiety (especially since, until recently, it wasn't socially acceptable to talk about mental health), but the problem is that a lot of people sort of stay there in that venting state and don't actually take the steps necessary to recover because they genuinely believe it isn't possible. And then, of course, when they see someone else recover, they become convinced that that person's anxiety and depression weren't real. And not only does that harm their chances of recovery. It's also disrespectful to the people who do recover, because it invalidates how hard they had to work to get where they wanted to go. It's fine to talk about it when you're struggling, but at the end of the day, you've got to get back on the horse and start riding again, or you'll never get anywhere.

[stacyrosa]

My Dear, I just turned 62, and I am so inspired by your musings, and crafting! I am struggling at the moment, but you always bring back my appreciation for life❤

[__rishikasingh]

That frame where you and Luke are together watching hot air balloons is the best shot of your entire YouTube video journey!!! ❤❤❤
It has my entire heart !!!!

[lorifalk]

I have a granddaughter that suffers from anxiety. Love your statement: "You are capable, you are strong and your soul desires growth and healing."

[yuleham]

Your child will be a very lucky one, the world needs more mothers like you

[bryonmacpherson]

Wonderful Video Poala. I am older, okay, much older than you(great grandparent) and life has been pretty good. There have been many challenges, but the older I get, the more in awe and appreciation I am. Your sense of cultivating a grounded optimistimism is consistent with my experience. Wishing you well! 😀

[debrakintzing]

I love how your cat is always so intently interested and engaged in everything you do. What a sweetheart!

[autumneve]

I've been watching you since I was about 15, I'm 19 now, and you've given me such a hope for my future and such a positive outlook on the world.

[morrigans_cottage]

Your story has been a big inspiration to my own decision to buy a little cottage in rural Ireland to live a slower more peaceful life! Thank you for sharing ❤

[BethanyPlatt]

Anybody who says that you are stuck with whatever mental health issue you have and can't heal from it, just doesn't want to put in the work to feel better. They would rather stay trapped because it is comfortable and less effort. I used to get massive panic attacks and anxiety attacks, and my depression was very severe. Now, I am not "cured, " but I am much better, and there are more days of light than darkness. It was a lot of work to get here, but I am very glad I did.

[Catlily]

I can't believe that so many people told you that anxiety could not be improved. All of my therapists said that anxiety could be handled better.
Breathing exercises have helped me a lot.

[debbiewilder]

I call that positiveness, hope in Christ. I cant do it on my own But it's an interdependent relationship where I have to do the best I can and He covers the rest and even though I'm still sad and grieving some things that I've lost, my hope is inJjesus that I can get past this and b present and live the rest of my life. ♡❤ God bless you your baby and your husband.