Is There Any Hope for Unhealthy Relationships?

On today’s show, we hear about:
- A woman shocked after learning her fiancé has been using methamphetamine
- A woman wondering if boundaries are enough to keep her mother’s toxic habits out of her life
- A single father fighting depression and struggling to hold on to hope

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As heard on this episode:

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[elizabethpieters]

1. It's OK to permanently cut contact with biological relatives to protect your peace and mental well-being. It's NOT selfish.
2. Forgiveness doesn't equal Reconciliation. You can forgive someone and still cut all contact with them.

[crewboy]

Dr.John, I was like you, “I couldn’t do that” when it comes cutting parents off. Then my mother in law happened Actually being in it and seeing what my wife has delt with her whole life. Now Im like if thats the best decision for you, leave them high and dry and ill be here to support.

[dahliacheung]

Dr. John, I thought you really hit it out of the park talking to Z. I'm in a different place in life than him, younger with no kids, but I really relate to his feelings and experiences and what it's like to suffer with major depressive disorder and feel as if you can't go on and my depression started in very early childhood. I've also known what it's like to get better and stop taking medication and I spent a little over four years off it.

Then the depression came back so I'm again on a low dose of meds and thankful for it as they saved me from making a terrible and permenant decision. I'm a lot better now but I still struggle despite also having an amazing counselor so your words on this call were extremely impactful. They were exactly what I needed to hear and more.

The empathy and wisdom and honesty you put out into the world is so important and impactful. Thank you for doing what you do.

[christinamarcille]

"If you want to find out someone's struggling with find what they're self righteous about"
Awesome !

[LCC]

I went no contact with my dad (step dad but my only dad) for about 8 years. After that it was low contact, but with very firm boundaries. You do what you have to do to have the greatest peace of mind.
He's been dead five years this last September and I still sometimes get sad about the life we didn't get to have as me being an adult and him having grandkids.
He was unmedicated bipolar. Such a sad waste.

[Fryjnkk]

I'm literally crying. Z sounds like such a kind and gentle soul. I understand him too well, better than I want to admit. I hope he has wonderful friends who he can trust. He deserves to have people who can support and love him and help him to see how valuable and important he is. I hope he learns to really believe that. Please hang in there, Z. Please keep believing, keep hoping. Keep celebrating your little wins. The older I get the more I realize how fkn real that is, it really REALLY is about the little wins. You got this, Z, you got

[TBIhope]

I love listening to this show. JD, I met you in the summer of 2021 when my mom and I went to see the recording of the Ramsey show. I wasn’t a listener at that point, but I quickly became a big fan of yours! I wish I could meet you again and tell you thank you this time!

[farmermarshall]

If someone tells me "don't do it" but you're going to do it even though you know it's a train wreck waiting to happen?!? Please get MORE counseling!

[shadeekamendez]

*I heard someone say, "The fact that you are still alive means that GOD STILL HAS A PLAN FOR YOU* ...*This message for anyone that feels like they cannot go on*.. * Life was not created for you to end it* * there is/are still reasons for you to be alive. *TRUST THAT*

[tinam]

Wow! Powerful show … thank you to ALL of the callers for their vulnerability. ❤ I relate in some way to all of them. You’re not alone … keep moving forward to a healthier you.

[nicolewimbish]

Dr.John, is awesome. Thank you, for what you do. People call in sounding so heavy to sounding so light. You can feel the hope they needed before calling in.

[Tarasyoutube]

The thing I see is when the parent actually evolves/HEALS BACK/grows into a better person and wants the role and can handle the role and isn't the bad part of what happened THAT can turn into a good relationship, a really good one even, that the (/adult or older) child is blessed and happy to have. That's the key. In that case the kid can also have room to say what the need to say, too, cause it's an open doorway to another chance.

[jackilynpyzocha]

My dad is the person I can't and won't deal with. No contact suits me. He is negative and a controller. I am 60, I don't want or need his nonsense!

[dannmurray]

You can hear the sigh of relief when someone hears the words..."me too, you're not alone".

[Fryjnkk]

Oh man, doc, I can't get over how well you did with Z. God bless you. Thank you for being honest and compassionate and for genuinely caring about your fellow human beings.

[CarlaCecelia]

Dr John … I can’t imagine what you go through internally giving so much of yourself to those that need your voice … peace be with you

[jduf]

I love John's empathy ...could feel it a lot with Stephanie .

[toscadonna]

If you have to ask that question, the answer is, “No.” Stay away from the schizophrenics. My uncle is one, and he strangled my grandmother and attacked my father with an axe. You will have a lifetime of trauma with them.

[redzin]

My experience is that a lot of religious people don't understand reconciliation. It doesn't mean letting them into your world to wreck you.

People with dysfunction, addiction or other problems carry that with them everywhere they go and the overlap into your life can/will cause issues.

Even God Himself upholds boundaries. Theyre a good thing. 👍🏻

[hommy]

Good for you Stephanie! Al-Anon is such a positive, healthy, affirmative, arms-wide-open organization. So many good books are available for your situation, to help guide and walk you through this.