Enneagram Type 4 Individualists as Children

During childhood, each enneagram type has a distinct pattern of life-defining experiences that influence the expression of their personality as adults. This is what ENNEAGRAM TYPE 4 INDIVIDUALISTS typically (broad generalization alert!) experience during their earliest years.

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[christinedjb]

As a 4 in my childhood, I can remember I was never affirmed by my parents.

[ashleyching]

Outsider in home
Creates world outside family
Seeks rescuer
Needed imagination affirmed
Frustrated with authority

[alcestis]

I ranted to my mother about this today. And then this video was recommended. Well played, FBI.

[misstryst]

Wow, just discovered this and yes to all of that. Literal spoken invalidation from parents as a child. Interesting.

[Buddy_]

Was raised by my dad and grandparent. Not simultaneously, but flip flopped back and forth. Both had different parenting styles and environment to raise kids.
It was a helluva ride.

[Willlly]

Holy... I've been struggling with understanding the core "complex" of the 4 for almost a year now. Not saying that it would be quick to do. But I think this might be the most accurate point, and explicit description I've come across. Thank you for that!

[KathBorup]

I had a great childhood but my parents were much older when they had me.
I found I loved being alone because I was free in my imagination.

[EmmyWuMedia]

Okay, you just spoke my childhood out loud.

[princeofcrystal]

As a 4 I was always very close to my mother who is a 2 with strong 3 characteristics and 4 traits as well (she is a painter), even though 4 isnt one of her wings.

[juwariyahzubair]

I grew in a sensor dominated household i was the only intuitive in my family during my childhood years also the 2nd child who all time envied my older bro who was a total opposite of me so e4 was veryyy obvious

[Karynwashere]

I hate being a 4… it’s a world of emotional torment.

[Lionhearted]

I’ve always felt aligned with this type but I was always really close with one parent while the other was abusive. So idk what that means. But I was always in my imagination, uniquely and usually alone, even as a child. And the rest of the type has always been accurate.

[Banayaga]

I don't know if the words "rescuer" and "imagination" are a good way to represent it. I was displeased with the home. It didn't feel like a home or a family of that matter because there was a lack of love and emotional support. I saw happiness in other families and seeked escape through spending time with theirs. I saw hope that there is a possibility of having a happy home and family through them, and l accepted mine just wasn't one.

[ricard]

Very good and necessary video, thank you. But "loving and ever present parents" who, my goodness!, "dismiss explicitly or subtly the reality of the children 4s". It's always the same tune. The absurd catholic need of justifying parents at all costs, and thus culpabilising children.

[somenuttysquirrel]

Are these people doomed to a life of hopeless self-expression, being a giant "feeling" processors?... Do I have the capability to turn one of them into a "dull, joe shmoe" farmer without them imploding?

...tough times ahead, I need all hands on deck.

[me_lero]

You're describing type 9. 9w1 specifically with perfectionistic tendencies. 4 is not an attachment type.