No one cares about you 😐

[ayowolf]

That doesnt mean they dont care about you, it just means they dont remember dates that arent important to them. I bet OP doesnt know all his friends birthdays either

[anyagee]

And how many birthdays do YOU remember? How many people do you call? How many people do you give a cake to?

[melissasaint]

I wonder if OP always remembered and celebrated the birthdays of friends without being prompted or reminded? 🤔

[JeeZwriter]

Eh, dates are hard to remember. The fact they did all that for you means they care.

[greapesouda]

Main character syndrome at its finest. All jokes aside, though it is great OP is donating, it is *not* other people’s responsibility to remember the dates of every friend/person in their life that they know, and it is unrealistic to expect them to do so. Heck, I forget it’s my own birthday until *my* friends remind me. This whole post really gives main character energy, and I’m quite happy that they wallow in their self-pity, rather than getting validation from others. /hj

[seal]

Never expect people like friends and none immediate family members to remember your birthday. And never go like, “Heeheehee! Let’s see how many remember!” Because it will most likely be upsetting. Tell people when your birthday is, so they can plan. The world doesn’t revolve around you, not even on your birthday. People forget, people get busy, and some people just don’t know. Your existence is important. People value your existence, don’t think for even a second that, “Oh well, they forgot my birthday. Guess they don’t care.” That’s ridiculous.

[Human-lghb]

I actually tried to have a birthday party for my 20th birthday party (last year). I invited all my friends from uni and none of them could come, except my two old friends from middle school. Honestly I was upset but on the day I was kinda happy that it was just us three, we had fun and I paid for all of us, so it wasn’t that expensive. Now for my 21st birthday I invited no one from uni, I don’t care anymore, my two friends from middle school are enough for me.

[WateverWatever]

My mom died when I was age 20. I was working to get myself thru University so i wouldnt graduate with debt. She died in Sept and I was taking course overload (more courses than ur supposed to in a semester) while also doing a mentorship course. Too much stress broke my central nervous system and I became disabled. I didnt know it at the time and i just thought i was depressed and thats why i "couldnt move" (my legs would buckle if i tried to walk, i had constant migraines, etc.) I was really hard on myself tbh, I thought I was being a bitch baby about my grief. I'm the youngest in my family and everyone lived at home per our culture. On my good days I tried to make our house the way my mom always kept it our whole lives. I cleaned, I cooked, I did people's emotional labor like making doctor appts, coaching them thru big career moves/educational moments, being there through break-ups and dating etc. I stayed up all night before holidays to bake all the same treats my mom would make. I made sure everyone remembered birthdays and got what they wanted. I went so far as to cut up fruit for my dad. My mom was the linchpin to our lives and I didn't want anyone to feel her absence if there were ways I could fill that hole. The problem was when I would be ignored. That's fine, I'm the youngest I'm used to no one treating me seriously. But when I am cooking chicken and I tell you "don't touch the sink" and turn my back to look at the stove, only to hear you using the sink, I get upset. I was ignored _constantly_ and when I brought it up I was apparently being "dramatic". In trying so hard to make sure people weren't drowning in _their_ grief I accidentally trained all my siblings & my dad to treat me like their servant. But i also didnt have the authority my mom wielded so they treated me like shit. Ex. No one else wanted to wash any dishes so I washed all of them once a day (2 sinks full) but apparently it was too much work to clean off the plates before putting them down. Once my dad left his nail clippings on the plate (which like _gag_ first of all, not where u eat dude!). But of course I should bc im not in school and I'm not working so I have to provide _something_ into the house. That's how my family thought and that's how I thought too. Eventually my pain and symptoms got worse and worse. I literally do *not* remember 2018. Aliens could have shown up and I wouldn't have known bc i was bed ridden and barely conscious lol. So I started going to doctors bc even if it was depression it wasn't going away even w me doing therapeutic techniques (CBT). This is how I learned something *_was_* wrong w me physically but it would take 2 more years to diagnose. I almost died twice during that time. My quality of life has drastically reduced. I have brain damage and have lost almost 10 IQ points (I was v proud of my IQ and my ability to get scholarships for Uni to help pay for it. As a low income person this was my only lifeline, other than trading tremendous debt for a degree.) This is when I began to realize that I did things for my family but any time *_I_* needed something, I was shrugged off. I needed car rides to the doctor (can't drive w my condition), I was told to take a cab (with what money?? I can't work??). I asked my dad for meds money bc i was a lil short and he told me to ask my sister, which is embarassing to have to beg every family member until one decides im their problem. Funny enough, not even a week after he said no to helping me w meds, he bought a PS5 for his new stepkids. Not PS4. PS5 (my dad got remarried barely 2 years after my mom died). Eventually I figured out how to pay for myself, bc I thought "I dont pay rent im being ungrateful". The world slowed during covid and though i was afraid of the virus bc of my impacted immune system, it gave me the ability to catch up w appts and dig myself out of my illness at least a little. I was finally tentatively diagnosed right before my 24th bday. When my 24th bday did roll around, I asked for 1 thing: *help.* Including financial help for 1 year do I can get my shit together and go back to school/working. I could pay for my meds and doct apps, etc. but I couldn't swing groceries. If they bought me groceries for 1 year – age 24 to age 25 – I'd be set. They agreed to it. But they didnt actually provide. I had to beg multiple times a month and some months I didn't get it. I got 60 bucks for 4 months one time. I made it stretch (skipped out on meds if needed to pay for food). It's not that they couldn't afford it. I got "hand me downs" of Steve Madden, Swarovski, and Micheal Kors. Those were more important than me eating ig. Eventually I stopped asking. My dad got remarried barelt 2 years after my mom died. Halfway thru that 24th year where I asked for a single year to get my shit together, my dad sold the house our mom bought us and downsized so that he could use the funds to bring his new wife from her foreign country and buy her gold jewelry/take her on lavish trips. My dad is almost 70 and this lady is 10 years older than my oldest sister. Gross. I singlehandedly boxed up our house so that none of my moms stuff got lost in the move. It caused me to regress in my illness so badly that I was bedridden for 4 months – something that hadn't happened since 2018. And people's response was? Silence or resentment. They didn't notice I was unwell until I didn't do something they needed. Sometimes my dad would wake me up out of my sleep to do tasks for him at midnight or 2am or even 6am.
*That's* how I knew no one cared. If I'm not providing something for them, I don't matter. Cool. Now I'm getting my finances together and leaving. I may have wasted my 20s (I'm 26 now) but I'm not going to waste my _life._ All things considered I turned out ok. Things could have been worse my family could have been actively cruel rather than careless. I could have a bunch of school debt hanging over my head. Realistically I'm fine thankfully. I just thought I had a tight knit family before my mom died and it sucks realizing they don't give a fuck. Sorry for the long post I didn't realize how badly I needed to get this out.

[cheesemustard]

i’m 15 and no one reaches out. i’m not mean or annoying, that’s not even me trying to be oblivious to my issues. people just don’t really care enough about me to reach out. i asked my best friend who she’d go up to in a room full of people she’s known and i wasn’t in her top 3. people care just enough to say they like me and my company but not enough to pursue anything. i reach out. i make plans. i don’t know why no one cares enough to invite me to things.

[not.rebecca]

The day I stopped forcefully integrating myself into others conversations is the day noone spoke to me anymore -

[sleepysmartboy]

That was the happiest way to ask that question

[Alec]

I couldn’t remember my own birthday until I was 14 relied on my mom for the longest until she forgot, we thought my birthday was on the 03/27 but it was actually on the 03/22 😬😬

[Christian-gbzf]

People just don’t remember peoples birthdays. It doesn’t mean they don’t care about you

[drshrutideshpande]

I was 12. This was the first ever time my parents decided to throw a birthday party, as we could now afford it. We decided to host all my school friends (20+ people) at our home, and made little invitations to all of them with the time and venue.. not a single person turned up to the party. That was the day I decided no longer to have any birthday parties. Since then I cut off all these school 'friends' and made new once since. Since then I went to college, got a job, got married etc.. and my real friends, colleagues, even my husband and his family have planned my birthday for me.. I feel immensely loved and grateful to have them, but I still don't feel excited for my birthday.

[park_mp]

They had no reason to remember because there was a system in place to remind them. If they didn't care they never would have done anything with him for 24 years.

[Riri]

Every year on my birthday i also order a dog friendly cupcake so my dog can also enjoy! My dog is the only one that attends my birthday and is always with me he is getting old and ill miss him when hes gone

[kellyannesaunders]

As someone who is very forgetful, if my BEST BEST BEST friend asks me their birthday, I would still get it wrong.

[naho]

because obviously not everyone remembers much, people forget man it’s not that you’re not important and that they don’t didn’t forget. and man obviously it’s not gonna be the same every year

[mega]

Most people barely even remeber close relatives birthdays

[journeytoyggdrasil]

Didn't get past the "no one cares about you". Thanks. Thats all I needed rn