Becoming the “Black Sheep” in my Mormon Family - Rylee Porter | Ep. 1774

Discover Rylee and JoCee Porter's challenges in a life intertwined with the LDS church, where their father worked as an Ensign Peak executive, part of the Mormon Church's controversial investment company. In this episode, Rylee and Jocee recall their experiences as cultural minorities while their father worked on Wall Street and the cultural disparities they encountered upon moving to Utah, where they struggled with bullying and the insidious nature of Utah Mormonism. Uncover the pivotal moments that led Rylee to question the validity of the church’s truth claims and moral credibility, and eventually make the courageous decision to break free from the church at the cost of her family relationships. Get ready for an eye-opening conversation that delves into the complexities of faith, personal integrity, and the power of one's own principles.

00:00:00 Introductions & intentions
00:14:30 Porter family background
00:26:00 How a Mormon “hick” from Roy Utah makes it to Wall Street
00:34:00 Role of LDS church community in Rylee’s early life.
00:46:15 Rylee’s experience in Mormon culture
00:55:45 Rylee’s Girl’s Camp experience
00:59:00 JoCee’s reflections as a Mormon in New Jersey
01:18:00 Jeff Porter sued by Koch brothers, moves to Utah
01:38:45 Educational and cultural differences between Utah and “back east”
01:54:00 Feeling “bored” and bullied in Utah Mormonism
01:59:00 Jeff Porter working for Ensign Peak
02:06:15 Jeff encouraging the questioning of authority in family
02:08:00 Utah Mormon release time seminary
02:13:00 Feeling like Utah Mormon culture was systemically insidious
02:27:00 Going to Utah State in Logan
02:29:00 On being a “Black Sheep” in a devout Utah Mormon family
02:33:00 When your Mormon bishop is your primary care physician
02:34:30 Starts studying Mormon church history, “Everything has been a lie.”
02:43:00 Wondering if parents were complicit in a corrupt system
02:48:00 Watching the Mormon temple ceremony on YouTube, realizing it’s a cult
02:50:00 Bishop tells her father of her resignation before she is ready to tell him herself.
02:55:00 Having the integrity to live by her principles
02:58:00 Being in both a toxic church and family system
03:02:00 What kept her family from being able to have constructive conversations?
03:04:00 Trying to talk to her father about Mormon history and truth claims, RSR, Fawn Brodie, and how cults trump personal health and family relationships
03:09:40 Why a Mormon apostate is the most dangerous thing you can be

___________________

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[MargarettaSpencer-xl]

I’ve been the black sheep of my family for forty wonderful years after leaving the church and I’ve never regretted it once.

[KaylynPNW]

Mormon Stories was a lifeline during my transition out of mainstream Mormonism. Thank you John and your amazing team.

[Beutimus]

I'm the only inactive member in my family, and we don't talk about it at all. I never had parents that encouraged questioning authority. It's heartwarming to see people getting out so young.

[tracygittins]

I'm a very recent (yesterday) retired librarian and music teacher. I left Utah in 2000 to teach abroad. I had grown weary of having to face off with holier-than-thou, ultra-conservative BOOK BURNERS in the 84414 zip code. Your loss, North Ogden. I've had a very enjoyable career, working with a diverse population from across Europe.

[janelleleppink]

Once again commenting to say that I so appreciate Margi as a cohost and her thoughtful and insightful questions and comments. Every episode she’s in is better for it. Very powerful!

[kellihall]

I left the church decades ago after the way I was treated after a somewhat bitter divorce. I had no one. I’m SO glad there is a community now…❤

[ellemarr]

I’m completely stunned. I’ve been following this podcast for a few months and I always think of my one friend from elementary school. She was the only Mormon I knew and I’ve always had a positive view of Mormons because of her and her family. To see Rylee’s thumbnail completely shook me. I’m from NJ and rode the bus with her. I always wondered how she was doing ❤

[cardall]

Was invited to speak and play at one of the dinners Ensign Peak hosted. After sharing my emotional story, brochures were passed out on how we can invest in an effort to support the Church. 🤦🏻🤷🏻 Of course, I waived my performance fee that fed my family.

[oddlang]

2:53:10 - 2:53:55 Is so heartbreaking. This is the aspect of the Mormon faith crisis that I've personally found to be the hardest. Trying to let your parents know that you don't believe anymore and that you have decided to take a different direction for your life because you don't see any alternative but to be true to yourself but also knowing that it will break their heart to see you make that choice and that they may take it personally.

[achyleftistwitch]

In a weird way, as the daughter of a non-denominational Christian fundamentalist missionary preacher who grew up in a state other than TX or the south, I can relate so much with a lot of parts.
She and I were also born the same and graduated the same years. I also did call center work. So many parallels.

[Jordi_Plays]

Ive been listening for a while and have had no idea why I find these so interesting as a never mormon. But theres always something relatable in these, mormon or not. And there is always something inspiring about people breaking out of their mold. I deconstructed from baptism when i went off to college, and now i'm a college drop out, tattoo artist (yes i'm covered), and a nihilist. Ive never felt more at peace and happy with myself.

[methodtraining]

This podcast had me absolutely captivated from beginning to end. Rylee, oh boy, she is an extraordinary woman of remarkable strength and courage. The way she fearlessly shared her story was truly awe-inspiring. I was completely engrossed for the entire three hours, not once losing interest. It's incredible how someone like her can leave such an indelible impact.

You know, life has a funny way of throwing curveballs, and I, too, find myself navigating my own challenges within the church at the moment. Hearing Rylee's experiences was precisely what I needed. It resonated with me on such a deep level.

In a world that can often feel chaotic and uncertain, encountering someone like Rylee, who has overcome immense obstacles, serves as a beacon of hope and inspiration. Her story reminded me that strength can be found even in the darkest of moments.

All in all, this podcast featuring Rylee was an absolute gem. It provided the solace and encouragement I was seeking. I'm grateful for her openness and vulnerability. Thank you Rylee!

[mostlyvoid.partiallystars]

To Jocee - I’m a woman in STEM, a software E graduate working in missile defense and just wanted to say thanks for your activism. I’m blessed to work with many intelligent and diverse women in my particular team but I remember in my classes being either the only woman or one of two. Cheering you on from Alabama ❤️🎉

[Notfromhere]

Members in my ward growing up in NC used to say “if you want to stay in the church, don’t move to Utah”. No truer words.

[Marellenmac]

I was the blacksheep and only girl in my family and it took YEARS for me to realize that it wasn't really about me. And after much work, I finally have redeemed myself in the eyes of those who blamed me for much of what was wrong in our house. Spoiler alert: it was never me.

[loriallan]

John is such an amazing psychologist! As an educator, I just see how so many kids need this support when they’re struggling. No judgement just compassion! Amazing young women! John, God chose your ministry and it’s Mormon stories!

[rachaelkilgore]

I love this episode. It makes me feel so validated in my own Mormon story. Being the only one out in my family I unfortunately went down the path of feeling isolated so I ended up using unhealthy coping mechanisms. This story gives me hope and a sense personal power. Thank you 🙏

[WillwFire]

I'm SO happy Rylee got the opportunity to bear her soul and tell her story. And no better people to do it with than John and Margi, who always blows me away with her love and empathy and frequently moves me to tears.
And Rylee, I hope this was very cathartic for you. I feel privileged to hear your story. Thank you.

[giulianogonzales]

I loved hearing Rylee's story. It reminded me of my own story in a lot of ways. I'm glad John called the audible and made this into 3 parts so both girls could tell their story.

[chispitablanca]

Whew, this one really hits home for me. Starting to have doubts as a teenager is so hard because only members of the church would understand the conversations you want to have, but it’s not safe to have those conversations with them.