How I Became A Target for Bullies In School | Can Ask Meh?

Were you asking for it? Do you wish karma upon your bullies?

On this episode of Can Ask Meh, three individuals share how years of being bullied cast a shadow on their lives, and how they slowly learnt to pick up the pieces after.

══ Content ══
0:00 Intro
0:59 Were you asking for it?
6:08 Wasn't anyone there for you?
9:44 What was the most painful moment for you?
15:57 Do you wish karma upon your bullies?

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[squishypillow]

What’s annoying is, some of these bullies can end up becoming extremely successful people. Top academic scorers, student leaders, government scholars. Disgusting.

[Rainy_wednesdays]

Thank you Ker Wei, Tammy and Yao Feng for sharing your stories so vulnerably. I cannot even begin to imagine what you all must have went through. Hearing how your past made you stronger individuals now really is very inspiring.

I think Ker Wei has come quite a long way in his healing process even without therapy, and that's pretty admirable.

[cflorimond]

Sometimes all it takes to stop the bullying is for one child in the group to say "Okay, enough lah. Just leave him/her alone." and suggest doing something else. Bullying is something that is often fueled by the opinion of the group. Doing this will stop fueling the bully, and also give the bullied person some relief. Additionally, for the bullied person, it is immensely powerful that someone would care enough to stand up for them, even if in a small way.

[Jon-vsrk]

😥 y'all are not alone. and hated it when we fight back, we became the fault of the issues and if we did not, nobody did a thing

[mediumrareproductions]

"There will be always be bad things that happen to you, and sometimes you just cannot completely eradicate those things. Sometimes the only solution is to make a bigger circle of good things, of good memories, that's so big that the bad circle is just so small in comparison"

This really hit hard 🥺Even after everything Ker Wei had been through, he still found found a way to find his own peace. Thanks for sharing all of your stories, you guys are warriors.

[evelynlim]

Not just for youth, but in the adult workplace. As a doctor, I had been bullied when I was in the Houseman, Medical officer and previous aesthetic clinics . Always tell myself, focus on me ! Only focus on ME, God will deals with them . Which works so well . Sending loves to those who is encounter the current situation

[MusicHavenSG]

Even up to now, bullying has never been tackled at all. Back then in Primary and Secondary school, many times I did fear for my life going to school. It was only my secondary school band that I still found a reason to go to school. Things only started to look up when I started to delve more into music in Poly, then LASALLE which honestly were the best years of school life I've ever had. Bloody enjoyed that honestly.

[michelletan]

8 years is such a long time. No one should ever have to go through this in life, EVER. I am sorry that there are so many victims of bullying out there. Kudos to the interviewees for being so strong and getting through this painful period and speaking up about it today <3

[amontano]

I feel disgusted and disappointed with these people who make bullying their hobby. I was bullied by my colleagues when I was a trainee teacher in one of the top schools in Singapore years ago. Even after I had left the school, one of the teacher-bullies actually spread some false rumours about me to a teacher in the other school where I was teaching. She was supposed to be my mentor during my training but had sabotaged me instead, obviously out of jealousy over my youth and higher qualification. She was talking bad about me for years, no matter which school I ended up teaching at. I suspect she was trying to cover her tracks. For such a person, I honestly do wish for karma upon her.

[peggybundy]

Ignoring the bullies does not help, they like making their victims feel hopeless and getting a kick out of their suffering.

[minimalisticjoy]

My younger brother was bullied throughout his secondary school. He was suicidal. No words can describe how my heart broke for him. Thankfully, poly and church changed his life. He is good now. We don’t talk about the bullying anymore. But it’s something we couldn’t forget😢

[Hirotara]

I was bullied growing up as well, In primary school, I was bullied for being the kid that cried a lot because I just wasn't used to being alone without my parents and this was the first time I ever set foot in a SJKC environment where English wasn't the main language spoken there. They would insult me, push me around and make me feel like actual shit. One time, we were getting a check-up by the school dentists and they just decided to pull their stunt there, it got to a point where I was so angry at them that I chased them throughout the school all the while, they laughed at me and made fun of me. I then was found by a teacher who took pity on me and brought me back to class, despite months of bullying and torment, all they ever really got was a slap on the wrist. They stopped as I was then transferred to a higher tiered class but even then, I never fit in.

Then came secondary school, I was new and naive, and had ended up dabbling with terrible people who always made me feel worthless, insecure and just overall terrible about myself. Didn't help that I was the new kid and no one knew me, I too had anger issues growing up purely because of the fact that I hurt anyone yet this was pushed onto me. Further more, they would make fun of me for a certain "thing" that I did at the very beginning of my first semester and hung it over my head, me being afraid of them sharing this "thing" they had on me, I kept my mouth shut, afraid to ever say anything because of the amount of shame it made me feel. The amount of toxic friend groups that I kept hopping to was insane, each time I did, they would talk bad about me and call me obscenities despite the fact that I just wanted to be friends and live a chill life. I never asked for it, they just picked me because I was an easy target apparently. Nice person equated to that I guess.

I'm 20 now, still healing from all the mental scars they left me. I would say I was one of the luckier victims of bullying, the amount of horror stories that I have heard of worse cases makes me wish the worst on those that ever played the role of a bully. I've been picking up the pieces since then, I've left out a lot and we haven't even gotten to the late teen stuff that eventually got really heavy. I'm happy to say that I'm in a better place now, I'm doing all that I can to elevate myself physically (bodybuilding, boxing), mentally (Psychology, learning about self) and Spiritually (Meditating, self-recordings of thoughts). I only realize now that all of these have been repressed as it all hurt so much.

To those dealing with bullying currently or in the future, it does get better, slowly but surely, do not let those that can't even have the common decency to be nice affect who you are in the future. While we can say that they might have been hurt individuals too, that still does not give them the right to do what they do. Fight back if you can, tell someone that is credible if you're able to, and please, fight for your right to live and persevere for not only those that care about you but yourself. You are stronger than you think you are

I personally never wanted to fight back or hurt anyone. I, like many people, hate bullies.

[lendleasereit]

Bullies bully because they are secretly insecure people. they need to see someone in a lower position than them in order to appease their insecurity (e.g. their inner self can then tell themself they are not the only one who is lousy because there is someone suffering infront of them).. that is why you see bullies have a lot of insecurity issues when they enter relationships. In relationships, their insecurity will come full force

[theunraveler]

"The best revenge is not to become like your wrong doer" - Marcus Aurelius

[alycialow]

Unfortunately bullying still takes place even in adulthood. I don’t think one can ever heal from the trauma but what we can do is be more empathetic and not be a bully ourselves. Learning how to set boundaries and cutting off toxic people when necessary. Thank you for sharing your stories and hopefully life will be better for all of you ❤

[poniesunited]

I was bullied for 2 years in primary 5 and 6. Took me years to get back my self confidence... Thanks for sharing in this video. Hearing your stories gave me strength. What didn't kill us made us stronger.

[k-xlvo]

Yao feng, Ker Wei and Tammy, appreciate you for sharing about your experiences. Your beautiful hearts to forgive your tormentors is admirable. Thank you for showing to me what it looks like to be strong and kind in character and soul.

You are greatly loved by your families and friends ❤

[NannyzGal]

That Ker Wei sums up bullying and its effects so well, it's very hard to hear these types of stories, but it gives such great awareness- anyone/everyone can play a part, choose to make a positive choice because these victims don't want karma for their bullies, but karma will visit those bullies kids and the bullies will learn the hard way !

[Averagebum]

So many bullies actually think they are doing the right thing bullying someone, and so many think the quiet victim who doesn’t retaliate is weak or stupid.

[sfgoh]

Ker Wei, Tammy and Yao Feng! Thank you for sharing your experiences! You guys are warriors!❤