how i knew i was nonbinary

Music:
things from the audio library doodeedoo

TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 - how i knew i was nonbinary
9:53 - song clip lol

✨Equipment ✨
Camera: Canon G7x Mark II & Canon T7i (w/ kit lens)
Microphone: Zoom H1 Handy
Editing Software: Final Cut Pro X
Recording Software: Logic Pro X
Thumbnail Software: Photoshop

ABOUT ME:
Age: 23

TAGS: how i knew i was nonbinary, how to know if you're nonbinary, nonbinary, gender euphoria, androgynous outfits, enby, gender affirming things i've done as a nonbinary person, how to experience gender euphoria, nonbinary coming out, gender questioning

8.26.2024-64973

[metallurgico]

I'm NB amab and I always felt weird in a group of guys since elementary school, while having good times staying with girls. My point of view is that our gender is not our choice, but recognizing, accepting it and affirming it are.

[ishouldsleepbut]

god the part where you said you wanted, really wanted that bothness... that hit for me. i'd always thought nonbinary people were super cool ever since i existed. anytime i'd meet someone who was nonbinary (or trans) i'd get this like fluttery feeling in my chest. it was like that thing where you're not sure if you want to be them or be with them. but i don't think i ever realized that was an option for me. even when i started playing around with using she/they pronouns, i still felt like a fraud. it wasn't until a few months ago that it hit me that being nonbinary felt good. that people using that label for me felt right. now every time someone uses they/them pronouns for me, i smile because it just makes me feel really good. i have that bothness and i love it!!!

[silvernmoonlace]

"the full spectrum of gender in one person" I think this describes my own experience pretty well

[mel]

The part you said about not fitting in completely with a group of women is so real. I always feel so /off/ in those situations and your explanation about give and take connection was perfect.

[safi_hik]

I related a lot with some of your experiences. Especially when you mentioned "not feeling a girl in a group of girls" (and the ear ring part of course!)

I am non binary (more specifically labled: agender). At first I thought I was bigender or gender fluid, but one day I was so exausted about thinking of gender (and not relating to anything) that I thought "I don't feel like anything, I am just a person. I wish I was neither of them (woman/man) always..." And then I was like, "Oh... I AM AGENDER??!!"

[Mothersangria]

I SO RELATE to putting "figuring out my gender situation" on the back burner for a few years 😂 truly the enby experience lol

[athna]

hey! i don't usually comment on yt, but i want to say thank you iris. i've watched your vids since the pandemic and you've helped me in my gender discovery. most importantly, you made me realize there's others like me and that being myself, finding ways to appreciate and express my individuality is so much better than fitting in the "norm". please, never change for anyone, you're perfect!

[maroondream]

Completely relate to the part about self-perception and not wanting to be labeled as a masculine woman. I am FTM/transandrogynous and I often wear skirts and dresses but I would be completely crushed if someone referred to me as "fem nonbinary" or the like. The term "feminine" makes me dysphoric if applied to me, but the word "effeminate" makes me feel more comfortable. I feel like the former implies adjacency to womanhood and the latter implies adjacency to manhood, if that makes any sense. Very long convoluted way to say my self perception is of androgyny/masculinity, but I would hate for anyone to make assumptions that are the opposite because of how they think gender should work.

[frodounderhill]

I love that you raised the point of being in a group of women because that's an important factor for me (afab) as well. ive always mostly had female friends, I love and admire the women in my life so deeply but they're always somewhat other to me. i love doing traditionally girly things but it tends to be something I put on, like a performance that's still authentic and enjoyable, yet not the whole truth. I also realise that sexuality definitely intersects with that feeling, I have always felt like an imposter in conversations about dating because I never really had crushes and if I liked someone it was a girl. I still feel a connection to womanhood, to female community but it's just one side of the coin.

[RomeoTheGnomeo]

Black nail polish is so gender affirming to me as a trans masc person i literally always have it on. I paint my own nails and they're often chipped which is also weirdly affirming. Im wearing nail polish in a masculine androgynous way and its so fuckin nice bro

[simplyepic]

When you talked about your feelings about bothness, that is exactly how I feel about it. It's nice to hear it put into words finally.

[AndyD]

Thank you for sharing! I relate to so much of this. I’m AMAB NB, and even way before I understand that about myself, some of the most gratifying moments for me socially were when I was accepted as “one of the girls.”

[Vexx]

OMG FINNALY AN ENBY/NON BINARY PERSON TALKIN BOUT THIS

[cynthb]

Thanks for your video, so many things resonated with me, especially feeling like an outsider in a group of women when the rest of them are bonding. I love your videos and love hearing your perspective! I'm 59, NB / AFAB and I didn't really start to explore my gender identity until my 40s. It wasn't a thing that was talked about when I was growing up even though I would get this rush of gender euphoria when someone called me a tomboy or sir. Thanks again <3

[MyCatMicah]

I really wanted to go in about how much this video meant to me but i can’t find the words. So just, thank you <3

[milic]

The not feeling like you fit in with a group of girls (or guys, with AMAB people) comes up so often that I tried to look back and see if that was true for me, and I concluded that I really don't know, or any feelings like that were overridden by my comfort depending almost entirely on needing validation and acceptance from others, so it was whether *they* treated me as one of them, no matter the gender makeup of the group. I was the only "girl" on the soccer team I joined for one season (as well as the youngest and smallest member), and I felt very much like a little girl who didn't belong because the boys constantly gave me crap about it. But when I was put in a therapy group where the rest of the kids were boys, I never had thoughts of not belonging/being the only "girl, " because they all treated me the same way they treated each other. And as I got older I got shyer and convinced nobody really liked me, so it was hard to feel like I was welcomed in any friend group. I guess I'm trying to say if your experience is like mine, don't worry, you're valid.

[MsSarahDuffy]

Loved this video. Cis friends of mine who are supportive but don't get what it means to be trans often use the word 'choice'. I usually correct them because being trans is not a choice, but I loved the way you speak of your 'choice' in putting it on a back burner or bringing it more to the front of things - I think that will help me meet my cis friends' language halfway, so thank you

[LiterallyBillCipherXD]

This was the video was where it all clicked for me. After MONTHS of questioning, one thing you said (i forgot what you said lol) i was just like ":0 OMG :0000"

[TheGalacticGrizzly]

For the longest time, I just didn't know that being non-binary was an option. Even when being trans and/or non-binary became a more common concept in society, it always felt like that was something that others were. But then I had a moment where things clicked. I tried redefining my assigned gender for myself, but it felt impossible, it just wasn't right. And now I can confidently say that I am non-binary 😊

[vishwam]

“Not feeling like a girl in a group of girls” totally resonates with me. Growing up and studying in an all boys school I have always felt I never belonged in any group and when presented situations where I either had to act masculine or feel left out, I always was comfortable being by myself. The loneliness did eventually get to me. But to realise this was really related to my gender identity, helped me embrace being non binary more and more 🎉