Why She Stopped Touching You

How to get HER in the MOOD (funny)
#marriageadvice #relationshipproblems #conflictresolution

[Ultrademic]

You're right. It sucks so badly when u can't give your loved one affection without expectations of sex

[abbykoop]

The relationships where we had the most sex were the ones where the guy wasn't always asking. The other thing guys might want to consider is that there is a huge difference between groping and caressing!

[BagznBirdz]

This! An ex of mine did this and we got to the point where sex happened twice a year because I didn't want to touch or kiss him anymore. In his mind every touch or even look meant that sex was going to happen immediately. He only touched me when he wanted sex. So the intimacy died and he just didn't get it when I told him time and time again what was the problem.
Some guys will never get it.

[Plumblossom]

Over and over and over again.
I said I want to be able to touch or cuddle without worrying that he would want it to turn into sex - and if I didn’t want it, he would, yes, sulk and be angry EXACTLY like you said.

I told him it would help me if there was clarification that, on a specific occasion, it wouldn’t turn into sex. He felt that was awkwardly rigid and sterile and that sex or no sex should evolve naturally. He said it never turned into sex, anyway, so what’s the difference?

THE DIFFERENCE is that without establishing whether or not sex would be expected, I couldn’t relax and enjoy affection because of the anxiety that it was going to end with him being angry and sulking.

[nikkibotts]

When you feel like your body is just a carrying case for his favorite parts.

[dawnwessel]

This is 100% on point. I can't sit too close, or touch him at all without having to pay the price... I cringe when he starts giving me a back rub.

[funkymonkey]

I’m a man and I’m the same way. Touching is a nice way to share affection. But don’t mean the clothes have to come off every time. I’m more than just a sexy body, I have feelings too. Funny but true

[churchsbiscuits]

Some men really don’t understand how the pressure for “more sex” can ruin a woman’s desire for sex altogether.

[Babsbakes]

Have tried and tried to talk with my husband about this. And he says he gets it then punishes me for weeks on end with the silent treatment or choosing to not come home weekly (he works nation wide.)
I’ve been told my whole life, a wife must be a soft place for her husband to land, but no one seems to teach men that a woman/wife needs a safe place to be vulnerable.

[DahliaBrynn]

This is so, so important. Earlier in my marriage I developed an autoimmune condition that made intimacy excruciatingly painful. He took it personally, and then took his frustration out on me. By the end of our marriage I felt like nothing more than a hole for him. He was never gentle in spite of the pain he caused, would get petty and angry if I didn't give him what he wanted, and I would do everything I could to avoid being near him as much as possible because I couldn’t stand him. It got to the point where he decided that a husband can't rape his wife because he owns her body.

He was controlling, petty, and never treated me in a way that made him desirable, and then threw tantrums when I wasn't into him. I never should have stayed. But I did try, it was just never enough for him.

[nnylasoR]

I’m the wife in a marriage where these stereotypes are flipped. My drive and desire for physical touch is WAY HIGHER and the polar opposite of my husband.
Even when upset, I think that the effort ~from both partners~ to bridge the gap emotionally and physically says a lot about their connection and love for one another.
(Physical Touch is his bottom rung love language, where it is my close second.)
There are many reasons why we no longer touch … but hindsight is showing me that it was very much like this in the beginning of our marriage. After a while, he didn’t want to hug or even touch me as it would “get me going, ” and he had no desire to “get going” with a wife whom he was feeling disrespected by. The attraction and vulnerability simply was no longer there for him… for either of us. 😞
(There’s far too much to include and explain here — but we are currently ~finally~ working on unpacking baggage and resolving our conflicts. ✊🧡)

[hollyfox]

This is so true. About 20 years ago, I would sit next to my husband on the couch enjoying relaxing with him. Soon, his hand would start roaming. I just wanted to relax and cuddle. Unable to express myself at such a young age, I figured out that if I steered the conversation to something that made him mad, he would get up. Well, 20 years and one angry husband later, we're divorced.

[Karina_Engr]

I think that is one of the main reasons I ended my last relationship. He threw a tantrum when I said no. I don’t ever want to feel that way again. 😢

[daigagrady]

OMG, this!!!! As a mom of 4, exhausted after a full day of daily to-do's, if I rolled over to snuggle into him to fall asleep, he interpreted that as foreplay -- and yes, if I tried to explain that I was tired and just wanted to snuggle and go to sleep, he would turn his back and sulk and I got the cold shoulder for days. It got to the point where I would wait until he was asleep and then carefully slink into bed from my side without disturbing him so that I could just go to sleep. Predictably, this marriage ended in divorce.

[whywhy]

Or...she stopped touching you because she's carrying the emotional/physical load of the household and you're just.one.more.thing to check off the list.

[MissAnthropeR]

That's a major reason I stopped dating and have been on my own for almost a decade. I don't feel valued by men at all. I gave up.

[Demona]

I didn't want to give random touches of affection to my now husband, cause I thought he'd push to the bedroom.
But I was wrong, a little talking, and now we share little hugs, or kisses or small cuddles throughout our day, without it becoming "let's bang!"

[shadowlink]

Wow! This is my relationship after 15 years. "Just a means to an end". And you are so right about the sulking and guilt trip. Wow! Thank you for pointing that out!

[awatson]

My emotional level plummeted because he wanted sex and look out of he didn't get it. Turn us on outside the bedroom...the intimacy...where it really matters and then see what happens... without expectations. One of the reasons I'm divorced was because my ex disrespected me and there was marital coercion. Rape in marriage. Yes there is such a thing. Make sure she's on board with you otherwise take no for an answer and let it be. No force, coercion, control or manipulation. If sex is more important to you than her, then eventually she will leave you. It's a want not a need.

[TheVeggiekat]

Yes! PREACH! My ex would have gotten so much more sex if I’d been able to get non sexual cuddles. Guys, lean into your girl snuggling on the couch as you watch a movie. Learn to enjoy the random hugs that are just hugs. Meet her emotional needs and you will definitely get your physical needs met.