Can You Actually Become More Emotionally Intelligent?

Emotional Intelligence is something that’s talked about more and more in management and professional development courses. It seems like this ability is important — which means that some researchers have tried to see if you can get better at it.

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[ilenastarbreeze]

this really should be something taught in all schools for a couple of years it would change the world

[oAvalono]

_I wish I went to that class that helped teens solve emotional problems_

[taythree]

Who knew talking about kids how to deal with emotions, helped them deal with emotions? Huh wierd

[PuzzlesExplained]

Schools need to focus on these kinds of practical skills, like emotional intelligence, time management, etc.


It will do just as much to make kids' minds healthier and happier as putting more information into their head.

[TreespeakerOfTheLand]

I´m very glad this is being talked about. As someone living with autism and training her social skills for many years, I have begun to recognise people´s emotions by their faces. Less than 5 years ago I annoyed people to no end, now I can support others emotionally. It takes much practice, but everyone can do it!

[stefanklass]

You could make a video about emotional repression, what the consequences are and what to do about it.

[WWZenaDo]

I'm a bit suspicious of corporations ballyhooing emotional intelligence. I have a bad feeling that the corporations have mistaken servile submissiveness to long-running and subtle abuse (lower pay, longer hours) as some form of "emotional intelligence".

[AyeGee]

I never understood how to show empathy. I felt it, but trying to console someone or even complimenting is like an anxiety causing exam. I just can't process it.

[limalicious]

Person with high emotional intelligence: I know that person who is frowning isn't upset at me.
Anxiety: *YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?*

[carissalee]

Me and my therapist spent years focusing on my emotional intelligence to help my severe depression and BPD... It has helped me so much!

[GodHelpMe]

Why do we seek?

Is there any reason to seek a better future
if we're fully comfortable and content
with the way our body feels now?

When thoughts slow down,
you may notice that there is discomfort in the body,
which may show up in a myriad of ways:
pain, anxiety, anger, or any other sensation or emotion...

This is part of the reason that we get addicted to thought—
because it’s an immediately available way
to avoid or try to fix
the way our bodies feel.

We won't be able to rest in presence for very long
if we keep ignoring or avoiding discomfort.
Rather, we'll continue to follow thoughts about past and future...
We'll keep trying to escape...

So, how do we bring direct attention to the energies of our body?

The first step is to acknowledge that you are feeling something.
We tend to acknowledge emotions and sensations first through the mind...
We might think, "I’m angry, " or "I’m afraid of what might happen, "
or we may simply notice that something is bothering us...

But we can't feel emotions or sensations through thinking.

These thoughts are narratives or labels for how we feel.

They are not the actual energies themselves.

For example, if you have the thought "I have a stomachache, "
that thought is a label for something that is actually happening in your body...

In order to actually feel or experience the stomachache directly,
you would have to bring attention down into the stomach area
and feel it without thoughts on it...

The same is true for all emotions and sensations.

Once you acknowledge that you feel something
or have been triggered/activated by someone or some event,
bring attention very gently to the body
where you feel the actual emotion or sensation...
With your attention there, feel into the sensation or emotion,
and see if you can notice the peripheral space around it at the same time.

Let the emotion or sensation just hang there in that open space,
without trying to change, neutralize, or get rid of it...

It is common to want to change, neutralize, or get rid of bodily energies.
Just notice any tendency to want to do these things.
This is resistance at work,
and trying to stop that resistance from happening
is simply adding more resistance.

Bear in mind that we give power to words, pictures, and bodily energies
by turning awareness away from them.
And we diminish their power by turning toward them
and remaining aware of them until they fade naturally.

That one simple understanding,
if turned into a daily practice,
is highly transformative.

[PuppyLuv]

I discovered this myself. I worked as a training specialist and high-level customer service handling top escalations. Those jobs were tough and gaining better EI helped me survive! I moved on job-wise but those skills I learned help me to this day. Best skill I have!

[mammontustado]

1:35 They could just be good at lying. I've been told that many CEOs are psychopaths.

[oAvalono]

Interesting video. My E.I. is spotty at best but I try to improve all the time. I just don't like how people use it to manipulate others.

[TumblinWeeds]

Schools have been trying to teach EI for years, you know, through mandatory group projects. They usually result in one person doing all the work and developing a grudge against the stu*id-f**ks that don’t do their share.

Interesting how they never thought of actually TEACHING kids how to deal with emotions and social situations.

[mouseluva]

Can we have a Crash Course on EI and soft skills for the workplace? Much harder to learn than technical parts of a job.

[NewMessage]

E.I.?
E.I.??


Oh.
- Dr. MacDonald: Project Head, Agricultural Livestock Cognition Research Team.

[sarahpersonalexcellenceguide]

I like calling it “emotional management” and of course it’s teachable! Controlling your emotions makes life FEEL better! It takes time because we have to UNlearn unhealthy patterns of thinking and behavior society drilled into us, before we can learn the skills we need!

[kaiboijin]

I'd like to see a video on which self-improvement books/methods are most effective and which are just garbage.

[misschief]

That bruise looks nasty! Those small ones are usually more painful (deeper?) unlike bigger ones where it's spread over more area :(