How to Get in Touch With Your Feelings... and Why It Matters

How could we lose touch with feelings that belong to us? Where might they go? And what might be driving their loss?

FURTHER READING

“The idea that we might - as the expression has it - ‘lose touch with our feelings’ is, when we reflect on it, a highly paradoxical one. How could we lose touch with feelings that belong to us? Where might they go? And what might be driving their loss? It seems we’re built in such a way that an understanding of much of what our minds and bodies go through is in no way automatic; it is mediated via the acceptance and understanding of other people. We know well enough about some things: if, for example, there were to be a gaping wound in our leg, or we hadn’t drunk anything for three days, we would know the truth soon enough. But many of our sensations are like bells that have no solid wire back to consciousness; they ring at a peculiar frequency that isn’t picked up by our minds when these have been attuned incorrectly…”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Alexandra Balan

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions

[pancholopezpaz]

In therapy I learn to feel, it is one of the first things we did from the beginning of my psychotherapy journey. I was out of touch with my needs and feelings and suffered a nasty burn-out at work. Now I am getting better at noticing what I feel and also at communicating it. It is a long journey

[happily_a_mama]

"We listen to ourselves because people around us have listened to us" couldn't be more true.

[Fromtheforgottengardens]

I was grown up learning not to show any vulnerability or emotions as my mom said it was weakness( good intentions from her part) but it made me closed off from world. And this now in my late 20's I have hard time falling in love with anyone.

[markmuller]

"How to make new friends as an adult", I really need a video like that 😭

[Nokss]

I literally ask myself "how do I feel?" Whenever I remember to and it's helped me to be able to process situations internally.

[aarondiaz_]

This is very true. I'm often not aware of how a specific event made me feel unless I hear another person that went trough a similar thing talk about how it made them feel.

[avidhossanmansur]

I have struggled for a long time to draw a line between selfishness and self-awareness. And the solution was very simple, actually. When you are aware of you're needs you're self-aware (no pun intended) but when you care only about your needs and personal satisfaction while harming others that is selfishness. It's always important to put your needs first and then of course think of others. Because you can't help anyone if you yourself are in trouble or suffering. How will a doctor perform a life-saving surgery if he himself is in need of life-saving surgery!
Funny huh.

The mistake I made was turning myself into a doormat to please others because I didn't want to come across
as selfish. Don't make the same mistake I did respect yourself first and then respect others.

[SK-ljql]

Listening to our inner child without naming, rationalizing, judging the feelings is an important step in reparenting ourselves

[lunamoon]

I am currently becoming a therapist and this video really makes me feel like I can change something and help people just by listening to them and understanding them💜

[iamgoddessoflove]

It's so important that we take care of our own needs without sacrificing our well-being to satisfy and please others. When you can, take breaks if need to, meditate, take a walk and be kind to yourself for the practice of self-care. Do whatever makes you feel that inner peace and calmness that's needed for your mental health and overall well-being.
💙YouTuber That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

[gwho]

corollary:
in parenting, you should pay attention to and acknowledge your child's feelings and verbalize them back to your child, with an attitude of understanding and "it's ok".

[sperez]

Knowing how to care for ourselves, depends on having been cared for by others. We listen to ourselves because people around us have listened to us.

[kiwiseatpumpkinpie]

Nowadays whenever I get high my mind kind of splits off to conscious me and “subconscious” me.

We don’t really talk talk to each other but I do understand what moments in our lives meant so much to us. Which gets surface level me super emotional

[waldowallenda]

It's a matter of paying attention to the thoughts attached to feelings. You can't have one without the other.

[shinigami]

I struggle to say what I feel because when I do, people call me victimised and now I don't know if I am or not.

[Leo-mrqz]

Finding compassion for ourselves is a difficult task when you were brought up in a toxic home. Although, it is achievable, it just takes conscious effort. 😇

[timelord]

That was beautiful, but I believe you could have drawn attention to self-love here aswell.
Some people often cannot identify their emotions despite being surrounded by loved ones because they don't truly understand what their feelings are. Learning to recognise your own feelings, especially in a time where you are alone, is a crucial life skill that opens up many degrees of freedom. A vital life lesson is that feelings are to be read and appreciated, as a subconcious guide to what our bodies and minds really want. Too often people try to force one feeling to be recognised as another and often repress true emotion in favour of desirable responses.

[jenndaizy]

"Knowing how to care for ourselves depends on having been cared for by others."
This makes me feel sad especially coming from a place where no one ever asked about how I feel, there is zero communication, and high level of expectations.

[nancyaustin]

I work with a therapist who does both individual and group sessions, and part of his explanation of the power of group is that since it is in relation to other people (like parents) that we develop the problems that bring us to therapy, it is only in a relationship with others that we'll eventually resolve those problems. And I'm one of those people who always had difficulties knowing what I was feeling--especially anger. (My parents told us kids that angry children were bad children. Throughout my childhood I watched my alcoholic dad raging about stuff constantly--yelling and screaming, acting like a crazy person. I wanted nothing to do with anger, ever again for the rest of my life. I was terrified of confrontation, or even having an opinion that someone could label "wrong.")

When you want to start recognizing your emotions, it takes a long time--or at least that was the case for me. In group, someone might ask me what I was feeling, and I would sincerely sit there and try to work it out, but I'd end up saying, "I don't know" or "I don't feel anything." Or I wouldn't be able to identify anything in the moment, but later--after I'd gone home--watch out! Then I'd be an emotional mess.

After years of this, I'm finally to the point where I can usually name the emotion(s) I'm having, and the emotional tidal waves are mostly a thing of the past.

All the best to those of you who are dealing with similar issues--hang in there!

[mrScififan]

This makes so much sense! I honestly have been so frustrated and disappointed by stuff that I NUMB MYSELF! LOL!