How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, and More — Arthur C. Brooks

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Please enjoy!

[00:00] Intro
[00:45] The reverse bucket list.
[06:55] Intention without attachment.
[08:48] Writing Thích Nhất Hạnh’s obituary.
[11:35] Buddhist views through a Catholic lens.
[14:52] Blood occlusion training and physical fitness over 40.
[18:42] Arthur’s semi-mystical teenage experiences in Mexico.
[25:10] Arthur’s academic dad on complex vs. complicated.
[28:25] Happiness hygiene for genetically baseline gloominess.
[31:08] Happiness and unhappiness: hand in hand.
[34:22] Being effective with one’s affects.
[37:53] The three macronutrients of happiness.
[45:21] Identifying (and learning to live with) our idols.
[58:02] Secularly securing transcendent perspective.
[1:04:50] Money doesn’t buy happiness — it lowers unhappiness.
[1:09:46] Tithing and adoption.
[1:13:23] How Arthur and his wife met, and how their values aligned over time.
[1:20:39] Advice for seeking love in the modern world.
[1:28:17] Death meditation.
[1:38:33] Finding personal purpose and meaning.
[1:53:06] Four fundamental micronutrients of happiness.
[1:56:11] Translating a need for change into action.
[2:03:41] Aristotle’s secrets to happiness.
[2:08:31] Real friends help us put the kibosh on self-deception.
[2:16:08] Reflecting on the repercussions of living for the mirror’s approval.
[2:19:49] Collaborating with Oprah on Build the Life You Want.
[2:25:21] The point Arthur hopes people don’t miss in Build the Life You Want.
[2:29:09] Reading recommendation: The Noonday Demon.
[2:30:46] Exposure therapy: making pain part of one’s medicine.
[2:35:49] A practical way to be grateful for life’s bad things.
[2:38:54] Parting thoughts.

Tim Ferriss is one of Fast Company’s “Most Innovative Business People” and an early-stage tech investor/advisor in Uber, Facebook, Twitter, Shopify, Duolingo, Alibaba, and 50+ other companies. He is also the author of five #1 New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestsellers: The 4-Hour Workweek, The 4-Hour Body, The 4-Hour Chef, Tools of Titans and Tribe of Mentors. The Observer and other media have named him “the Oprah of audio” due to the influence of his podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show, which has exceeded 900 million downloads and been selected for “Best of Apple Podcasts” three years running.

[EveningTV]

I just can't buy into the idea that you should never do something that gives you pleasure when you are alone. If everyone followed this advice there would be no great artists or athletes, no awesome achievements. Masterpieces don't happen at parties. Great books, poems, songs are not written when we are hanging out with friends. We need make time to hear the still small voice within that some call the muse. Obviously people and shared memories are also important, but I believe that quiet time alone is necessary and for introverts and artists it is critical .

[michellegrantvaughn]

I think this is my favorite podcast conversation ever.

[moniquemichelle]

“Intention is fine, but attachment is bad”. Perfect.

[gemmegroup]

Tim, I have been listening to your shows for almost a decade. I wanted to thank you so much for the amazing gifts you give us in each episode. This one was especially impactful. Thank you so much!

[edmccullough]

He’s making my head hurt. He’s just trying so hard. Can’t he just stop for a minute? Thanks. Love you guys
🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻

[dorothysay]

I. Love. This. GUY!!!!
Thank you, thank you for doing this interview. I’m now going to devour everything this guy has written, and all his interviews.

[guest]

Arthur Brooks and Tim Ferris! The world was waiting for this conversation 🎉🎯🙌

[latishalea]

Two things so far as I listen/watch this episode: 1st- I used to play the French Horn. 2nd- I do everything alone. Ok, almost everything. I recently went on a trip to Toronto, by myself. I go to restaurants, concerts, lectures, vacations, the gym, coffee shops...ect., ect. I have friends whom I invite and whom I've made great memories with, but rarely does anyone participate with me in the things I decide to do. I mention Toronto because it was pointed out numerous times and became extremely visible to me on this specific trip how this is true and I never really thought anything of it up until this point. I started to actually look for people around the city who were by themselves and I found none. There were couples, and groups, and people with their pets, and if I did happen to stumble upon someone who appeared to have no one else with them, they had buds in their ears and they were talking to another on the phone... Maybe I'm sharing people and memories with everyone around me but no one in particular. Absolutely I would love to share experiences with someone/people. But if that was a stipulation to having these experiences there's so much I would have and would be missing out on. Again, I haven't thought much of this until now, and although I know this isn't true, it makes me consider if I am alone in being alone.

[ssb]

Wonderful podcast. For me the big takeaway - make depression part of you, learn from it and evolve with that pain. That's a beautiful lesson!

[coal.sparks]

Whoa. I was having trouble trying to decide which idol was applicable to me, but Tim's comment about pleasure as an antidote to depression? Ding ding ding! Light bulb moment. It's those moments that keep me coming back to these podcasts. Thanks Tim for being so open about your own struggles. It does help to know there's other folks in the darkness too.

[stefan]

This is one of the rare videos that went straight into my "Great Videos" playlist. It has so much phantastic advice, great chemistry and some intense laughs (seriously, that guy showering in the dark for months had me rolling).

[Monas]

this is my favorite podcast ever- thank you Tim for sharing with us so much wisdom from your guests. We need more podcasts/conversations like these that are truly meaningful for people's lives- we all need to learn more how to be happier- the whole world would benefit so, thank you! ❤

[kongkongball]

One of the best podcasts on happiness I watched.

[richardmachokolo]

Thank you Tim and Arthur. After listening to this, I think I am on the right path to living

[robinr]

I could listen to these two riff for eternity.

[micheleegerton]

Tim I have to thank you once again for your fearless show of vulnerability! It won me over as an avid listener/reader of your content years ago & it still impressed me today listening to this podcast. Being 45, single & without children, I completely resonated with your comments regarding your frustrations being recently single. The questions you posed would have been my own & I realized your position of fame adds an entire different Pandora’s Box to that equation. Online dating sucks, but I can’t imagine being famous & trying to navigate that arena!!! Sending good vibes & wishing you the best you deserve while fishing in what I call “the septic tank of singledom after 40”. Thank you again for being open to discussing the conundrum of being able to create whatever we want in life, but still struggling to find someone to share it with!

[jdt]

I achieved certain goals I didn't think I could and did so around 5 years ago. Then I delved into neurotic perfectionism and moved the finish line further....but I started to continuously botch things and burn out. There's this point where it actually makes sense to ditch a goal because you aren't that person anymore. We tend to drag ourselves around with awkward and strict identities that make us miserable. Fuck all that noise

[highpointcreditadvisors]

The answers to Carlos questions brought uncontrollable waterworks! 😭 This might be one of the most thought provoking interviews, ever.

[kayericwinkler]

Great guest and great talk. Thank you very much! I will have to watch this again to take it all in.

[susanmarie]

Happiness = Peace of Mind. I did not figure this out until later in life.