Why INFPs Hate Fake People

Do you ever get upset with people who aren't being real or honest with you? INFPs value honesty and authenticity deeply. Learn about how INFPs learn and develop authenticity in today's video!

#infps #honesty #fake

INFPs are simultaneously described as some of the most authentic people out there and also some of the most likely personality types to be self-deceptive or pretentious in their need for a personal identity.

[shannongreer]

49 year old INFP here...

My first reaction is “WWWHHHAAAATTT? Being authentic is probably THE MOST important quality to me!” And I mean MORE important that any other description you could give me, this is the one!

I feel that maybe we are viewed this way due to us trying over and over again to get validation, by voicing who we are. We are starved to be understood! (At least I am)

But you’re right, because when younger, in an attempt to figure myself out, I grabbed a hold of ANY descriptions that even sort of matched up, I first tested as an ISTJ! Lol. Omg.

I feel like I finally understand myself and now finally know who I really am! It’s a relief! I wish I could have known when I was young!

[hivicar]

"INFPs most likely to type correctly." That statement made me instantly appreciate that we gained the understanding that we fit the type-only after living lives of being a person with those qualities. Bumping up against the misunderstandings of more extroverted people (and their rules and structures) now, we are equipped to go through it much better than before.

[alafiaj]

For this to be true, we are more likely to be in circumstances where we cannot be our authentic self! We are keenly self aware but we might decide not to reveal who we are.

[winterbird]

Sometimes INFPs will feel like they are inauthentic and be too hard on themselves and feel that they don't know themselves due to the extremely high bar they set in this area. And as a result they may look and even feel and be perceived as lost as they are always searching, refining, changing, growing.

Not because they are necessarily lost, inauthentic or selfish but because the search for growth is implicit in their nature. Some might perceive this as inauthentic as it may lead to choices that are hard for others to understand but it is part of a quest for true authenticity.

And as they strive for this they also try to help others they meet on their journey do the same and find their inner true selves as well.
In their quest the INFP is making themselves and the world a little bit better one day at a time.

Nothing fake about that in my opinion.

[billbirkett]

INFP's just have to stop caring about what other people think and just mind their own business. We are not fake, but we are so easily tortured by our larger perspective that we get distracted. So when INFP's can really learn to focus on their own goals and ignore others, then we can start to gain traction in life and to actually be happy. However we cannot indulge in any kind of delusions about reality (such as religion or strange philosophies). We must live soberly, and stare the darkness directly in the face. Just focus on developing your skills and having a life that you want to live. As much as we care about others, we have to mostly ignore them unless they can prove that they will not be there to criticize us or try to destroy us. That means accepting...that relationships are perhaps not as important in life as you thought they were.

[OyayubiHime]

Yes. You are spot on. For most people, figuring out who you are is a lifelong journey. Sometimes we attach ourselves to a specific idea or trait, that in time no longer fits within the framework of who we are. That's just part of being human.

So, for an INFP, maybe they were louder about a phase they were going through than the next person, but they are also more likely to figure out that said phase is not part of their true self.

I was often accused of being indecisive about most aspects of my life growing up, and into adulthood. I'm not indecisive, I'm just very particular about being authentic to who I am. If the options available to me don't speak to me, I'm going to have trouble picking one, because I don't really want to pick either. And its only as I grew up that I realized I didn't have to pick from the preset list, I could forge my own path.

Authenticity and going against the grain often appear fake, or false, to others who are more comfortable settling.

[scottsworld]

oh gosh yes. My friends always question/challenge me when I quickly flag a FAKE person. Weeks/months later, other people see that I was right.

[caramelunicorn]

I do think that we as human beings are complex beings, so we can't be authentic all the time, but should be authentic more often than not.

[Paarthurnaxdova]

45 year old INFP here ad I could care absolutely less about how others view me at all. I want nothing to do with their weird social structures and guidelines, I walk to the beat of a very different drum.

[SuzanneBeenackers]

I play/communicate with many masks, many identities.
No other person is entitled to know my true self, and technically it doesnt exist.
True self was me playing in the sandbox and then the world happened.
And the good people in it, immediately feel at ease because they feel I m just here to play.
And the others get frustrated because yes, they may feel I m inauthentic.
I feel playing with masks and personas is the perfect way for an INFP to go through life because the people that dig us, will connect with us on a deeper level, and use surface identity as play just like us.
And the people attached to us being fixed and reliable could very well be harmful to us.
Being shapeshifters, is what keeps us safe.

[spirallove]

this is very interesting! i immediately thought of two situations of when i was a teenager (im 31 now) where i was being extremely inauthentic, but in different ways. the first way was that i believed myself to be (or at least wanted to be) essentially an ESTP - someone who's super cool/popular and extremely good at basically everything practical - and so that's who i tried to be. needless to say, it failed pretty hard which was pretty discouraging for me

the other way is a bit more startling, and actually makes me question whether i could even be an INFP. this was a pattern of extreme and INTENTIONAL dishonesty, where i was creating fake online personas and pretending to be other people on the internet. i feel like the reason for this was insecurity - i was insecure about myself and wanted to be other people whom i felt were cooler, more attractive, more popular, etc. and making these fake profiles and pretending to be other people and being validated by others for the fake attractiveness that i was trying to portray gave me a twisted and obviously false sense of self worth, which i was desperately hungry for.

anyway i don't do that kind of thing anymore, honesty is basically THE most important thing to me nowadays, and although these are not typically things an INFP does, i still identify as an INFP more than any other type by far. but yeah, especially with the second case i feel like unhealthy states of being such as extreme insecurity can cause people to behave very out of character, as was the case for me. curious if any other INFPs or other types have had similar experiences

edit: also wanted to point out the interesting point that back when i was a confused insecure teen, i was utterly obsessed about my image and how others viewed me. now as a grown adult, it is the LAST thing i worry about. i could not care less about how others view me, but instead how i view myself is of paramount importance. it's like the thing flipped over completely

[MABYSS]

Yes, I think life brings situations into the infp experience that challenge our concept of self and help us discover and refine who we are.

[HumansOfVR]

A very interesting question to be asking

[biancaaustin]

You rock! Love your channel! Thank you for all you do 🤩

[OKotachTV]

I just watched video about Cocooning and other stages, I think it is connected. Every time I "rebirth: I am somewhat ashamed that the previous version of me now appears to be fake :o I think the cure is to remember that I am and will be constantly growing, thanks for making me realize that.

[theartzscientist]

I’m very picky about who I talk to. People convey this incorrectly. I believe most all people are bad in general. I only friend morally good people, which are rare.

[M-dvyj]

INFP's are extreme narcissists... they truly only empathize with themselves and can pass that off to others and to themselves as caring for others.

They got souls but their souls only burn for themselves

If u an ENFJ (especially) stay away from those black holes.... pretending to be light ... too much fakeness too much extreme selfishness ...

Their pain, their elaborate inner stories projected out into the world

[orangeziggy]

I felt ashamed and like I was a failure at being myself when I found out I was an infp because I'm not good at processing my feelings and I don't know what to do with my feelings. But everyone I try to read a book about it I can get only part of the way through and then I get intimidated and feel like a failure. FI is supposed to be what I'm best at. But you helped me to realize that it's normal to not know how to work with it in the beginning. And plus bc society commonly hides their feelings, and it's not taught in schools.

[thefruitthatateitself]

Ahahahha... Luckily as an INFP we couldn't care less about what people think about us...only cause we are thinking about them too hard.😂

[glendaunrau]

I noticed some negative comments about infp being narcissists. This really bothers me and I thought about it a lot, do I come across as somebody who is like this I asked myself. It really made me overthink about this relationship that I was in that was not good. And that maybe I was at fault for it not working, maybe I'm a narcissist, do I exhibit these tendencies towards narcissism. I thought about this, questioned myself. As an infp I'm very hard on myself, it really hurts me that others see me as this kind of person.