Broke Millennial On Prenups, The Having Kids Debate, & The Finances Of Love

[sarahg]

I set up my life, my finances, my career, etc, to NOT include a partner. If I found one (which I did), bonus. If I didn't find one/separated, I would be fine financially. As a woman, this was a very important goal for me

[sarahjcgillespie]

"I personally see a wedding invitation as a bill" - I laughed so hard at that! Could not agree more 😆

[EshiJay]

The fact that Chelsea and Erin both talk about the massive financial planning that goes into having a child, THANK GOD because most people do not plan enough for that kind of life decision!! Especially one that affects someone else's life more than yours!

[tahirisaid]

Financial books have been so helpful. I’m 54 and my wife 50 we are both retired with over $3 million in net worth and no debts. Currently living smart and frugal with our money. No longer putting blames on FED for our misfortunes. Saving and investing lifestyle in the stock market made it possible for us this early, even till now we earn weekly.

[petertaylor]

Really enjoying the conversation with regards to kids. It is something very important to talk about. My ex wife and I went into our marriage both on the same level of not having kids. During that time, I got a vasectomy. Years later, she changed her mind and had a strong desire for children. This is where our fundamental goals were different. With a very emotional, yet understandable divorce, we parted ways as a couple. Thankfully we are able to maintain a strong friendship and support each other. She is now a mother and is still with her partner. I like him too, and they treat each other well. He was even considerate enough to talk with me about everything. Point of this is even though we wanted it to be forever, it wasn't the right path.

[nataliekmaguire]

"Someone being annoyed or upset with you isn't the same thing as a problem you need to solve or a financial priority you need to accommodate."

[princessbuttonz]

What a breath of fresh air this talk was!

I'm at the top of the Millenial age range (38). As I was navigating major life choices around marriage / kids about a decade ago, I had few role models on which to draw and I definitely felt pressure to follow the social script despite being a well-educated urbanite woman. I learned the hard way why it is imperative to own my decisions as woman on the type of life I wished to have - especially in areas like marriage and children. I have learned to be very direct and clear with my (younger) partner about what I want out of my relationship and I hold space for him to do the same.

And one last thing, I am childfree by choice. I am the only one of my female friends who made this choice and have encountered "you'll change your mind when you hit your 30s" countless times. Sure I had a couple of friends "change their minds" but the truth is they always left the door open for this whereas I have been adamant since I was young. Ladies listen up: If you know in your heart that motherhood isn't for you, TRUST YOURSELF!

[FatimaLopez-jrth]

That "going 50-50 is not always fair" is something I was having in the back of my head during the whole podcast until she said it.
When my boyfriend and I started dating, we had to have the money conversation very early on, as he loves eating out, he is not someone who enjoys cooking at all.
And I was making minimum wage, as an immigrant from Spain in London... It was a bit stressful on me to keep the feminist independent point of paying 50-50 and wanting to be with him but not bringing up that I'd rather do some free (museums, parks, walks...) or cheaper (meals and movie at a house, cinema date instead of dinner date...) things because of money.
He sat me down to talk about it, because he noticed I was struggling with it.
So we agreed on reducing the amount of more costly dates (and we were not going anywhere fancy, I just couldn't afford spending 70-80 pounds each week or so on "us", or even "me") and he would oay 2 of every 3 times because it was wjat was fair, as he was making approximately double of what I was making.
It really helped set up a foundation for our relationship.
6 years later, I am almost at his pay level, living together and we are doing 50-50 in payments. We are indulging a bit more, because we are isolating almost completely, food options are not so good where we live now, and what else do we have to enjoy one year into lockdown?
And we have a sort of hybrid model with our spearate paychecks for our own indulgences and needs (him videogames and some takeout on his own mainly, me books and meds and medical bills for my two newly diagnosed autoimmune diseases) and run numbers for common items regularly (rent, bills, movies we rent, groceries...).

[oceanwonders]

I realize that I will never consider being with someone seriously who isn't willing to freely talk about money.

[Baruchgirl]

I am soo glad you addressed the financial expense surrounding family gatherings... not to mention work/associates who have weddings, wedding showers, baby showers etc. half these people I am no longer in contact with. This video was great.

[angelachiazzese]

My husband and call it simulation life. Before we bought our home, we lived the life as if we had that mortgage. When we finally purchased the home, there was no impact, and that extra money went to expenses and a little yeah we’re home owners trip.

[BbyDAp]

"Our audience is basically all women"
me: *shocked 20 y/o man*

[seraph]

Putting "I hope we always grow together, and never apart" is hardcore. I've never heard of anyone acknowledging --in their wedding vows-- that they might become incompatible people in the future, even though I think most people know it's a possibility

[Jess_Smith]

As someone in the early stages of the “let’s move in together” conversation with my partner, this was so extremely helpful and highlighted so many important points that I hadn’t even thought about! Thank you!

[colintalbert]

As a 47 year old male I found this very insightful and relevant to my own marriage. Wish it had been there for me 10 years ago.

[bethanymcmurtrey]

My mom is a banker and whenever she's teaching a client about financial responsibility, she tells them about my dad slicing his foot open with a round saw, it happened over 20 years ago and he's fine. Money and everything associated with it are tools and if you know how to use them, it helps you immensely in life. If you don't know how to use it, use it carelessly, or, like my dad and his saw, simply not pay enough attention, it can hurt you very badly.

[DiamondNestEgg]

Agreeing not to agree on everything is one of the mantras of our marriage!

[karenborowick]

I'm happy to see that young women are being this open, honest and practical regarding marriage and children. Bravo!

[elizabethcarr]

I think people should treat friendship like that too. every so often just check in with the other person.. Friendship can be the same as a romantic relationship.

[valentinasanchez]

Joint finances vs separate.
Marriage vs divorce.
Children vs no children.
*targeted*
If you're unmarried. Listen to this 5 times and PAY ATTENTION.