3 Mindset Shifts for When You Think “He’s Too Hot for Me” (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

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Ever notice how you completely fall apart when you try to speak to that guy you’re really attracted to?

It’s like with your best friends you can be effortlessly funny, talkative, and smart, then suddenly you’re talking to this guy and your brain turns to mush.

Then begins the negative self-talk:

“I’m not pretty enough,” “I have nothing interesting to say,” “He’s not going to like me.”

It’s like you instantly lose all of your game.

You go into “impress” mode. You over-analyze everything you say. You get in your head. Instead of just having fun in the moment, you start playing it cautious, like you’re in a game of chess and the stakes are life and death.

If you want to finally stop putting guys on a pedestal and instill new empowering beliefs that will make you bring your best to the table (no matter who you’re talking to) watch this week’s video before you do anything else...

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[JustineMfulama]

THAT QUOTE IS FIRE "Anyone who does not see your value, cannot be valuable to you". Wow, what a reminder that seeing value in someone is a choice. And that if a man (woman does not see your value) they choose not to and there is nothing you can do to change that! Because self-worth comes first. THANKS FOR SHARING THIS MOTIVATIONAL MESSAGE!!!

[corkaczarownicy]

I met a boy who just knocked my socks off. I thought he was so out off my league, he could never even notice me. Handsome, soo intelligent, funny, everybody liked him. Not only he initiated the contact between us, I married that man a week ago:)

[sky_]

The 3 tips:
1. Don't play the one-on-one comparison game.
2. What do you represent as a whole package?
3. Anyone you does not see your value cannot be valuable to you.

[elphabasj]

I introduced my friend to your videos earlier in the week while she was in the middle of feeling tiny, unwanted and insignificant. You’ve really turned her week around through your words! Thank you!

[robertpowell]

When you see a person you are attracted to, you immediately have an image, an ideal of what the person is and what sort of a relationship you can have with the person. When you are imagining the person it is nothing more than just a fantasy with the person you saw as a mask.

Eliminate that ideal because it is a false reality. Go into the interaction to see if they live up to your values, not with the intent to live in your perceived fantasy.

[theduden]

This hit me really hard as a dude. Feel like most of your videos also are hugely impactful for men and women alike. Keep up the great work!!

[FaithDeanLove]

I've always felt intimidated and insecure around people I percieve as "beautiful", and it's stopped me from being open to guys that I found attractive. I wouldn't look at them, and basically almost pretend they didn't exist because I didn't want them to notice me.
Love your videos 🥰 They have helped me a lot, comforted me in a rough time I was having, and brought me hope.
Thank you 😌

[stayslickwithkit]

Mind set 2, "Be you're authentic self".
I also think a lot of times we can feel insecure if we know the person has dated really attractive people before us. Ask ourselves questions like "Are they really attracted to me? Do they wish I was as hot as who they were with before?" Such self critical questions.
But when you are you Authentic self, you realise...none of those questions matter!!

An inspiration for me and my channel as always Matthew !

[iDOGu]

"...and they don't see the value you in you, then you lost nothing!" wow, how powerful is this!

[I.ConTwins]

Is there such a thing as 100% self-confidence? We are all living our own journey of personal growth and development. We all have insecurities. Even the most "perfect" looking people have insecurities.
⁣
Honestly, as much as insecurities can hinder our progress, it’s not all bad to have them. It means we care. It means we’re striving to improve and continue to be a better version of ourselves. 😊 💙

[cocolinabt]

Matt, seriously? do you read my mind... that's been the third time in a row that your new video hit dead center.

[FreePalestine-bx]

L❤️VE this, "your job is to show up and be your normal, authentic self" & know your own value. Matthew you are amazing man 😎👌

[felonyharlem]

My boyfriend right now is one of the most popular guys in campus. My friends (and I'm talking about 7 of us) and I used to fangirl over him when we saw him by the cafeteria, at a game, or in a party and stalk his Facebook on sleepovers. So when we started dating, I was always far too conscious. I was worried people would look at us and wonder what he was doing with me or that girls would go for him since they were prettier or generally better. What I learned is that he's also human and a total dork sometimes xD I treat him better than my exes not because he's a league "above" them, but because I want to be a good girlfriend to a good man :)

[lalisasa]

Never think someone is better then you you beautiful and there are people who love you just the way you are love yourselfs 😊

[JenniferJones-hwwu]

In marketing we sell the problem our product is solving, not the product itself. So in dating we show what we bring to the relationship of ourselves, like fun, romance, laughter, understanding, adventure, wit, whatever that may be. Looks fade (trust me, I'm 45) and what is inside is much more valuable. Love you as always, Matthew, and I look forward to hearing your lovely words each week. Best to you!!!

[rubinagomes]

"We don't fall in love with a feature, we fall in love with a package." Wow! #mindblown

[kathy-leew]

I also thought that but since my Date calls me beautiful and gorgeous and he loves all of me, I decided to shift my mind. Nobody wants to date/love someone who thinks ugly of themselves. So I slowly changed my mindset (took a whole damn month) and it changed my life.
Since I was little, I was always called the ugly one in school. And I kid you not, my best friend even called me "not attractive" sometimes and she always said I looked like a "villager". (Sounds toxic, I know)
People bullied me for my looks and I decided to stick to studying to strengthen my mind if I can't change my looks. I always relied on my wit, humour and behavior rather then my looks (I still took care, obviously, I kept being clean and wore clothes that suited my body type) and this is how I basically lived the majority of my life. Then my date came around and told me how beautiful I am and that I am a full package. It caught me off guard and at first I thought he wanted to pity me or even made fun of me. My mom always told me "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and that's true.

[ItsJennNotJenny]

I listen to this a few times a week to ingrain this in my mind. I'm pretty secure in myself but those doubts creep up in all of us. Love Matthew and his messages so much

[penelopemartinez]

I’m young and yet I watch ur videos I find them so interesting and peaceful 🥰
I learn a lot, you’re awesome 💛

[karens]

Wow. It took me years to realize the lines on the court are the same. I still need to be reminded even at age 50. Thanks for sharing this. 💕💕