DTB’s Best NBA Dunks of the Month (October/November 2018 Dunkilation)

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In past years, my "Dunks of the Month" videos have been accompanied by a serialized storyline which stretches from the beginning to the end of the season. However, that process is too much like "real writing" and not enough like "regurgitating half-baked opinions" (which is how I do most of my writing), so this season I'm sticking with the latter. Dunks in this video deemed worthy of commentary will be listed with timestamp so you can follow along.

0:00 - The video starts off with DeAndre' Bembry presenting his penis and balls to Wendell Carter Jr. Whatever invitation was implied in the action was not accepted.

0:04 - Is this where Fultz "injured" his "shoulder"?

0:30 - I become upset when a sick dunk happens and the commentators just sit there. It's like, were you ogling the cheerleaders instead of watching the game? Or did somebody behind you have nachos and you were trying to steal a chip?

0:40 - It is still unclear to me whether or not you are allowed to call black men "brothas" on TV, or if it makes a difference what race the speaker is. As far as I know, Reggie never got fined for his comments, so it must be okay.

0:52 - What's up with all the Connaughton dunks in a row? Who edited this video anyway?

0:59 - Judging by the commentary of this one, the Knicks must not have been having a very good game. Checking the score confirms this fact. If I was commentating a game and my team was losing by thirty to the Magic, I would just get up and walk out the door.

1:30 - I don't want to be pedantic, but that dunk was, in no way, "In Cristiano's Face."

1:37 - Is the commentator talking about Ingram's contract?

1:55 - No, no, no, I'm pretty sure it was Whiteside.

2:01 - This will not be the last time that you get the urge to check Jarrett Allen for fro damage.

2:08 - "AAAYYYeehhhh"

2:26 - Early candidate for "attempt to draw an offensive foul that went most horribly wrong." If I was Dudley I would just keep sitting on the floor until coach called time to sub me out.

2:43 - This is the second time that Mike Breen laments about the Knicks' lack of highlight plays. Yep, they're down by thirty again, to another team that shouldn't be able to beat ANYBODY by thirty.

3:05 - Stacey King is so tickled by his own line that he can't even finish it.

3:12 - OFFICIAL DTB VERDICT: Thrunks count as dunks.

3:40 - You'd better get used to this guy having orgasmic reactions to Pacer dunks because he'll be doing it all season.

3:46 - I didn't know that Wilson Chandler was capable of looking like he cares about basketball.

4:23 - Mitchell Robinson's body control defies the laws of physics. He spins 180, stops to catch and dunk, then continues spinning.

4:30 - Stacey King is probably upset that the Bulls let Klay Thompson hit fourteen three-pointers.

4:36 - ALERT: Lame Star Trek reference ahead.

5:16 - Some say that Larry Nance is hanging on the rim to this day.

5:22 - Brook Lopez wasn't gonna get a "hanging on the rim" technical until he decided to kick Valanciunas for no reason. Then it became a "kicking a guy after dunking on him" technical.

5:28 - With the hair and beard, I thought this was Ricky Rubio for a second. Side note: can Rubio even dunk?

5:34 - Was Capela pretending to be Hulk Hogan or do I just not know what this gesture means? Was it...gasp...GANG SYMBOLS????

5:41 - If Jarrett Allen had been a few inches to his right, this would have been dunk of the year.

5:50 - Attention Spurs commentator dude: "DeFrozen" is not a term of endearment.

6:03 - Raise your hand if you thought that was Giannis.

6:24 - Baby? Huh?

6:38 - You can see Benny the Bull trying to get out of the poster.

6:47 - Okay, that was pretty cool. "U mad cuz I'm styling on u"

7:23 - I think Pascal Siakam's shoulder now has a permanent tattoo of Kelly Oubre's "Kelly Oubre Junior". "Dry Humping" is the phrase I thought of here.

7:36 - One could argue that a blocked thrunk (that accidentally went in) doesn't deserve to be in a dunkilation, but it looked awesome and that's, like, the one criterion I have for these things. Also, "HOLY SMOKES!"

8:10 - I think they had to fix the rim after Boban just hung on it while standing on the floor.

8:19 - Did he dunk himself to death? No, wait, he got right back up.

8:35 - This commentary is okay, but Quinn Buckner probably would have said something vaguely sus in between "OOOOHHHH"s and "UUUHHHNNNN"s. I would rather have heard that.

9:02 - Greek on Greek violence of this magnitude hasn't been seen since the Greek Civil War in the 40's. Or that time when I put souvlaki meat on my gyro (it didn't work out).

9:23 - This was a cool dunk until the commentator started autistically talking about win chance percentages, as if KAT hadn't just totally knocked Millsap down like a bowling pin. It's like that Leeroy Jenkins video where the guy's crunching the "chance of survival" numbers and comes up with 32.3 (repeating of course) percent chance of survival.