Sorry, but you DO need suffering in your life | Arthur Brooks

“Not only does Mother Nature not care about your happiness, she knows that we need lots of negative emotions to keep us alive.” Harvard happiness professor Arthur Brooks on why suffering IS necessary for true happiness.

Arthur Brooks, author and Harvard professor, has some startling news: In order to be happy, we also need to be unhappy, at least a little bit.

To explain this theory, Brooks reflects on the ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus, who proposed that the key to happiness is to simply suffer less, not by seeking constant pleasure but by eliminating sources of discomfort.
This idea, although intuitive, has significant implications. Avoiding the relationships and activities that cause friction can indeed make us happier. However, Brooks warns against the modern trend of overprotecting ourselves and our children from any form of suffering or conflict. In the long run, these types of “protection” could actually be more harmful than beneficial.

Suffering is a natural part of life that teaches resilience and helps us especially appreciate the good moments we experience. As Carl Jung noted, we need contrast in our lives to truly experience joy.

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[breal]

I very often think of an older, Black man who was being interviewed for the news in Louisiana after a hurricane destroyed his home, his community. He said to the reporter: In this life, we must learn to suffer. Wise man. I wish I could find that video again.

[tapanisydanmetsa]

I was many years a homeless alcoholic. My sleeping spots were often miserable during rainy seasons. Shit, what memories of being soaking wet carrying a sleeping bag weighing ten kilos because of all water it sucked in. Big puddles dirty water under bridges and construction having openings here and there for the rain pouring in although you just had thought that shelter was at last found. Often not enough of drink to try numb the consciousness a little.
FREEZING, too! In Paris!
But now, HAHAHAHAHAHA!! I honestly often burst in happy laughter in my guest house room in Gokarna, Krnataka, India. FULL MONSOON TIME! Best when there is some thunder, too, accompanying the floods of water cascading down from the sky full of dark clouds.
I AM HAPPY! And I am sure that I could not be so happy about monsoon as I am now without my homeless experience. I just LOVE the Sober I am also since 20 years. But maybe I would not like to say that you have first to experience all the misery of alcoholism to fully enjoy the happiness of just being sober. It helps, though 🤪

[Gulzt]

The general message is great, it encourages resilience. Epictitus, however, did definitely NOT encourage "Removing your sources of suffering", not in the literal sense as this video suggests. Epictetus, the Stoic philosopher, recommended dealing with suffering by changing one’s perspective and focusing on what is within one’s control.

[locaterobin]

We need mechanisms for experiencing suffering, not the circumstances where they need to be activated.

[i-am-a-pseudo-intellectual]

I strive for balance. I call it contentment rather than happiness. My friends tell me that I could be told that the president was just shot or I just won 10 million dollars and have essentially the same expression on my face. I'm not a psychopath but I strive to avoid overreactions. This may have been shaped by many things but I credit my 23 years in Special Operations as a big part of it. Someone once told me happiness is contingent on happenings but contentment is what we need. I hope that helps somebody out there.

[ajcraft-hello]

“Your sorrows carve containers for your future joys” -Khalil Gabron, paraphrased

[randomboris]

I couldn't agree more. Suffering is like an engine for change and growth, without it, there is no need to change and growth.

[JayLamb-dp]

She ruthlessly crushes all and where she crushes the most... is where some... grow strong.

[johnfontana]

“There’s no way to delay the trouble coming every day” you end up winning by losing, the obstacle is the way!

[locaterobin]

We only need to see dark once to know what light is, then maybe just an occasional reminder so we don't take light for granted ☺️

[unclecode]

While pain is integral to life, the author mischaracterizes Epicureanism, and I have seen this many times. Epicurean pleasure isn't about "removing pain sources", but achieving "absence of disturbance" by embracing life's cycles, including pain. If you think throughly, its quiet different. Epicurus advocated understanding and moderately satisfying needs (like hunger), not eliminating them. This leads to ataraxia - tranquility amidst life's inevitable pains and pleasures - not avoidance through indulgence, like the part of video shows excessive online shopping!. When raising children, it's wiser to present pain as an expected part of life and pleasure as unexpected. This approach creates resilient individuals who aren't shocked by life's difficulties and can truly appreciate moments of joy, rather than those who expect constant happiness and are traumatized when pain inevitably occurs.

[prudentsage]

Suffering is a complex shared experience that piece together a cause and effect. You cant just say we must all suffer and here you are sitting at the most comfortable chair preaching. Sorry not sorry :) I agree with one of the commenter here that said, "We need a mechanism for experiencing suffering not the the circumstances where they need to be activated."

[max]

We suffer more in our imagination than in the reality...
So basically a start point to ease the suffering is trying to use out imagination constructively and do our best to imagine beautiful scenarios to the best of our ability

[noragrettispaghetti]

I disagree about only knowing good because you see bad. Think about any time you've had a positive experience for the first time, like tasting a dish you really liked. You didn't have to eat garbage to know that the dish was good. Sure eating garbage might make the dish taste much better, and provide a frame of reference, but I think it's entirely possible for a person to theoretically go through his entire life ONLY having positive experiences and no negative experiences, if such a life was curated for him, and he would be happy.

[laelfoo]

Arthur schoepenhauer is somewhere saying “I told you so”

[olumidelonge]

Pretty bold to assume this is a mistake people make. I’ve been alive for 27 years and never heard anyone say “Mother Nature cares about my happiness”

[naveen]

In sitha philosophy from tamilnadu say every living being have experience of existence by having the action with equal and opposite reaction. Its called karma. A consciousness keeps born and die to have this cycle.

Suffering and happiness, with equal ratio a consciousness gets the knowledge of existence and truth of universe. Love in cosmic sense is true meaning of everything.

We can escape the cycle by understanding the philosophy of nature and do some changes in our way of life. Love is the only true of happiness.

Love is shivam❤❤❤

[Olga-oopl]

What suffering is he referring to? Performing unwanted chores? Receiving a failing grade in school? The discomfort from exercising? These are not examples of true suffering; they are simply tasks that must be completed. Real suffering, such as being a victim of war or crime, causes trauma and does not contribute to happiness in any way.

[Rico]

👀 Happiness is like soap; it feels good to be refreshed by events & activities from time-to-time, but those feelings wear off.

The point of life is not to dwell in perpetual happiness. Suffering (hardship) is required to balance us out, but it will always be “RELATIVE” to each of us.

[jaymimcmanus]

Moksha is an interesting concept from 2300-1500 BC.