What to Do When You Offend Someone | Lambers Fisher | TED

Misunderstandings between you and your loved ones will happen — it's what you do next that matters most, says marriage and family therapist Lambers Fisher. Drawing on his work helping couples and relatives work through communication issues, he shares four principles to accept the inevitability of offending someone close to you — and how to use these moments to build trust and empathy.

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[bladdermirpootin]

I tend to not offend anyone because I don’t speak personally with most people. I’m just polite with everyone and then at the end of the day go hide in my books.

[riverbilly]

This is helpful. Reminds me that successful friendships and successful marriages have a lot in common. Thank you.

[iamerikka]

Lord where is the audience. Everyone need to hear this a few times

[Ribberflavenous]

I like how he does not make this an embarrassment issue, but an ignorance issue, and that is part of growing. It feels sometimes like cancel culture has pushed many into relationship silos which just exacerbate the ignorance. I don't think I am alone in avoiding interaction or public posts because some SJW or 'Karen' will crucify me for saying something that was never meant to harm, but was offensive in a way I didn't understand. So the follow-up to this talk would be - what to do when you have someone melting down and wants blood after you learned/apologized. The lunatics are not the majority of the people I deal with, but their volume takes up a majority of my online memories.

[datpspguy]

One of the best Ted Talks I've heard in a long time. Great talk!

[karenegroesbeck]

This was a great talk. There was a lot of good information. Thank you so much.

[Cloudss]

Excellent presentation Mr. Fisher. I will be sharing your Tedx video with others. You are doing amazing work that helps maintain connections and heal. Thank you for your contributions to society.

[jclgts]

I did not thought that someone else besides me, would think like this ...

[kimruffin]

This talk is a keeper! Such important concepts that I’ll need to return to at some point. Thank you!

[Youtube_Summarizer]

Here are the key points and the important details of this video, created by @Youtube_Summarizer

Key Points：
1. [Key Point 1]: Accept unintentional offenses, learn from them to prevent future ones.
2. [Key Point 2]: Embrace ignorance, acknowledge it's temporary, and strive to learn more.
3. [Key Point 3]: Reassure those hurt, change behavior to show commitment beyond words.
Important Details:
Here's the timeline, created by @Youtube_Summarizer
00:00:04 Embracing Good Intentions
• Speaker discusses the challenges of maintaining good intentions.
• Speaker introduces the concept of accepting unintentional offenses.
00:01:41 Relationship-Strengthening Principles
• Speaker shares four relationship-strengthening principles.
• Emphasizes the importance of disagreement and ignorance in relationships.
00:06:22 Understanding Misunderstandings
• Speaker explains the inevitability of misunderstanding.
• Encourages accepting misunderstandings and reassuring those hurt.
00:09:27 Reassuring Hurt Persons
• Speaker advises on reassuring people who feel threatened.
• Highlights the importance of words backed by actions.
00:10:14 Accepting Inevitabilities
• Speaker emphasizes accepting the inevitability of offense.
• Encourages efforts to reduce the frequency of offenses.

We hope this summary helps you better understand the video content! If you have other videos that need to be summarized, please visit @Youtube_Summarizer

[ZOMBIEHEADSHOTKILLER]

to paraphrase the very famous Stephen Fry
"youre offended, so fucking what?"

[bambangpratama]

Very good talk, like how he give it to the audience, clear and smooth..

[nicab.]

What a great lesson on how to be a better human!

[robschebel]

If you’re telling yourself that offending others is their problem, and not yours, then you have a lot of growing up to do. Mature adults take responsibility for their words and actions, and act with compassion toward others they may have hurt, even unintentionally.

[Welcome-]

"‏كرامتك و عزت نفسك هما أغلى ما تملك لا تخسرهما ولو كلفك ذلك حياتك كلها…

[oliviao]

These defensible arguments often retract from the deep issue as the understanding typically fades away.

[diegoSG]

I don't speak my mind hardly because of the thought of being offensive, but when I do, I find that that very group of people or person was thinking the same thought or way.

[thelonelycmdr]

This is certainly one of the Ted talks of all time

[ThePronx-ugjy]

the time when in a situation experiencing inevitability of clearly express the self

[jnscott]

This is a pretty good theory; However, I dispute the intentions/harm idea. I counter with Grain of Salt and Take it to Heart... IF one person (maybe 2) says or does something towards you, that bothers you, then take it with a grain of salt. IF it happens 9 or 10 times, then take it to Heart. It's a pattern or problem that You need to deal with, that You are responsible for, and You need to overcome or change the issue whatever it is.
You need to be accountable for the reaction, and not be offended by the next person who "triggers" YOUR Issue.